Looming Phoneme Disaster

There you are, writing about the mysterious artificially created superstructure Ogg Vorbis your hero has just discovered in space, when you decide to check and find out something's already called it. I estimate we'll run out of things to call the stuff we make up somewhere around 2037. The only solution is a total language reboot.

Word Corner

There aren't nearly enough synonyms for hair. It's time to ransack some other languages, fellas!

A Brutal Takedown of Monarchy

Why is it monarchy and not monocracy? Or, alternatively, why not demosarchy? Or, failing that, why not onerule and peoplerule? Why are we bothering with this Greek nonsense in the first place? An inferiority complex?

How to Make Your Dragons More Intimidating

German. Which is scarier, a dragon or a drache? Check out other languages too. I imagine there are some. I don't know of any.

Quick Language Clarification

Could the language everyone understands without being taught it be . . . love? No. That isn't a language.

Addendum

The language of the gods, sure. A language embedded in our genetic code by the life-seeding civilization, of course. A newly developed language that was refined by linguistic engineers so that everybody understands it instantly in a clear improvement over old models. But don't forget about alignment languages!

Keeping Up With Trends, I Tell You

Rickety: Someone who has lived his entire life on a spaceship.
Victory: A language people understand without having learned it.

Language Corner

Did you know . . .
. . . people used to write "phantasy?" On purpose and everything. Don't that just beat all?

Generational Differences

These days, if you say someone "gave the door a rap," people will think it means something totally different! They'll think the door is being framed! Which was done earlier or else it wouldn't function as a door! They'll be confused!

The Culture of the New Age

Do people still know Pig Latin? You know, the kids on their Discords and their Pinterests? Or is it deader than actual Latin, which fancy dancies learn, at least a little bit?

The Sixth Column

General Winsdel slammed his fist on the desk. "If only we could discover how those blasted orcs are receiving supplies! I inspected our blockade personally just last week. Just put that there if you don't mind." He tapped the table to indicate to the servant, who of course was a foreigner, where he wanted his biscuits.
"It's the most puzzling problem we face, certainly. We've penned them in, and I hardly think anyone but an orc would want to help another orc. And yet . . ." Marshal Carrow leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "They should be stuck and out of luck. Hm. Stuck, luck, orc. I have it!" He jerked up and startled General Winsdel and the servant both. "Winsdel! What's 'orc' spelled backwards?"
"Cro."
"Now shift it all a letter to the left!"
"What do you mean? Oh, I see. Roc!"
"Rocs are nothing but air orcs! They're getting the supplies through." The marshal slouched. "No, no, that can't be it."
"What's wrong? I thought you really had it there."
"Don't you see? That makes sense in our language, but not in theirs."
"Don't be a, er, what I mean to say is, a man of your experience and knowledge of the world surely knows there's only one language. Foreigners are all just pretending. It's a bit of a joke to them."
"You think so?" Marshal Carrow pondered the matter as he accepted the tea the servant brought in, and General Winsdel did the same. "Now if that's true, our next step has to be . . . has to . . . Winsdel, I suddenly feel . . ."
Both men collapsed, senseless. The servant shook his head. "You ought to have kept your considerable intellects focused on the war, gentlemen." He snapped his fingers to summon a crew of burly foreigners who lifted the two officers and hustled them out of the building. What will become of our heroes?
Finis