Q&A Corner

Q. When should I use meed and when should I use guerdon?
A. If you're using either, you no longer care what people think.
Q. I have a similar question about raiment and habiliments.
A. I have a similar answer.

Wisdom Hidden in Remote Cavities

In accordance with custom, the aspirant upon returning to his homeland stood in the square to answer questions about his endeavor.
"Did you succeed in learning the oyster magic, and can you make pearls for us?"
"I learned everything there is, little in fact. The oyster magic causes a feeling of irritation without extending to pearl formation."
"That is no different from your usual attitude. Has the magic enabled other abilities?"
"Certainly. The general mending, the destructive spurt, the imparted lightness of motion, the specialized mending of sores, the—"
"What oyster can do those things? I doubt your claim."
"What man or woman can, and yet the human magic involves these same techniques."
"Well, I am convinced your journey was worthwhile. I perceive the sentiment is universal. Your enrollment as a citizen is assured."
"Thank you. You nincompoop."
"Wait for the enrollment to say that to a citizen."
"It is the irritation, you see."
"Certainly."
Finis

Fantasy Travel Question

Q. Can riding a dragon or pegasus cause jet lag?
A. No. Dragons and pegasoi never submit to being ridden by someone who might succumb to jet lag.
Q. Suppose however that a passenger is suffered to come along. A rescued princess, perchance.
A. In that case, yes, but the problem can be resolved by curative magic of Rank D or better.

Monster Q&A Corner

Q. Why are centaurs partly human?
A. The human ones killed all the goblin ones. Don't feel too bad for them, though. They took out the lizard ones first.
Q. Why are manticores seldom depicted with human faces?
A. Because it looks dumb. God Emperor of Dune is a similar case.
Q. Aren't most manticores in fiction really just chimeras?
A. Hold on, let's not pass over "in fiction." Or "really." Tell us what you know.
Q. Gotta go!

Q&A Corner

Q. Why is it the Enchanter's Moon and not the Enchantment Moon?
A. Euphony.
Q. Does that answer really explain anything?
A. Without taste, it cannot be heard.

Adaptation Corner

Q. What's the best way to adapt The Skylark of Space?
A. Pinball game.

Q&A Corner

Q. How many children does the average adult have?
A. None.
Q. Population growth is rough these days. What about in vaguely medieval times?
A. Still none, unless you want to come up with names and descriptions for all of them.

Q&A Corner

Q. Why don't more main characters have wings?
A. Cowardice.
Q. How about gills?
A. Waterworld.
Q. And antennae?
A. Antennae are failed horns.

Infinity Strash

Q. Infinity Strash?
A. Infinity Strash.

Literary Advice Q&A

Q. How do I show my main character's development?
A. Give him two swords.
Q. He already has two.
A. Take away one.
Q. What if he's an archer?
A. Give him two quivers. Then it's a reference, too.

Addendum

"Q" and "A" in the previous post stand for Quentin and Adam, of course.

The Rules Are Simple

Q. Can my main character have a head maid instead of a butler?
A. No. A head maid alongside a butler is permissible however.
Q. But I really want a maid and not a butler.
A. Have you considered having the butler be a woman in disguise?
Q. Fantastic!

Miltary Rank Q&A

Q. What about the lower ranks?
A. Oh no! I forgot!

Q&A Corner

Q. Should the main character's butler go on adventures with the main character or not?
A. Both are acceptable.
Q. Might we replace the butler with a head maid?
A. Certainly.
Q. My, there's certainly a great deal of flexibility in this concept.
A. Go forth and take advantage!

Score Tour

Q. What sort of music should a Mistborn adaptation have?
A. Drum and bass.
Q. Dragon Riders of Pern?
A. Trance with a harp in it.
Q. Starfishers?
A. 90s dance.

Q&A Corner Continued

Q. I want to write about a bunch of no-goods, but I still want the readers not to turn away in disgust. What do I do?
A. Every once in awhile, have somebody remind them to act righteously.
Q. Do they have to follow up by acting righteously?
A. Oh, goodness no.

Q&A Corner

Q. How many characters should my book have before I start working on villains and minor characters?
A. 108.
Q. That seems high.
A. That isn't a question.

Q&A Corner

Q. This noble character should probably have lots of middle names, but I'm pretty sure my readers will sooner watch the new Amazon TV show than read them all. What should I do?
A. Write science fiction instead.
Q. The problem will persist in space.
A. Don't let Spaniards into space.
Q. Too late for that.
A. Then all is lost.

Q&A Corner

Q. What would a country without a strong naval tradition call spaceships?
A. Starwagons.

Frequently Asked Questions in a Parallel Dimension

Q. Can sand magic control time?
A. Can cartographers control geology?
Q. They can in this parallel dimension.