Turning Your Series Around

Instead of calling your show The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Season 2 and The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Season 3, call it Rings of Wisdom and Rings of Courage, and also put out a breakfast cereal based on it. People don't have to watch your show, but they do have to eat.

A Startling Realization

Where are the Lord of Rings: Rings of the Rings and Game of Thrones Zero games? You know, the platformer where Galadriel has to jump around and collect whatsits and gizamagoos, or that PS3 gyro dragon game but with FMV cutscenes? People still like money, right?

Rings of Power Update

Does that count as a clickbait headline? Interest seems to be waning rapidly. I still haven't seen it of course, but here's my opinion: Icewind Dale is better than Baldur's Gate.

What Would Have Increased the Appeal of That Amazon Show?

Tolkien-themed rock opera. Those fools.

Q&A Corner

Q. This noble character should probably have lots of middle names, but I'm pretty sure my readers will sooner watch the new Amazon TV show than read them all. What should I do?
A. Write science fiction instead.
Q. The problem will persist in space.
A. Don't let Spaniards into space.
Q. Too late for that.
A. Then all is lost.

The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power Complete Review and Analysis.

Didn't watch it, so I'm going to talk about Pathfinder: Kingmaker instead. It's good, but it should have dropped the kingmaking and been about half as long after that excision. Also, the way some of the companions get involved is odd. Early spoilers!




Harrim wanted to unseat the Stag Lord and become a baron? Really? Harrim? That guy? Him? It makes sense that nobody seems to mind that you get to be the baron. They don't seem to be the sort to want that in the first place. But then why are they there?

A Note on Fantasy Adaptations

An opinion is making the rounds that holds fantasy series should be adapted into animated series. This is incorrect. They should all be FMV games.

Adaptation Quiz

If you're so smart, what sort of videogame would be best to adapt the new Lord of the Rings show? Look down for the answer.






Digital board game.

Adaptation Stagnation

If you don't want to adapt the actual thing, fine. Well, it isn't fine, but let's take that it for granted that you don't wanna. In that case, if you don't feel bound by anything, go nuts. Change everything. Put in a dragon that's, like, three dragons, man. Have Numenor and Lemuria launching ICBMs at each other. Elf pirate with a sophisticated parrot. Daleks show up. Anything. Who are these people who just want the source material except much worse? Make your creative liberties creative.

Lord of the Rings: Triumph of the Evil Power Master's Sinister Rings Trailer Review

Didn't watch it/10. I'll just agree with your opinion, if you don't mind.

Trivia Corner

A Lord of the Rings prequel is in produciton, but did you know that every single story that takes place on Earth is a Lord of the Rings sequel?

Big News!

The Lord of the Rings: War of the Evil Power Master is coming! No matter how much we tried to stop it! We are undone!

The Problematic Nature of Wheel of Time's TV Adaptation as of Episode 1

The erasure of Toms continues.

The Fundamentals

Not even a Middle Earth side-scrolling platformer where you wander around open levels until you collect 100 rings!

Priorities

They're making some Middle Earth TV show when they haven't even made a Middle Earth city builder or Middle Earth The Sims yet. What's the big idea?

The Perils of Popularity

Of course the characters who get in first would end up being the worst. Aragon would be a damage dealer with a weak heal clogging up his skills and what's the point? Daggers would be so weak that Paul Atreides would be crippled. Elric would have some weird thing that needs him to take damage to raise his damage that would be totally impractical until Summer Barbarella came out. I get excited just thinking about it.

Social Revolution

It's well past time to rescind the copyright on all fantasy and scifi works before 2001 so somebody can make a sick unlicensed crossover gacha game.

On Melancholy

The Lord of the Rings is suffused with melancholy. It is the story of a fading world. Even if Sauron is defeated, which not many think possible, what comes after him will be less though better. It's full of loss and wounds that never fully heal.

Most of the Tolkien imitators lacked that atmosphere, whether because they didn't notice it, were incapable of replicating it, or simply didn't want it. Nevertheless, few had anything like it and fewer replaced it.

Robert Jordan replaced it. The Wheel of Time is not steeped in melancholy. It is not missing melancholy. It is something else entirely. It is lively and vibrant and action-packed. There are thrilling boss battles, and not just the ones seen directly in the books. There are heroes of legends being reborn all the time and redoing their timeless deeds. There is history told as stories rather than as poems, recalled with excitement rather than nostalgia.

All that makes The Wheel of Time an obvious choice for adaptation into more visceral media, but there was only one videogame made out of it. Meanwhile, The Lord of the Rings has had all sorts of movies and games. Allegedly.

If we consider the atmosphere of those adaptations and on what aspects they concentrate, we might wonder if they are adaptations of The Lord of the Rings at all. We may wonder if they are not in fact The Wheel of Time with the names changed.

I mean, I don't wonder that. I'm saying it. Here. So y'know.

Discussion Prompt

Most Lord of the Rings movies and games are secretly Wheel of Time adaptations. Discuss.

Back to Basics

Some works become discussed so much the participants come to know the work as discussed rather than the work as written, which can be something else entirely. How many people think the Iliad had a wooden horse in it or are sure The Lord of the Rings is long? How many people remember that time King Arthur conquered the Roman Empire? Even the Romans didn't remember that.

That's why we should read the works as written from time to time and come to fresh conclusions, such as this: Arthurian stories are much better when Lancelot isn't in them.