An Everyday Incident, Oddly

A man with hopes was hurrying along the road, but not with such hurry that he continued under the sudden rain. He found a shed at some distance from which he might wait it out, apologizing to the owner for any mess silently and remotely.
From the half-open door he could see the road and far beyond, then the road, then little at all, so thick was the rain and so dark the clouds which made the day a second night. Therefore he doubted he saw a company march down the road opposite his former direction; he doubted, but he shrank back and closed the door by a quarter. He was not so disturbed that he stopped watching.
He doubted even more his interpretation of what succeeded, for he thought that the figures (to call them "people" seemed a presumption) produced shovels or trowels and dug into the road, whereupon one brought forward a sapling and set it there. The figures joined in patting down the upturned soil though the road was paved. They then stood back.
The sapling grew swiftly into a full tree, or something with branches, and the figures waited under those branches, arms upstretched, save for one among them who withdrew a few paces. Above the waiting planters, nuts grew, and then the nuts were swords, and then the swords fell to impale the figures below. But not the one who withdrew; to him the tree bowed. The lone figure stepped forward, removed something from the crown of the tree, turned, and returned up the road. Behind him, the tree bowed lower, touched the ground, and dissolved.
The man, hopeful but not audacious, did not stir till the clouds cleared, or for a time after, but everyone must see to his own affairs. He went on. When first he came across another person, a local he supposed, he wondered whether to inquire about the scene. A decision however was unneeded, for somewhere in his manner or voice as he greeted the local was cause for the latter to smile and ask, "You've had a time, haven't you? Was it the tree, the procession? Else?"
"It may have been a tree."
"Ha! That's the right way to put it."
The local passed by, laughing. Perceiving he intended to say nothing more, the man tried to continue the conversation but had this as the response. "No, it's good news! Good news for you, be glad, but you have to keep going!"
The man did reach his destination. There he did receive the position he hoped to have. Whether the scene during the storm was a portent he never knew, though he thought on it from time to time.
Finis

Makeshift Armorization

One advantage of enchanted greaves is that they can be taken from unusual sources, such as a giant's shinbone or a chunk of the palace of death. Turning a meteorite into a magic sword is one thing, but a bell which is the last remnant of a ruined kingdom? Possible, but take the easy route and get some greaves out of it.

If You're Looking for Sword Names

That Saxo Grammaticus fellow names about five thousand swords in his factual and accurate Danish history, stuff so obscure only Shin Megami Tensei games have cottoned to them.

Examining the Tail

We all know swords are cooler than bows which are cooler than many other things, gardening for instance, but are we misguided in looking at the items alone? The fact of the matter is that blacksmiths are a thousand times cooler than fletchers. The swordsman goes to a dwarf or huge guy and gets his meteorite-derived blade, but whom does the archer patronize? A workshop filled with grumbling children overseen by a sweaty man who considers manual labor beneath him.

The Giants' Fingers

What caused the trembling? Two giants disputed and rocked the earth with their wrestling. They carried on for some time.
"Brother, enough of this."
"I know it. How is this? I see a man there, five miles away. He has a clever face."
The giants Aiks and Eiks gave the man their problem. "We must know who is mightier between us. You know that for giants there is no question of older or younger; we cannot learn from that. We thought to wrestle, but if we use all our strength, there will be no mountains in this country a day longer, a shame!"
"It is lucky you asked me, for I am a blacksmith. Now give me one finger, each of you."
Aiks and Eiks did so. The smith wrought two swords, Aiksfinger and Eiksfinger. He told them to lower their heads, which they did, and hewed them off, each with the sword of the other. Aiksfinger cut through the neck of Eiks in two blows. Aiks lost his head to Eiksfinger in three. The giants set their heads back on their necks and thanked the smith for his help.
The story has wide fame. The man who gains Aiksfinger rejoices greatly. He who has Eiksfinger is cheered little less, for it is keen and good.
Finis

Grappling with Style

1) Ribbon tied around hilt
2) Ribbon tied around glove holding hilt
3) Ribbon tied around blade
4) Sword is an extended ribbon

It's hard to pick the right look, but whichever you choose, carry it through.

