Undeniable Evidence of Something

"Humanity has settled one hundred twelve planets at the last official count and yet the bulk of us live on eight planets. The population of most planets does not exceed ten million. I'll leave ideas about incentives, forced emigration, inefficiency, medical prioritization, homogenization, etc. to others. We have to deal with ramifications, not policies.
"Transportation has never been more desired. A grandmother from Podunk III goes shopping on Bazaar Prime and relaxes with tea on Cheap and Classy VI; that's what people expect today. A commute between Mine World and Apartment World might take less time than two cities on Earth, on the same continent, in the same time zone.
"This isn't news. It isn't something the market has remained ignorant of. There are countless companies scrabbling for these passengers. How does anyone stand out? How do we stand out?
"Our new interstellar liner is our answer. What does it offer? Animal sacrifice. You can see the labels where the pens and the altar are seated. Passengers can enjoy the standard service and even pay for extra ceremonies up to the great hecatomb. Or, if they're worried more about the end than the middle, they can call on our registered haruspices to get an inkling of the future."
Shares of McHale Transportation dipped 27% upon the announcement. A year later, when safety statics compiled by governments, industry observers, and hobbyist groups were reviewed, share prices not only recovered but soared. Moreover, people began to talk seriously.
Finis

Culture's Finite Advance

"Why doesn't anyone visit my museum ships?" The man paced around the room, a significant undertaking given its size.
"They're stupid," someone remarked from a couch.
"Why doesn't anyone visit my museum ships? They are an everlasting archive of human achievement. The entire internet year by year preserved in a series of annual superfreighters stationed beyond orbit so that they can also be reached without being touched by any contaminating updates. My private platform offers a free shuttle service, so it can't be the cost, which is what it usually comes down to. Why doesn't anyone visit my museum ships?"
The earlier speaker shrugged. His analysis had not changed, and his employer did not require flattery, obsequiousness, or false hopes.
Therefore it was in all sincerity that another in the room offered a suggestion. "Advertise more?"
"I put it all over every journal of note, every journal not of note, every public libraryr, university, college, community college . . . You did see to that, didn't you?" A thumb rose above the couch. "There, you see?"
"Maybe more, um, popularly oriented advertising? With logos and taglines and celebrities. 'In space, you finally can has cheezburger.' That sort of thing."
"We can try," the pacer allowed.
Within a month, half the population of Earth had migrated to space colonies to shorten the trip to the museum fleet while half the contemporary internet's pages became abandoned for lack of interest.
Finis

Considering Unconventional Markets

What do you think the market for fantasy and science fiction audio cassettes these days is? What do you mean, none? The rich backstory of Loom was on tape. You think you're better than Loom? What do you mean, yes?

The Upcoming Publishing Trend

Glossy pages but which ones are glossy are random and some of them have signatures from one of the hundred editors who worked on it.

But Once a Year

"Gentlemen! Our unprecedented new advertising campaign." The executive pressed a button on the table. An image appeared behind him of an orbital platform which, even as they watched, began ejecting payloads. "Within one hour, we will have delivered a complimentary bar of soap and a coupon to every household on the planet."
Amid the clapping, one junior executive said, "Now that's what I call a merry Christmas!"
"How so?"
"Well, because it's almost Christmas and we're delivering presents like Santa."
"You mean this has already been done? Why didn't anyone tell me? This is a debacle! Stop the launches!"
It was too late. Christmas had already come.
Finis

The Problem Facing Books Today

They don't have theme songs. They definitely need them.

Speaking of the Xbox 360 Marketplace

Remember when Doritos made a game and it was decent? What an era.

Literature NEEDS This

Books with different printings, each of which only has four-fifths of the words so you have to trade with your friends.

Jump on This Marketing Trend Today

Foil covers! Eh? Eh? You order the latest Tad Williams blockbuster from your favorite distribution platform and have a 6% chance of getting a sick foil copy. Tell me you wouldn't buy at least twenty copies so I can question your honesty.