Customizable Audiobook Settings

Everybody already knows this is the future. The standard options at first will be:
- Normal
- "Funny voices"
- ASMR
- Narrator shouting to be heard over a vacuum cleaner
- Drunk friend trying to explain the plot (he does not remember it correctly)
- Hatsune Miku
Developments will continue of course.

The Proper Audience

How about spelling "castle" as "cassel?" Nobody will know what you're talking about, but the audiobook narrator will appreciate it.

Watch Out For This Revolution

Now that we have audiobooks, fantasy and science fiction musicals based on your favorite books aren't far behind. They'll have a total of ten singers among them, so I hope you like the ones who get in on it.

The Future of Audiobooks

Soon every audiobook will be read by a digital recreation of Jack Benny, and future people won't understand why it was ever different.

Addendum

Of course it's going to be the same guy in all of them. He's the best. Why would you want the second-best on your audiobook?

The Forthcoming Industry Standard

Soon every audiobook will include a guy who says "Yeah" and "Come on!" every so often. Prices will go up. Get ready for it.

2023's Biggest Subgenres

Soporific Fantasy and Soporific Science Fiction. People already use audiobooks and tedious regular books to fall asleep, so let's optimize the process. It isn't as easy as it seems. If your book is too consciously boring, that in itself becomes interesting. Plus, people will put it down instead of struggling to read it, their eyelids closing involuntarily, the same sentence read five times in a row.