Mountains and Stars

When the land was entirely flat, long ago, two clans contested for the rulership. They were the mountains and the stars, the first things that were. Their battles cannot be imagined today, but the result of them can still be seen. The blood shed then became the oceans, the mountains grew mighty, and the stars succumbed to defeat and eternal exile.
From time to time a star tests the fortitude of the mountains and finds it formidable still. Your Exile Sword is made from a brave star's corpse. It has the strength of bravery, but it can never win against a Sovereign Sword made from mountain's metal. Seek the Erosion Sword, hero, but do not be surprised if it is your own life that is worn away.
Finis

Some Science Fiction to Fantasy Conversions

Ship -> Spaceship
Deadly forest -> Asteroid belt
Dragon -> Evil corporation
Cleric -> Clerk
Magic sword -> Prototype
Intelligent talking familiar -> Robot buddy
Wizard -> Space wizard

The Manifold Forms of the Silver Moon

One gentle night, three men relaxed outside of town. Why not? When insects play for the moon's pleasure, how indecorous it to refuse to be entertained.
"The man in the moon carries a pail! I am sure of it." Thus the first said.
"There is no question but that he has with him a gleaming sword." The second had that opinion.
"Naive! He carries nothing of course." The third laughed at the others.
A debate resolved nothing. Each held to his starting opinion as he studied the man in the moon, his stance and his movements. Without words, the three agreed they had discerned the moon's peerless technique and stood. Then that master of the pail, that genius of the sword, and that fist prodigy fell to battle, each against the other two, and who can say which of them won and whether the three attained the lunar perfection for which they yearned?
Finis

Talons of Braves

Near any crossroads must be an establishment to serve travelers, and in any such establishment, should the bold arrive in numbers, boasts will be heard. One day, brave men going in every direction happened to be in one place, so of course one stood and proclaimed the virtues of his arms.
"This sword you see, and this shorter sword, and this shield as well, are in truth a claw's three talons of the formerly fearsome dragon Grand Madness, and this helmet is of his hide. It was the smith Iriklio who made them."
That was a boast impossible to ignore, for five other braves stood and proclaimed their story the same. Moreover, they compared their arms and saw them identical.
"Six sets! How many claws has a dragon, my friends? I think me what is right for us to do is to chastise that Iriklio who mocks his customers!"
That proposal proud on the outside and filled inside with wrath all six accepted. But then, what was that? A clamor outside of yells and screams! They departed and saw this.
A dragon stood, fierce, his wings spread, and named himself. "I am Edge of Terror, vassals, and who bears the dragon's arms, the talons of Grand Madness, today he dies! For I am his son." And he stood on six feet and six claws.
The braves therefore prepared for the fight.
Finis

Ranking of Weapons Appropriate for Your Fantasy Main Character

1. Sword
2. Bow
3. Comically Large Hammer
4. Dagger
5. Polearm
6. Ax
7. Razor-Sharp Hoop
8. Normally Sized Hammer
9. Whip
10. Spear

Secret twist ending: Now roll for which one your character gets.

Modernizing Fantasy

Instead of a cursed sword, why not a long explanation about fracking? That's what interests people today.

Wonders of Cultural Exchange

An unusual sight is the usual in a port city, but the most jaded confessed to amazement when across the ocean traveled a man toward them, not piloting a ship, rowing a boat, or even walking over the waves as if they were hills. Had that been true they would have figured him for a god, a straightforward enough matter.
Instead he was standing sideways on the broad blade of a sword larger than surely he was capable of wielding, they thought, until he rode it up the beach, picked it up, and leaned it casually against his shoulder. "Where is this? I am come exploring from the east," he announced.
Everyone wondered the same thing. "Welcome, visitor, but why did you travel in such a strange way?"
"What? Is there a better one?"
They showed him their ships and taught him everything about sailing, carpentry, and nautical engineering. The stranger learned so well that he became a renowned shipwright, adding his own innovations to a solid foundation of seamanship. One day he declared he had mastered their technology. "But I don't see what's better about it." Saying that, he boarded his sword and left, never to return.
Finis

Addendum

Don't you dare talk to me about plumbatae. Not if you value your smile and hope.

The Legacy of the Sword

"No army in the world ever relied on the sword," Roger said. He meant it, too.
Every single person Alex consulted said the same. He came to doubt. Was he wrong? Tromping along cold streets in the lonely night, he wondered. Had he sold his sanity to buy pleasantly superior thoughts of a history only he could know?
"Can't be," he thought. Then he said it. "It can't be. The Romans were real. Everyone knows that. What's going on?" His voice rose. "Rome was real!"
"Not for long." The fog swirled, blown about by an unseen power, but then one seen. A figure stepped forth and confronted Alex. "That dead people exists only in memory. Memories I have erased. Yours are the last, and I do not think you will keep them long. Hmph." The ghost of Hannibal raised his spectral sword, a cleaver of thoughts, a destroyer of minds.
Alex reached into his pocket and spoke the words.
Finis

Ys Is Simple Though

There's a redhead with a sword. Maybe he swings it, maybe he doesn't, but there's adventure either way.

Hot Enchantment Idea

Instead of talking swords, make arrows talk instead. Then they can annoy the other guy.

Addendum

I don't mean only the magic ones, but those two. Especially those. But not just those.

An Important Warning

A bunch of disguised aliens are trying to make people think swords aren't good so we'll be defenseless. Don't listen to them!

Punchline Corner

That's not my legendary sword!