Social Events?

I've never attended one myself, but sometimes your characters might have to. Should such a dreadful eventuality arise, please consult the following table, your favorite chance-reflection implement at hand.

1. Wedding
2. Funeral
3. Baptism (local equivalent thereof)
4. Knighting
5. Measured observance of the outcome of a recent sporting event
6. Mass clemency offer on the ascension of a new ruler
7. THE GATHERING
8. Birth
9. A priest is gonna resurrect somebody? Don't see that every day!
10. Ritual bathing in the pool of the slain god to absorb powers (very likely the main character won't get any but then later it turns out he has the best one or can steal others or excels with wits or hard work, which is to say everyone else is incapable of figuring out how to open a door)
11. Important businessman's retirement
12. The sword dance (few survive the sword dance)

To determine who else will be attending the event, how about you come up with something on your own for a change? Sheesh.

Addendum

People just flip to the back of the book before they decide to read it anyway. I can't explain this inhuman behavior, but I must accept it.

Impediments to Progress

We have to confront this pressing issue boldly. The only reason fantasy and science fiction novel randomizers don't exist the way they do for your favorite NES games is because we would find out it doesn't much matter what order things happen in so long as there are dragons or spaceships in there somewhere.