The Full History of the Goblin Kingdom

The goblin warriors took up arms when the invader came to their lair with the readiness of creatures who have no other occupation.
The trespasser, mighty in his arms but alone, bellowed, "I will slay the goblin king!"
The goblins, in their strange language, bellowed back, "We don't have one!"
"Don't know what it is!"
"Oh? Then I will teach you," the man said, and he was as good as his word. Delighted by his explanation, the goblins chose one to rule whom the warrior promptly slew before retiring during the royal funeral he had also explained.
The next day brought another assault, and despite their previous gratitude for his instruction, the goblins did not recognize the man who called out, "Today I will slay the goblin queen!"
"We don't have one!"
"Don't know what it is!"
Similar events followed, and when on the next day the warrior returned for the head of the goblin cardinal, the sole difference was the complexity of the explanation. After that came the chamberlain, then the marshal, then the head gardener, and so on. Each new position intrigued the goblins.
Months later, against expectations, a single man claimed the bounty for the eradication of the goblin tribe. Even less to be foreseen, his claim proved upon investigation to be true. In addition to the bounty, the lord made the man a baron under him, so impressed was he, and the new baron named his manor the House of Patterns Unrecognized in commemoration of his exploits.
Finis

Addendum

Though if your setting doesn't resemble the early 18th century, I encourage you to reconsider.

When to Ignore Anachronism

You may think of "ha-ha" as an early 18th-century term, but go ahead and use it no matter what time period your setting resembles.

Lesson of the Wizard-Saint

An exclusive interview with Rodelon the Wizard-Saint! Mr. Wizard-Saint, how did you attain that exalted position of both wizard and saint?
"The wizard part was just the same as for anyone. Study, more study, expeditions to strange realms, and more study after that. I wasn't very ambitious. Just the one title was enough for me. After I achieved it though, I had so much free time. I wasn't used to that, I can tell you. I decided to try a bit of gardening.
"I can't do anything by half-measures. I spent more and more of my time and attention on my garden. Yes, soon I put all my soul into it."
That's fascinating! Can we see your garden?
"Certainly. It's known as the Blackdread Mire today. That was when I realized my soul needed as much work as my wizard skills, and here we are."
Wow! Any advice for our readers?
"Few of you will become wizards, but look to your soul even so."
Finis

Difficult Moral Questions

The hero and his wary companions crouched down to pass through the portal, half-blocked by a half-fallen column. The space within, once a chamber of a tall and sprawling palace but now more appropriately called a den.
"What kind of sage lives here?" the warrior wondered.
"This kind!" The dust itself seemed to lift from the floor's cracked tiles and became a mist. Out of it walked a man, robed and menacing in his dark power. "I am the sage you seek. The last sage of evil in all the world. And the wisdom you are to hear from me is to be careful of your actions and how far you go. There is a balance in this world, a balance of good and evil. You must not wipe out evil from the world!"
The hero gasped. "Why?"
"Because I would get lonely. There are hardly any evil people around as it is. Imagine if nobody else used swords. Nobody would understand why you think better swords are a big deal. Shops would stop selling them!"
"That does sound bad for you, but I think the world as a whole will get by," the healer mused.
"And, on top of that, can't you just get a hobby?" the lovable rogue asked. "Like gardening or polo. People are doing a lot with astronomy these days, right? You can have interests other than just being evil. That actually sounds pretty boring. Do you really talk about how evil you are with other people?"
The sage of terror examined his nails. "I used to, but you killed most of them. Not that they didn't deserve it, but you know how it is. Besides, I have no need for advice from you. I'm a sage. Obviously I already attended several meetings of a society of percussion enthusiasts, but I had to stop. I feared I was becoming less evil."
"Isn't that good? To be good?" the healer asked.
"No, because of the balance."

And when all the evil power was destroyed and the recreational glassblowing scene grew so big that it was all the last evil sage could do to keep up with it, leaving him no time for evil, the world did just fine. Better than ever, as it happened.
Finis