Aliens Who Are Great at TV

The reason we haven't seen evidence of intelligent extraterrestrial life is that their TV shows are way to good for them to start thinking maybe watching somebody land on the moon would be a better broadcast. When you think about it, it makes us seem kind of uncreative, really. It would be more impressive if somebody had faked it.

Tiny Aliens

The reason we haven't seen any evidence of extraterrestrial intelligent life is that they're too tiny. A hula hoop is a Dyson sphere to these people. They think a thimble is an impregnable fortress.

Big Aliens

The reason we haven't seen any evidence of intelligent alien life in the universe is that they're too big to fit in a spaceship. It's a real problem.

Addendum

Unless . . . they already have. Dun dun dun!

Important Precautions

When we find alien life forms, it is of paramount importance that we not interfere with their development. Otherwise, they'll take over the Youtube comments.

The Search for Intelligent Life

"The final summary of the complete catalogue is here, sir." The official ran his eyes over the summary and looked up. "Bad news, sir. They're all morons."
"Hmph. You're sure?"
"It says here the plinath are stupid, the shbors are dummies, and the nmnr think logic is a kind of food."
The director of the Extraterrestrial Sentients Affairs Department ran a hand through his gray hair. "We've finally explored the entire galaxy. There have to be some."
His subordinate looked back to the summary. "The hksaluderu just last month managed to put a roof on a house after centuries of careful consideration. The lphops ritually purify themselves if they accidentally come up with an idea. The fosorosons have proved to be generally unintelligent."
The director sighed. "So that's it. Humans are the only truly intelligent life in the galaxy. There's only one thing we can do now." He stood and planted his left hand on his desk while clenching the right. "Run our observational footage of these clowns twenty-four-seven to make people laugh."