Genuine Contributions of Ancient Astronauts

Everybody's always going on about pyramids and such, but what are the chances those helpful old aliens imported chickens, horses, wheat, and good stuff of that sort? And durian as a prank. I think parsley is probably native though. It's nice to have, but who would think to move it around?

Addendum

Just because something doesn't get much current discussion doesn't mean it can't curse you. This is general life advice.

Ancient Fashion

People used to talk about pyramids all the time. They wouldn't shut up. Then they stopped, but then they started again, but now nobody talks about pyramids. Don't be fooled, though. They still visit the silly things. From this I conclude the popularity of pyramids is perennial. The lesson here is that fashion applies to fashion itself; pyramids are fashionable, but talking about how fashionable they are is not. Sometimes Stonehenge is on top, sometimes this, sometimes that. As for the significance, I dunno. Keep it in mind. Someday the rewards could be staggering.

Interregnum

The clouds before the sun proved the king was dead, and the keening in the city confirmed it. Who did not mourn? Even the river ceased in its course for an hour, unwilling to flow as the king's blood did.
The council chose a regent, who wore the mask and the cloak so no god would glance that way and think him a king. He arranged the effort. One crew set out to establish camps along the way while a second began the road to the chosen pyramid. Priests blessed every step of the route. The rich sacrificed and the poor prayed that the pyramid held an excellent king inside.
Pessimists instead called the people to think what would become of them when the pyramids were all demolished, plundered for their kings. Once there had been forty; now eight. Did the end of the kingdom wait after those eight generations?
Not so, said the new king. Soon they would learn to build pyramids again. A river might cease for an hour, but not longer.
Finis

To See the Future Is to Conquer It

The astrologers claimed the world would change, that the heavens would treat them differently, and the great king listened. He thought, he mused, and he pondered till the gods spoke to him.
He commanded a great work. The cleverest designed it, the wealthiest funded it, and the strongest carried it out. For years blocks were cut, hauled, and set in place so that above the groaning plain rose the pyramid, the answer to the certain prophecy.
When the work was done, the great king himself ascended to the very apex. None of his counselors did he permit there to attend him. He waited, he waited, and he waited.
Then, at last, clouds gathered and for the first time gave the land snow. And the great king was the first of thousands to sled down the pyramid, which was so rad he had it written on pillars in order that all who read of his feat throughout the ages might know how totally sick it was.
Finis

Innovative Idea Do Not Steal

A dungeon that's actually a dungeon. I'm not sure that's a good place to have adventures, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.