Everyone Knows, But Nobody Wants to Be the First

Every single work of fiction should be printed in two versions: Furry and non-furry.

Unbeatable Idea for the Next Magic: The Gathering Set

Harry Potter.

Regarding the Latest Controversy

No, people made out of gold would not be useful only for melting down. They can stand outside the doors at galas as well. I was not calling for a profitable little murder at some undefined point in the future.

Q&A Corner

Q. How do I get across that my setting is full of magic and grand deeds?
A. Slivers of dead gods are a standard currency.
Q. How do I get across that my setting has dragons in it?
A. Here's the first line: "That was the day I saw a dragon."
Q. How do I get across that my orcs are noble and cool and stuff?
A. Here's the title: Neo-Fantasy Is All Out of Ideas
Q. What comes after neo-fantasy?
A. Rachet fantasy, then palin-fantasy, then intimate fantasy (intasy), then tidal fantasy.

Addendum

"Golds," however, is self-explanatory.

Psychology and Cover Design

If your book's cover shows a bunch of people reading your book, everyone else will want to read it too. Think about it.

Addendum

"Demon credits" might actually be worse, but there's an ambiguity there that will detract from the horror till the reader becomes accustomed.

How to Inform the Audience of the Grim State of the Setting

"Demon dollars." That's the currency. It can't get worse than that.

Challenge of Spring

The year-round theft! The criminal bold enough to flout the laws ought to exhibit daring in his targets as well, but few did. At last a heroic burglar declared his intention to steal the entire year and acted accordingly. The Jewel of Summer, the Jewel of Winter, and the Jewel of Autumn were in his little pocket.
"Oh, it's terrible!" What else could the gallery owner say? The Jewel of Spring was his responsibility but not his to sell, which he would have done just to sleep again. The police were sweating too. They had failed three times.
Around the gate they were posted, around the rear entrance, the side entrance, the balcony, and the equivalent entrances of every adjacent building. Disguised inspectors walked up and down the street as if pondering a purchase while custodes mingled with the visitors.
"But it's up here that it's best to wait, Falgunus!" Inspector Iagius told his custos.
"What makes you say so, sir?"
"The oath I took when I became an inspector to use my wits instead of sticking to rote procedure and claiming it's the fault of the regulations when I fail, Falgunus." What a striking figure he was on the roof across the street, watching over the gallery like a sympathetic god!
Suddenly, the alarm. Policemen scrambled all over the ground level, the second level, and the third and fourth, but the thief was ahead of them. He jumped up the first flight of stairs, leapt up the second, and so on, until he hopped up to the gallery roof and then crossed the street with a single superhuman bound. Right into the waiting arms of Custos Falgunus! The malefactor's panicked struggles availed nothing against the brawny limbs of the law.
"You see, Falgunus? The wizard-crafter made this seasonal jewel to absorb the very power of spring. The lesson is to look into the qualities of what you're guarding and not just the price."
Another triumph for Inspector Iagius!
Finis

Addendum

Please buy the same number of books or more, though. Hey, why are all you economists twitching like that?

Some Quick Math

According to my estimates, adjusting for inflation, books today should cost about $3,200 each. Readers have had it too good for too long. Who's with me?

Addendum

For science fiction however, you can just go with hypergold.

Tired of the Same Old Currencies?

Gold, crowns, potch, we've seen it all before. We've seen some of these, too, but that won't stop me.
- casholeons
- blucks
- monni
- gramgrams
- glizzies
- dollarios
- borts
- spinkles
- zouches
- foddor

Addendum

Or squash. Those people have money also. Don't bother with skating, though. In the first place, Bionic Lester covered that ages ago.

So why was he called Bionic Lester? Does anyone know? I just don't get it.

The Future of AI

We must make robots convincingly just good enough at golf not to slow down traffic but bad enough that our rich people and celebrities can beat them. Then we'll be rolling in dough.

Merchandising Opportunity

People need special gloves to read books. Nobody realizes it so far, and it's your job to convince them, sell them the gloves, and pay me for the idea. Get on it.

The Great Auction

The kingdom's financial difficulties forced it to auction off the right to name the next year, but good came out of it. There was much entertainment had by the people as the wealthy put forth publicly the names they intended to give it, whether reminders of their glorious ancestors or sentimental tributes to their present-day families. Brotherhoods scraped together all the promises they could from multiple members in the hope of attaching some reference only members of a particular occupation understood. The king tried not to discourage anyone by giving his opinion, but court-watchers reported his every expression when he heard of the latest proposed name.
The day of the auction came too soon for the public's liking but just in time for the treasury. As the event began in the grand hall, the king himself watching though not presiding, the great door burst open and there stood a man. It was Aldis, the great hero who had saved the kingdom countless times, outfitted in his magical armor of blue and armed with his adamant-cleaving sword. No one expected him, for he had left the kingdom to seek more adventure and beside that was no rich man, having the custom of giving away wealth as soon as he took it as he did.
"I have slain the wicked dragon Tyvithoda!" he declared to the wondering gasps of all there. "And plundered all that vast hoard. None, I think, will outbid me now."
The people begged to hear what he had chosen as the name, but to judge by the king's grimace, he knew already. Neither was Aldis mistaken about his superiority in wealth, and accordingly was the year entered into the annals as the Year of the King Still Wets His Bed.
Happy New Year!
Finis

Stuffing Fantasy

Is lucrative, but you should probably use a nom de plume for it.

Addendum

But if you don't buy it, that makes you Star Trek: Skinflint.

Disputes Over Schools of Magic

The argument: "I have become the strongest Gem Master in the world! My magic is supreme."
The counterargument: "You can't call yourself a Gem Master just because you have a bunch of gems, and being rich isn't magic."
The outcome: After Gem Master Dorol bought the furniture store where Polish Mage Irsen worked and fired him, the argument was proved correct.
The aftermath: Gem Master Dorol's shoes are the shiniest in town. Meanwhile, Polish Mage Irsen isn't starving to death.
Finis