Addendum

The captain's job will of course to be handsome and invite people to dinner. It's not like there will be much else to do in space. "Captain, we had to wake you! Something came up!" Nothing will come up.

The Psychology of Space Travel

In the future when we (and I do mean we, radical-life-extension brothers and sisters) can enjoy leisurely spaceship cruises, will the captain sometimes mess with the temperature because people get all weird when the weather's too constant? No. It will be a separate officer whose job that is.

The Fly's Gratitude

One day the great progenitor came upon the fly in distress. "Help me!" it cried. "I'm on this weed over here but I want to be on that one!"
The great progenitor, wise, with no thought of gain, suggested, "Have you tried flying there?"
The fly did so and was amazed at the success of the plan. "Thank you! Someday I'll come to your aid in return!"
"In what way could you ever aid me?"
"I don't know!"
Ever since then flies have flitted about us, hoping one day to be of use.
Finis

The Impracticality of Space Battle

Given the industrial capacity of interstellar empires, they'll run out of cities after which to name their ships, and then what?

The Impracticality of Space Travel

When people are on their big spaceliners and such, how are they going to get the paper delivered? Hyper-fast delivery boys earning their first Federation credits? Probably, yeah, now that I think about it.

Unbelievable Settings

You might think you're clever, having cats be entirely absent from your world. The problem is that people instinctively reject utopias.

Addendum

If you're wondering what kind of circle of mages would develop such a thing, probably one with access to the internet, to wit, time-travelers. Whether they're traveling forward or backward is beyond me to say.

Practicality vs. Theatricality

I'm not sure a form of magic that involves tinting glass with spells that explode when activated is financially responsible, but the 5-minute animated shorts will be tremendous.

Unicorn Hierarchy

Do you suppose killing the master unicorn will change all the unicorns it turned back into regular horses? I think that might be too optimistic.

Immortal Accommodations

"As for where we go after death and what we do, there is nothing but mystery," the wise man finished.
The listening king thought that over. "We are guilty of an oversight then if we, who have been sure to provide for our living subjects, fail to do the same for our dead. We must set off a park for them alone we will call "heaven" and furnish it. What do the dead like to have?"
Without any pause such as a less thoughtful man might have needed, the wise man said, "Your Majesty, it is universally observed that the corpse grows cold and hard. Unquestionably a warm bath would soothe them handsomely."
"Very good. We will have a warm bath put in and beside it, on tables, bowls of porridge easy in the eating."
All this was done, and soon the dead visited heaven, not only those of the kingdom but from without also. Even when the king imposed a fee on the foreign dead, that did not deter them. The removal of currency worried other rulers with the result that they forbade their dead the journey, but the people revolted over it. In the end they made their own heavens and each land had its own, and later each town as well, funded by its guilds.
Finis

Thoughts on Age of Empires

You know, I'm starting to think there's a particular age of empires at all! It seems like we've had empires for a long time! Unless we are to reckon humanity's entire existence the age of empires. That's pretty deep.

Only One Way Exists to Save the Industry

We have to rely on a combination of digital editing and book-altering nanomachines to make all the old books worse so people will buy the new books. Some of you may say the solution is to write good books. That worked about fifty years ago, but the number of good books has become such that the probability that a good book is new has fallen to MMORPG-rare-drop levels. Some of you may say that's irrelevant even if true because prospective buyers aren't choosing from the total pool of good books. That was the case up till you could ask AI chatbots what the good books are. The odds and the technology have changed; our strategy must change too.

A Future Story

One day, culinary historians will discover people of our era used cookie dough to make cookies. The public will not believe it. Eventually everyone on the internet will come to believe we never ate cookie dough directly. That's just how the world will continue to be.

More Like Final Fantasy Temporarily Crisis!

I know there's something better in there, but I haven't figured it out. Anyway, buck up, evercrisisters. We'll always have our memories.

Currency Complications

When you make up your fantasy currency, potch for example, it can be awkward to inform the reader what it means. "I had to pay 1,000 potch, which is approximately two chickens and a bag of pine needles," someone might say but probably wouldn't. When this happens, remember that the audience isn't always as attached to maintaining an in-universe perspective as the writer. Try this: "He paid 1,000 potch (this is exorbitant)." There, everything's settled.

