Appropriate Cast Size for a Novel

It was 108 centuries ago, and that was just the heroes.* Aren't you ashamed if you have fewer than 1,080 today?



*Or "heroes," if you prefer.

Writing a Proper Epilogue

Be sure to include the fact that every character dies within twenty years, ideally ten. Readers love that.

A Productive Plot Development

Worried about how to carry on an ongoing story? Have the main character or another major character grow wings. Think of the possibilities, and don't think of a justification, because nobody cares.

Character Description Reminder

Don't forget you can describe how loud different characters sneeze. But you probably shouldn't. Mostly.

The True Test of Empathy

How bad do you think elves are at writing human characters? The worst part is probably that one of them got a reputation for writing good humans and other elves just repeat that because they heard it once, but really that one is the worst at it. They seem more sympathetic because they aren't even trying to be anything but elves with round ears.

Describing Your Main Character

It's tricky, isn't it? Red hair or fiery red? Flashing eyes, glinting eyes, sparkling eyes, piercing eyes? That's what you might think, but you're wrong. The answer is "heroic." Heroic hair, heroic eyes, a heroic build and heroic height, heroic hands which end in heroic figures. Nobody actually pictures this stuff, they just want to know the guy's role in the story so they know whether to cast Sean Connery or old Sean Connery.

Addendum

Now Biffany, on the other hand. Its age has just begun. See, when you write a sequel to a series which has a character named Tiffany, that's the kind of maneuver you need to be able to make.

Apocalyptic Thinking

We've had the post-apocalypse, we've had the pre-apocalypse, but what about the pro-apocalypse? Sometimes you just gotta clear some stuff out. For instance, suppose the dark lord won and controls the eight pillars, or maybe the author added a character the audience doesn't like. We have to get past this kneejerk response that the apocalypse is bad.

Addendum

And blood type, height, likes, and dislikes.

About Character Descriptions

Bad: "He was wearing leather gloves."
Good: "His leather gloves had spikes coming out of them that glowed with demon poison that dripped to the earth and scarred it forevermore."
Bad: "The man looked to be about twenty-four."
Good: "The man stood among twenty-four corpses, a number the same as his age."
Bad: "Her eyes, one green, one blue, blinked."
Good: "The apocalypse had already begun."

The Difference Between Boats and Ships

Ships are what people will say about your characters, and BOAT (Best of All Time) is what you wish they would say.

Addendum

Researchers testing a bookt that shocked readers who liked the wrong characters were themselves shocked to have all the test subjects die.