Addendum

Another 2450 prediction: the best use for AI will still be pretending to be fictional characters for chatting purposes even though the spaghetti-eating videos will be almost perfect.

Future Currency

Money's probably going to need a stat squish someday. According to the workings of my blast-processing-enabled brain, in the year 2450, 10,000 USD will be worth about 30 talents.

Addendum

But there's still time for a hero shooter, right? Right?

Empty Bandwagons

It's probably too late to hope for success with a Vampire Survivors-type game, but not a single fantasy book property ended up being the setting for one so far as I know. What's everybody doing out there?

Addendum

Higher-production works should of course have little chibi pictures of characters as they walk, fight, eat, and so forth.

Currency Complications

When you make up your fantasy currency, potch for example, it can be awkward to inform the reader what it means. "I had to pay 1,000 potch, which is approximately two chickens and a bag of pine needles," someone might say but probably wouldn't. When this happens, remember that the audience isn't always as attached to maintaining an in-universe perspective as the writer. Try this: "He paid 1,000 potch (this is exorbitant)." There, everything's settled.

Addendum

Also, definitely be working on a children's book.

Fierce Training Legend

Once there was a trollslayer so superlative in his accomplishments that the number of trolls dwindled below a point at which he was forced to evaluate his career.
"I hear more complaints about ogres than trolls these days. I never learned much about soil or negotiations, so why shouldn't I learn to slay ogres instead?"
With that reasoning he sought great ogreslayers to learn the trade, but he learned there were none worthy of consideration in the region, a lack which explained the contemporary situation. Having ascertained that, he approached an arms instructor who was known to have seen an ogre once. The instructor began by asking, "What is your usual method for dispatching trolls?"
"I approach with my weapon ready, I concentrate my vigor, and I shout, this is my habit but not an immutable one, 'Die, troll!' I then lop off its savage head with my flashing brand."
"Very good." The instructor considered. "I suggest this change. Try, when the shouting period is reached, to substitute 'Die, ogre,' for your typical address."
After a few drills, both judged the technique worthy of a trial, which proved the merits thereof. Soon the number of ogres dwindled too, but by then the ogreslayer had purchased productive land.
Finis

Addendum

As for cubits, well, they sound related to geometry and thus are better ignored. We have to keep things simple and heroic.

Currency Revolution

We should probably talk about talents more in fantasy, but the problem with that is figuring out what in the world a talent is, a difficulty for both the author and the audience. However, if we just think of it as "a big chunk," it becomes a convenient sort of measurement.

Summary of the Blastopolitan Saga

For his crimes—saying what he thought and living how he liked—he was given a harsh sentence. He was . . .

EXILED TO BLASTOPOLIS

"I still can't believe I was exiled to Blastopolis, but I'm settling in," said Gilliam Axhagen as he potshotted another astro-mutant with his tri-fission blaster. "Say, what's that building over there, the one they're staying away from? It looks abandoned—just the sort of place they usually like. Could that be the location of one of the . . ."

SECRETS OF BLASTOPOLIS

"We've uncovered some of the secrets of Blastopolis." Fred Wendell laid a paternal hand on Gilliam's shoulder. "But we won't be able to understand much more unless you become . . ."

RULER OF BLASTOPOLIS

"Now that there's a true ruler of Blastopolis, we can hope for some order," said Fender Bivins as he vaporized one of the last four remaining sludge-trudgers. "But who knows what could be out there, out . . ."

BEYOND BLASTOPOLIS

"It turns out readers don't much care what's beyond Blastopolis." The publisher laid a paternal hand on the writer's shoulder. "We really think it would be better to take things . . ."