Time Grime

The first wizards who figure out long-distance communication time differences are going to be thrown for a loop. They're going to end up working up huge tables full of wizard towers with times listed till some genius figures out a system. That system will probably not be time zones, but if they are, they'll be named after gods or guardian beasts or something.

An Echo of Two Thousand Years

Ennraeso paused before the gap in the unearthed wall, overcome. "Gentlemen. It was our grandfathers who began the work of deciphering the Yuyingi script unread for over two thousand years. It was our fathers who scoured the land and wandered through documents in their search for remains of that civilization formerly sorted among the annals of fancy rather than history. It is we who will consummate the great endeavor."
Terefesso, Uillanso, Iflenso, and Raalhu bowed their heads as if they only then felt the weight of their inheritance despite having contributed to it themselves through worthy exertions. The other men felt nothing of the momentary emotion, but as laborers they understood the satisfaction at the end of a long job done ably.
At last Ennraeso's agitation settled and he penetrated a silence older than history. His pace was steady and his direction sure despite the obscurations of time. The settlement had been small and built for a simple purpose, that of providing what Vgounde's limitless genius required. Nowhere but the center could have been allotted for the residence of that peerless master of wisdom and every elevated art.
Inside Vgounde's study, what they expected, what they hoped, what they yearned to find, they found. Text, inscribed in the walls, etched in tablets, and written on scrolls, everywhere text in the Yuyingi script so long lost but now reclaimed. Ennraeso, his belly a battlefield between hesitation and eagerness, took hold of a scroll and manfully unrolled it.
"I, Vgounde, leave this message for the one who will read this two thousand, three hundred eight years from today. Ahaha, what are you doing, man? Hardly anyone can read this stuff right now while I'm alive. Yeesh! Why should they learn? So they read out temple accounts when the girls pass by on the way to the well? Pfft. That doesn't impress our ladies, Ennraeso, and not yours either. I have foreseen this.
"Listen, brother. Listen. It's not too late to learn a real skill. Try saddle-making. We don't even have saddles! That's how dumb we are! You want to benefit from our ancient knowledge? Ain't got none, hahaha. Whew! What a waste of time.
"I feel bad for you, I really do, so I left one little bit of magic we have that you don't in this room. You don't need it yourself, but in eighty-three years people will think of you sometimes. All right, I have to be a little honest here or the gods will take away my gifts. They're going to declare you an unequaled benefactor of mankind and the model for all scholars. No, really, they will, but brother, this is it. You can already read enough. Now get out there and pick up an instrument. One of those deals with a bunch of parts we don't have words for. We've just got wood with holes in it, man! Haha, have a good evening, Ennraeso! Oh, by the way, your butler has already sold off most of your silver. You got pewter in those cabinets, brother."
"I thought so. I must send a letter to dismiss him," Ennraeso said, unruffled.
Finis

Happy Fourth of July

And always remember that if you put a country like the United States of America in your fantasy or science fiction novel, people would say it's unrealistic. People to whom you should not listen. They don't want your story to be interesting.

Pegasus Maintenance

Nobody wants to talk or even think about it, but the fact is, if you're counting on your flying horses to perform at their best, your people will need to get them to drop off their loads before they take to the air. Fortunately, there are always young recruits to do it. It's a priceless learning experience, they'll be told. The best part is they know they'd better pretend to agree unless they're in love with unemployment.

Social Commentary Opportunity

It's almost the Fourth of July, and that means it's time to write about a dystopian future or alternative timeline in which fireworks are banned. Could you imagine such a thing?

Adaptation Station

I overheard your muttering. "I wonder what sort of video game Clark Ashton Smith's tales should be converted into." The answer is Diablo-clone. You're welcome.

Thoughts on The LIes of Locke Lamora

Had the title been Father Chains's Big Score, I probably would have read the whole thing. I'm treating "Father Chains" as a name rather than considering the components here, by the way.