The Full History of the Goblin Kingdom

The goblin warriors took up arms when the invader came to their lair with the readiness of creatures who have no other occupation.
The trespasser, mighty in his arms but alone, bellowed, "I will slay the goblin king!"
The goblins, in their strange language, bellowed back, "We don't have one!"
"Don't know what it is!"
"Oh? Then I will teach you," the man said, and he was as good as his word. Delighted by his explanation, the goblins chose one to rule whom the warrior promptly slew before retiring during the royal funeral he had also explained.
The next day brought another assault, and despite their previous gratitude for his instruction, the goblins did not recognize the man who called out, "Today I will slay the goblin queen!"
"We don't have one!"
"Don't know what it is!"
Similar events followed, and when on the next day the warrior returned for the head of the goblin cardinal, the sole difference was the complexity of the explanation. After that came the chamberlain, then the marshal, then the head gardener, and so on. Each new position intrigued the goblins.
Months later, against expectations, a single man claimed the bounty for the eradication of the goblin tribe. Even less to be foreseen, his claim proved upon investigation to be true. In addition to the bounty, the lord made the man a baron under him, so impressed was he, and the new baron named his manor the House of Patterns Unrecognized in commemoration of his exploits.
Finis

Addendum

Accordingly, instead of starship captains we'll have counts, except we'll call them earls 'cause we ain't soft. Those are the smaller ships of course, while the Austria-sized ones will be classed as duchies. Not grand duchies. Those will be far bigger.

The True Potential of Space Militarization

We finally have a chance to get rid of all the dumb ranks like colonel, major, general, and now that I think about it, what are the good ones? Sergeant and captain? Any others? Commodore is all right.

Furor and Nobility

The page sent to investigate the dismal clouds hanging over the route returned with his report too late to save his master the trouble of mounting but comfortably in time to avert disaster. "Your Lordship, please stop! The rain is a very flood, and the storm barons smite the wetted earth with their terrible bolts!"
"What of it, if barons have their trifling sport? We who have higher duties are not dissuaded from touring our lands by that." Saying that, Count Fandeghen rode forward. He dismissed his retinue, but no other concession did he make.
The tempest did not prove the page a liar, nor did it dissuade the count. The missiles of the storm barons struck the ground closer and closer, and never did he honor them with his attention till his steed forced the issue, for it shied when a bolt came too close for its animal courage to bear. The rider wrested his horse back to placidity, but he himself was wroth. He dismounted and declared this.
"The fright you caused my beast will have its consequence, vassal!" He stretched his great bow and loosed a shaft upward to the bolt's originating point. The roar which followed was not thunder. Soon the wounded storm baron appeared and gave notice of challenge by raising his furious mace.
The battle ended this way, that Count Fandeghen was too much for any baron of whatever realm. He pinned his foe to the ground and made of him a prisoner. The ransom the count gained was seven talents of silver, for that baron's bolt forked seven times, and a fulgent lance difficult to withstand on the battlefield. If you go to the current count and ask to see it you will be refused, for the grandson of the man who won it gave it as a gift to a knight who did him great service, and that was well done.
Finis

Dune's Biggest Flaw

Baron isn't even a high rank. The Harkonnens must be small-time. I can't take them seriously as antagonists.

Thoughts on SD Gundam G Generation Eternal

By the time you finish reading the title, your AP will be full again. Truly Eternal/10.

The Latest Release

Aside from anything else, is Assassin's Creed: Shadows a good title? It doesn't tell you much, not that many of those titles do. Odyssey, Valhalla, and Black Flag give us a sense of the setting, which is why I can remember them. I'm not sure it's important that we remember them, but the real problem with Shadows is that it sounds like it could easily be a spinoff, possibly a mobile game.

Unsolved Mysteries

All these years later and we still don't know why he called it Ivanhoe. Why not Wilfrid Goes Bananas! or That Time Richard I Was Away for A While? Wilrid's barely even the main character anyway.

On Path of Exile 2

How many crimes did this dude commit to get exiled twice? Yeesh! Anyway, I hope you got to login.

Addendum

To fit in with Wizardry tradition, it should be Enhpad.

Burning Wizardry Question

Daphne?

Proper Halloween Titles

Sure you want to have skeleton kings and vampire kings, but is king a scary title? How about kaiser, doge, pharaoh, or potentate? Really it's just kaiser, but I wanted to see how the others look in print. Very plain. My goosebumps are gooseflat.

How to Name Your Chapters

In this fast-paced, born-late-die-early-supernova world, what readers want is for the chapter title to say exactly what's going to happen so they don't have to read the rest of it. Studies have shown that nobody likes reading anyway.

Appealing to Different Markets

Suppose you have a game called Country of Dragons and you want to sell it in English-speaking nations. A little research will show you the English don't care for either dragons or countries. They like empire, tea, and guardians, so call it Guardians of Azuma. Many overlook this important step in releasing your product.

Reflections on the End of Service Announcement for Alice Fiction

It should have been some unbearably twee novel that people recommend for three months before everybody forgets it exists.

Reflections on the End of Service Announcement for Brave Nine

It really should have been a baseball game. After they changed the title, at least.

Titles

Is there a weaker title than baronet? I bet baronets get bullied by everybody in public except pages, who do it in private. Baronet. Yeesh. Lesser Baron would be far better.

Capitalization Condemnation

Title capitalization. It's stupid. "Of" and "and" are crucial words! Why shouldn't we capitalize them? Just capitalize everything. That's the better way. I may have said this before. Maybe I should make it a monthly post. Hourly? That's how things get done.

Musings on the Past

There was a time when you could call your game Hydlide, and not only would you not be arrested, people would buy it. Goodness gracious.

Thoughts on Millennia

I mean the hot new strategy game, which you might not know, because it's called Millennia. In the modern era, don't you have departments to make sure your game's title is reasonably searchable? I haven't played it, so that's my only thought.