How to Name Your Chapters

In this fast-paced, born-late-die-early-supernova world, what readers want is for the chapter title to say exactly what's going to happen so they don't have to read the rest of it. Studies have shown that nobody likes reading anyway.

Proper Philosophy

Readers! Never forget that time is strictly linear, no matter what tricks scoundrels come up with to shake your conviction.

Incurable Mischief

Writers! Make sure to copy the first four pages of your book as the last four pages in reverse order so that people who flip to the end will learn about the cyclical nature of time.

How to Liven Up Your Boring Fantasy Story

A miniboss in every chapter. If you're story isn't boring, you aren't allowed to read this, by the way. You already did? That's a fine, I'm afraid.

Innovation Station

Number your chapters backwards so the story counts down to the conclusion. This might not work very well if the last chapter is a summing up, what happened after kind of thing, though there's always Chapter 0 for those instances.