BACK TO BLASTOPOLIS
TRIUMPH IN BLASTOPOLIS
WAR IN BLASTOPOLIS
SURVIVORS OF BLASTOPOLIS
EXCURSION BEYOND BLASTOPOLIS
RETURN TO BLASTOPOLIS
GENESIS OF BLASTOPOLIS
CANCELLATION OF BLASTOPOLIS
REVIVAL OF BLASTOPOLIS
Finis

Battle Statue War Record

Year 1
"I have succeeded in animating a statue capable of replicating any human action while being tireless and hardy beyond flesh. Soon legions of battle statues will humble my neighboring wizard-kings, just so soon as I produce a sufficient force."

Year 3
"The quarrying is going well. My menial statues are superior to human workers when properly supervised. Of course I must hire competent supervisors, but money is easily at hand; a portion of the yield can be sold abroad."

Year 7
"By now, half the carriage drivers in the region are my statues, except in those city-states which prohibit them. Don't they know battle statues and the menial type are completely different? But then, how could they? Only I know the secret. Unfortunately, current designs lack the delicacy required for fruit-picking, but the stevedores are coming along excellently."

Year 28
"For now I have delegated governance and research in favor of training new sculptors, though I am unsure I will resume those pursuits afterward. My current interests lean more toward selecting personnel for the proposed branch offices and ensuring the materials for my new mansion justify the asserted prices. Lately I have had a feeling of neglecting some plan, but it would be more surprising if such were not the case. My conceptions are endless, and despite how the payroll has grown, I have never been busier. I can barely find time to add to this journal, let alone read it. Perhaps I should hire someone, but anyone competent is needed for a dozen roles of greater importance."
Finis

Implementing Historically Accurate Thieves' Guilds

If you ask me, the Chandlers are a thieves' guild, with these prices! Criminy! And the Coopers! And the Masons! They're insatiable! And what does it cost to bury someone these days? I can't even afford dying!

Adventure Taxonomy

We may divide adventures into sadventures and madventures. Or rather, we may not, but I want to. There are also whimsy adventures, pride adventures, philosophical adventures, surreal adventures, and perhaps most prominent, love adventures, but actually most prominent, money adventures. Some might say a money adventure as the sadventurest of all, but those people have either too much or not enough money.

Addendum

The Tier 0 option, involving being sent scraps the purchaser has to assemble into a book, may well become the most desirable owing to man's perverse nature.

Collectible Book Feature

Tier 1: Book is signed
Tier 2: Book is signed by author
Tier 3: Book is signed by better author
Tier 4: Book is signed and rewritten by better author

Vital Worldbuilding Concern

The paramount consideration when crafting your new property must be this: "How many Magic: The Gathering cards can be made out of this?" That's where the real money is.

The Font of Elevation

One day, the Horrelfot Geyser sprayed gold instead of water. The margrave, thinking of the costs of his current and contemplated entanglements, sent men to dig there, whether for gold or more likely some item strange in its properties.
A few yards of pit later, the men unearthed the cause of it, which was a gnome holding a mass gold. He explained that he realized recently he had neglected to wash his bedding for a few hundred years and nothing less powerful than the geyser would do. The bundle, unrolled, proved to be thick sheets far too heavy for any one of the helpful diggers to lift even when they agreed to assist with the washing.
One among them, not content to suppress his curiosity even when dealing with creatures from whom no sense could be expected, asked the gnome if he would not prefer softer sheets, linen perhaps. The conversation revealed the ignorance gnomes have of comforts. A trade was arranged so that the gnome went away with the softest sheets in the county which were the margrave's own, and his bed too, and his pillows.
The margrave prospered after that, nor did he forget to bestow upon his able servant lands and honors. The new vassal's emblem became a golden sheet in commemoration of that incident, and not because "nobody could think of anything meaningful for that undistinguished family," as you alleged in your scandalous publication. Now that this court has instructed you better, an apology is expected and will reduce the fine from devastating to instructive.
Finis

Movie News

Here's the latest! Movies that aren't horror are still coming out, but they probably shouldn't! That's all! Forever!

Addendum

Be careful. Just because Reginald is right about the Bermuda Triangle doesn't mean you should invest in his company which intends to build a space elevator there. It's not even that close to the equator.