Battle Statue War Record

Year 1
"I have succeeded in animating a statue capable of replicating any human action while being tireless and hardy beyond flesh. Soon legions of battle statues will humble my neighboring wizard-kings, just so soon as I produce a sufficient force."

Year 3
"The quarrying is going well. My menial statues are superior to human workers when properly supervised. Of course I must hire competent supervisors, but money is easily at hand; a portion of the yield can be sold abroad."

Year 7
"By now, half the carriage drivers in the region are my statues, except in those city-states which prohibit them. Don't they know battle statues and the menial type are completely different? But then, how could they? Only I know the secret. Unfortunately, current designs lack the delicacy required for fruit-picking, but the stevedores are coming along excellently."

Year 28
"For now I have delegated governance and research in favor of training new sculptors, though I am unsure I will resume those pursuits afterward. My current interests lean more toward selecting personnel for the proposed branch offices and ensuring the materials for my new mansion justify the asserted prices. Lately I have had a feeling of neglecting some plan, but it would be more surprising if such were not the case. My conceptions are endless, and despite how the payroll has grown, I have never been busier. I can barely find time to add to this journal, let alone read it. Perhaps I should hire someone, but anyone competent is needed for a dozen roles of greater importance."
Finis

The Future of Theater

Little robot fellas performing plays on your dinner table while you eat. They get the scripts from the cloud, which is a very futuristic place, and they provide their own music and sound effects on separate channels from that which their voices use.

The Challenges of Spaceflight

The matchmaking pool for games and sports will be alarmingly small. We'd better improve our bot technology for several definitions of "bot."

Some Science Fiction to Fantasy Conversions

Ship -> Spaceship
Deadly forest -> Asteroid belt
Dragon -> Evil corporation
Cleric -> Clerk
Magic sword -> Prototype
Intelligent talking familiar -> Robot buddy
Wizard -> Space wizard

The Varieties of Maids

1. Clumsy
2. Hyper-competent
3. Gossipy
4. Found the body
5. Loyal
6. Saucy
7. Tyrannical
8. Naive
9. Not actually a maid
10. Flirty
11. Intelligent talking animal
12. Gambling tipster
13. Assassin
14. Unscrupulous
15. Wise in herbal remedies
16. Believes in ghosts
17. Mad scientist
18. Artificial
19. High-level
20. Engaged

Now get out your randomization method of choice. But wait! The discerning reader has already noticed most of these are mutually compatible, while the especially discerning knows all of them are, the first two most of all. Therefore randomize yourself how many traits to assign. I recommend no more than three, duplicates allowed.

Addendum

Or squash. Those people have money also. Don't bother with skating, though. In the first place, Bionic Lester covered that ages ago.

So why was he called Bionic Lester? Does anyone know? I just don't get it.

The Future of AI

We must make robots convincingly just good enough at golf not to slow down traffic but bad enough that our rich people and celebrities can beat them. Then we'll be rolling in dough.

Sport and Discovery

"Lines out!"
With those words, fishing season began. Anglers lowered their microfilament lines from the orbital station down, down to the planet that was mostly ocean and most of that stocked with fish. They triggered their rocket hooks when the sensor detected a nibble. Each had a bucket for the worthwhile catches, and as for the small fry, the atmosphere filled with the burning husks of fish that had to be thrown back.
The laughing, the bragging, the broken lines and the lies about old catches attracted people to orbital fishing as much as the sport proper. That season, however, the sport asserted itself.
"Whoa! This one's a bit much." A mild statement that came across as a desperate plea because of being voiced at all, and accurately at that. Anglers rushed to help. Assist robots glided over. Everyone's strength and everyone's hooks were required, and soon they saw why.
A gigantic serpent rose from the ocean against its will, its tremendous might, and its unbelievable mass, for the thing encircled the entire world.
"Ha! How about that? I guess Earth's myths are based on ancient aliens after all."
"I owe some people I argued with some apologies when I get back."
"Who can recommend some good books on the subject?"
Amid merry talk like that the participants raised up the world serpent, and the meal that night was unforgettable.
Finis