Sunday, June 19, 2022

Difficult Moral Questions

The hero and his wary companions crouched down to pass through the portal, half-blocked by a half-fallen column. The space within, once a chamber of a tall and sprawling palace but now more appropriately called a den.
"What kind of sage lives here?" the warrior wondered.
"This kind!" The dust itself seemed to lift from the floor's cracked tiles and became a mist. Out of it walked a man, robed and menacing in his dark power. "I am the sage you seek. The last sage of evil in all the world. And the wisdom you are to hear from me is to be careful of your actions and how far you go. There is a balance in this world, a balance of good and evil. You must not wipe out evil from the world!"
The hero gasped. "Why?"
"Because I would get lonely. There are hardly any evil people around as it is. Imagine if nobody else used swords. Nobody would understand why you think better swords are a big deal. Shops would stop selling them!"
"That does sound bad for you, but I think the world as a whole will get by," the healer mused.
"And, on top of that, can't you just get a hobby?" the lovable rogue asked. "Like gardening or polo. People are doing a lot with astronomy these days, right? You can have interests other than just being evil. That actually sounds pretty boring. Do you really talk about how evil you are with other people?"
The sage of terror examined his nails. "I used to, but you killed most of them. Not that they didn't deserve it, but you know how it is. Besides, I have no need for advice from you. I'm a sage. Obviously I already attended several meetings of a society of percussion enthusiasts, but I had to stop. I feared I was becoming less evil."
"Isn't that good? To be good?" the healer asked.
"No, because of the balance."

And when all the evil power was destroyed and the recreational glassblowing scene grew so big that it was all the last evil sage could do to keep up with it, leaving him no time for evil, the world did just fine. Better than ever, as it happened.
Finis

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