Challenging Literature

If you call every country in your setting an empire, people will struggle to figure out which is the bad one. Get ready for all the awards that'll pour in!

The Expeditious Court

The minister approached the Great Decider with this problem.
"A space has opened in the Gold Bazaar. Which of these two merchants from the Silver Bazaar should be permitted there? One is of a respectable lineage and has never been accused of dishonesty. The other has faced complaints but defeated them; moreover, he contributed to the recent naval rebuilding." Saying that, he placed two tokens before the Great Decider, knelt, and waited.
A servant chosen for his muscle approached the Great Decider to give the thing a good spin. It revolved and revolved, at last stopping with the pointer on "left." The matter was decided.
"These decisions certainly go smoothly now," a functionary noted. "I wonder that anyone thinks a king to be necessary."
"But what if someday not just speed and impartiality but also perspicacious judgment is required?" his companion fretted, unaware how often a similar question occurred to subjects of kings with the sole difference that speed and impartiality made no appearance.
Finis

Addendum

"We don't have to get a real tree this year. Also I was thinking about going to bed early on the 31st." - future prison inmates

Legal Clarification

It is now illegal to play or listen to Christmas music. That is, in your science fiction setting where future nations try to unify populations flung across planets and space stations by enforcing a universal culture right down to standardizing colors for book covers (military scifi has a diamond pattern).

Accommodation With the Night

The last gleam in the sky fled, abandoning the town in its cowardice. Any doors still open shut and every empty bed was filled. Except for one. Somewhere inside a stately mansion, fiendish eyes opened; their owner stood.
The ruler of the night wandered the streets, as capricious as death and as quiet as despair. Throughout the nocturnal hours, no disturbance dared break out for fear of him. It had been so for months. He retired only when herald rays cried that the sun would soon take up again its inescapable watch over the world.
"Anything happen last night?"
"'Course not, not ever since we elected a vampire mayor."
"Only clever thing we ever did in this town. Used to be three robberies a day. My thanks to His Honor again." With that last, he doffed his cap and bowed toward the mayoral mansion, and several joined him in that.
Finis

Halloween Sustainability

The wonks have noticed, but most people are unaware that we have simply run out of mummies. The Egyptians, impressive as the accomplishments of their alien buddies were, produced only so many. For that reason, support the upcoming initiatives to entomb everyone who has ever held national elected office using ancient techniques which inexplicably confer magical powers a few thousand years later that later generations might enjoy what our own cannot.

Addendum

Some might protest that making convicts live inside a whale is essentially a death sentence. Those people go in the whale.

Incarceration Solutions

Prisoners often end up inside whales, but fantasy governments should consider sending them there directly. It's like exile except nobody gets mad at you for sending your worst junk.

Rule of Power

Once, the people were distraught at the state of their laws and begged for a lawgiver to come to them. Hearing their supplication, Power Dragon descended.
"Shouldn't Law Dragon have come?" the people asked.
"I am stronger than Law Dragon. Therefore I conquered him and assumed his role."
From that, the people learned one important law. They desired to have more laws still but were perplexed by manifold considerations and subtleties.
"Then let the strongest among you decide."
"Is strength same as wisdom?" the people wondered.
"By no means!" Reason Dragon declared that during his descent. Soon Mercy Dragon and Harmony Dragon arrived as well. Their discourse on the science of law soon became bickering.
Power Dragon allowed them to engage in that for a moderate interval before he slapped all three away with his terrible claws and sent them tumbling. He departed without another word, confident the people comprehended the incident's significance.
Finis

Addendum

Accordingly, instead of starship captains we'll have counts, except we'll call them earls 'cause we ain't soft. Those are the smaller ships of course, while the Austria-sized ones will be classed as duchies. Not grand duchies. Those will be far bigger.

Science Fiction Political Units

As convenient as it is to make each planet a single political entity, the future won't be any good unless we have spaceships big enough to rate as a county at least.

Addendum

The secret is that I just wanted to roll out "thaumatocracy."

Against Thaumatocracy

Given that being capable of magic is better than being incapable, what are some reasons mages might not be in charge?

- There aren't enough of them
-- It requires innate talent which few have
-- It takes too long to learn
-- They keep dying
-- Numbers are limited by the need for some external resource. For example a mage has to bathe in dragon's blood or make a contract with a manticore
- There are too many of them. Being a mage isn't a big deal, and hiring some is less of one.
- Magic isn't that good
- The kinds of people who learn magic are bad at maintaining political power
-- They're too busy with magical studies
-- Magic is linked to certain characteristics such as lack of ambition or gullibility
-- Magic alters mages, for example removing the need for food and replacing it with an insatiable urge to visit places of power
-- Magical expenditure requires long periods of isolation or hibernation
- The kinds of people who learn magic don't want to maintain political power
-- Magical talent isn't hereditary. Ensuring your family will be passed over for some genius discovered in a village is distasteful.
- The kinds of people who learn magic can't maintain political power
-- The gods who give them power forbid it
-- The terms of their contracts forbid it
-- The dragons who rule the world forbid it, and they do check regularly
-- Magic circulates through the bonds between people, so that the more subordinates one has, the more his magic is divided among them - The rulers are capable of preventing it
-- They aren't mages, but they have magic
--- Divine sanction
--- The approval of the land itself
--- Contracts with manticores
--- A store of artifacts
--- Hereditary talents
--- They're the source of magic
-- They're above magic
--- Gods rule directly
--- Dragons/manticores/basilisks etc. rule directly
--- Aliens rule directly (they came to research magic)

There are a few reasons. As for how mages might become an oppressed minority, they can't, cut that out, your allegory stinks.

