Tip for Getting Story Ideas

Keep a notebook by your bed so that when you dream, you can drool onto the notebook and then turn the marks into a monster for your next story. Or an alien who doesn't know what love is, genre depending.

Streamlining the Conceptual Process

When you're coming up with ideas for you next story, just brainwashing away, if you ever accidentally write "explore" or "interrogate" without immediately following that with some fantasy name, cross it out and write, "What if Al Capone was a dragon?" Then underline "dragon" thrice and run your pink highlighter over the entire question except that word "a."

Redundant Subgenres

Someone tried to sell me on ramppunk, and I said, "At that point, just make it mummypunk." He did, and now he's a millionaire. Don't tell anyone your ideas outside of your memoirs.

Q&A Corner

Q. How do I come up with ideas for my new story?
A. Go on the internet, find stuff people say they're sick of, and put that in. They're sick of it because they keep reading it, after all.