On Conscientious Governance and Adapting in Response to Circumstances

The provincial capital's most eminent, or those who aspired to that position, had lined up outside the governor's residence earlier than some of them awoke on a typical day. They awaited the new governor.
He came. Striding toward his door, he moved as if unaware anyone was there aside from him, but he began speaking before he passed the first well-wishers in rapid words full of good sense. "Gentlemen, the custom for freshly installed officials is to set out their program for their terms, and I cannot imagine violating it. First is this. The most knowledgeable about local conditions and the most studied in the law will consult for the purpose of creating a code of laws to apply to a group of people which I am told is now over eight percent of the population, higher than the thugs who stand in a field and wait to be killed an looted, another problem our energies must go toward solving. What is that you're wearing?"
The governor had finally stopped, square in front of one young man.
"It's a baseball cap."
"I don't know what that is. Are you one of them? How did you get here?"
"I fell into a canyon and died, then I woke up here."
"My condolences. These people are who I mean, gentlemen. Special skills?"
"Magic-suppressing magic."
"Of course, of course. Stay steady and we'll take care of you." The governor resumed his march to the residence. "Second, the administrators of the magic schools here, a strangely large number it seems to me, are to provide an explanation of why they're always wrong about which talents are good. It saps confidence, gentlemen. Third, I want a justification for the policy of distributing bullies among these schools. Fourth, respecting these multiple reports of amnesia . . ."
Finis

Addendum

Not a good empire. Nobody said anything about a good empire. Just not especially evil.

As the Seasons Change, So Too Do the Trends

Through: Intelligent armor that sounds like your parents.
New: Non-evil empires.

The Heart of Necromancy

"Blast!"
The corpse dissolved into dust while the necromancer looked on, disgusted. His servant moved to clean up the mess, barely quelling his repugnance.
"Hurry up, servant. The experiments must be resumed right away. When I have combined zombies and ghosts successfully, at last the zombost will exist, with all the insubstantiality of the ghost and the stench of the zombie! Ahahaha!"
"Yes, master." The servant worked quickly, not because of the command but because of his own inclination to spend the least possible time in the experimental chamber. Even so, he paused at the door and looked back, mumbling, "How does he afford all this? Who would pay him?"
"You fool! I heard every word. Don't you realize I'm an employee of the city in charge of freeing up cemetery space? I've been commended for my work every year! Begone!"
That was how the servant learned he had been hiding his employer's identity for no reason. I hope we all learned a little something about honesty and, more importantly, government work.
Finis

Journey of the Frog Prince

Once upon a time there was a frog prince, and he was troubled for he had no subjects. "I must subject frogs to my government if I am to be a true prince," he said to no one, for he had as yet no court. He sought frogs to rule over, and while doing so, of course he ran into an adventure.
There was a castle, and outside it a knight wept for all the magnificence of his arms and his steed, and moreover he had many followers. The frog hopped to him and asked the cause of his sorrow.
"I see that you are a prince among frogs, Your Highness," the knight said and bowed. "Inside this castle lives a coward who has kidnapped my wife, my parents, my brothers and sisters, and that is to speak only of my own woes. He loves ransom and nothing else. The solution to the problem would be easy if ever he came to face me, but knowing that he hides himself behind those walls that were enchanted by a sorcerer for whom the coward did some wicked deed. I cannot bring them down no matter the engines I bring against them."
"I'm minded to chastise this fellow," the frog replied. "Array your people outside the gate and observe." After bidding the knight in that fashion, the frog hopped up to the walls and with a princely leap crossed over entirely. Soon he had the gate open, for though there were guards, the event surprised them so much that they fainted.
The knight stormed the castle and soon proved the truth of his earlier boast by beheading the cruel lord of the place. Everyone was free of that menace, whereupon the frog prince received much praise.
The knight further asked if there was anything they might do for the frog, whereupon the animal replied, "Certainly, if you might tell me where to find common frogs, for it is quite improper for me, a prince, not to rule over subjects."
"That is true, Your Highness, but I cannot see why they must be frogs that you rule." The knight said that and did homage on the spot, and everyone in the castle followed. As the years passed, the frog prince's power only grew. When next you wonder why we are ruled by frogs, remember there was a good reason for it, whatever you think of the arrangement now.
Finis

Revisiting Old Ideas

Technology has solved problem after problem. It became unexceptional to read about this disease eradicated, that famine averted. The only difficulty, people expected, that could never be solved was achieving perfect government. They held that belief so firmly that nobody noticed when it was.
Join us now as we go behind the scenes to get a glimpse, if we can, of how this little lab ended the scourge of poor road repair, riots, and expensive campaigns all at once. Analysts assure us it's not mind control, but what if they're the ones being controlled? Ha, ha!
Here's Dr. Ermeyer. Give to us straight, Doc. What's the secret?
"Well, you know the old saying about magic and technology? We synthesized a chemical which gives people magic powers. After some trials, one thing led to another, and, well, the government is now run by immortal wizard-kings."
Amazing! What made you think to try that?
"We read a bunch of books with immortal wizard-kings in them. This was usually presented as a suboptimal situation, but quite frankly, none of us saw a good argument why. It seemed like a good arrangement to us. I'll leave it to the rest of you to judge."
There you have it. Magic is back, and it's more helpful, and less fell and dolorous, than ever! With the joys on offer today, our immortal wizard-kings don't need tyranny to have a good time. Even magic has been fixed by technology.
Finis

A Holiday Special

That last story was in honor of Presidents' Day. Unfortunately, only the first two American presidents governed in that fashion, but maybe we can get back to that with the proper reforms.