Heterodoxy and Insincerity: The Distinction

Insincerity is when you say you like the 1967 Casino Royale the most. Heterodoxy is when you say the 1954 one is the best.

The Culture of the New Age

Do people still know Pig Latin? You know, the kids on their Discords and their Pinterests? Or is it deader than actual Latin, which fancy dancies learn, at least a little bit?

Addendum

For instance, coarse-grain sand could be Oarsecay-aingray andsay. Alternatively, use bars sinister and lions rampant to distinguish them. You don't have to bother learning how to read that way, which is a skill otherwise useless for sand mages.

The Ease of Use of Sand Magic

Just carry around grains in little bags. None of that Ultima nonsense with your mandrake and your ginseng jumbled together in your backpack under a bunch of maps and candelabras. Remember to label your bags, but use a code so your enemies don't know.

The Trends of the New Era

Out: A pirate captain with a very sophisticated parrot.
In: Sand magic.

A Dangerous Precedent

The trial of the decade! Begrenecht was at last in the hands of the law. Lord Divrin opted to bring the case personally, certain of the outcome if proper preparation was made, but discovered certainty is a symptom of inexperience.
"Did you or did you not cut down thirty-six people on the day in question? Answer the question."
". . ."
"It's a simple question. Yes or no. That's all that's required."
". . ."
"Your Honor!" Lord Divrin gave up in disgust. "Why are we going through this farce? Let's just snap Cursed Sword Begrenecht in half and get on with your day."
"I'm surprised at you, My Lord. You know our laws insist all intelligent magical items must have a chance to defend themselves." "It doesn't talk! We aren't even sure it's intelligent!"
"My grandson doesn't talk either. I hope you do not propose to claim he is unintelligent. I saw him drop the triangle block in the triangle space myself just yesterday."
"In that case, Your Honor. Let's see if the defendant can drop the triangle block in the triangle space." Legal observers long remembered Lord Divrin's successful prosecution as a model of subverting the spirit and purpose of the law to augment one's own reputation at the expense of the public good.
Finis

The Newest Subgenre

Slice of death. I don't know what that means, and if I did I would charge you for the knowledge. Related to mummycore? No. It can't be that simple. It just can't be.

Addendum

Don't make it about that guy you steal the charisma cloak from in Baldur's Gate, though. That guy's a little too much like me.

A New Dungeons and Dragons Movie, You Say

I hope it's about Raistlin. He's just like me! Failing that, I hope it's about Sammaster. He's just like me! Failing even that, I hope it's so good everybody like me who's ready to start making fun of it is forced to reexamine everything we thought we knew about the world.

The Sadness of Things

Fantasy is an existing word, but science fiction isn't anything. Just as most people say mystery instead of detective fiction and history instead of narrative of past events, science fiction will always lose the terminology wars to fantasy. Therefore, we should accept science fiction's place as a subsidiary of fantasy and henceforth refer to it as gun fantasy, or guntasy. There's more to the difference between science fiction and fantasy than guns, you say? Not really. When you think about it.

Tower of Fantasy Review

Where's Tower of Science Fiction?

Thoughts on Triangle Strategy

It's pretty good.
I like that each character had a different ability set. However, that makes the low number of deploy slots even more irritating, as does the fact that some of the mock battles had higher limits than the story battles.
The characters look as if somebody ran Eureka Seven through a Final Fantasy Tactics-izer, a strange device invented for a niche market.
The battles managed to change things up from one to the next without becoming a real pain with gimmicks and triggers players have to negotiate in a restricted way. Most importanty, the gimmicks and terrain features sometimes work in the player's favor, which games sometimes neglect to do and give all the fun to the enemies instead, who are incapable of appreciating it. This post was written before the AI revolution, if any future readers are confused. The TP system is fine, but I think the more expensive abilities are impractical beyond what the developers must have hoped.
The story doesn't really support the weight placed on it, and also isn't good. My perception of the situation, the resources available to each faction, the implications of various approaches, and so on always differed from that of the characters, which created a sense of alienation. Sometimes none of the available decisions made sense to me based on what I understood of things as they stood. Beyond that, it's overall a mess with elements, especially regarding Hyzante, that seem to intrude from other games. Possibly better games. It swings between basing everything on personal motives and being a struggle of ideological frameworks in a strange way, as if the writers never agreed which style they would pursue. The long, long sections between battles, which at first I accepted as setup for later events and decisions, ended up being mostly too much talking about stuff that didn't really matter later.
Grinding mock battles is unnecessary to succeed, but seems necessary to enjoy some characters. Only late in the game could I afford offensive items.
The hidden items in the exploration areas makes them a slog instead of a break between battles which give a deeper feeling to the world.
The point of New Game+ in a game like this is so that I can replay it faster to see different paths. Increasing enemy difficulty is fine for a mode, but leave one for easy replays. Sure, the game isn't hard, but I'm talking really fast, as in not paying attention at all.
The endless trips between the merchant and the forge are irksome and unnecessary. The smith should sell the upgrade items.
Before playing it, I thought Triangle Strategy was a bad name. Nothing has changed.

The Creation of Shadows

Enjoying the Contract Renegotiation Festival? What? You don't think we should have a festival for that, or even allow it? Now, you might not know this, but the gods sanction contract renegotiations by their own example.
Once, Day and Night agreed between themselves to split the guardianship of the world evenly. The creatures, the corn, and the fruit all prospered under their eyes that watched together, though most preferred one or the other.
Then one creature, you know which, discovered the use of fire to repel enfolding Night. That guardian met its obligations less and less, and Day made up the difference. At last, Day called Night to account.
"Do you, then, yield all the Earth to me for all time? Or will you resume the proper execution of your duties?"
"Alas, I cannot do as I did before. However, my half of the work can be done in this way. Now and forever, the creatures, the corn, and the fruit, as well as the rocks and the clay, will cast shadows as my spies during your time that I may lighten your burden as I fear you must mine."
And so Day and Night renegotiated their contract to the good of all the world. In that same spirit, why don't we discuss the two cows someone much like me but younger may or may not owe for services possibly rendered to someone much like you, but less dignified?
Finis

The Latest Videogame News

You know, I played Front Mission Evolved, and I can't call it great. Stay posted for more news.

An Announcement for Confused Detective Conan Fans

I don't know why he didn't use his skateboard in that running mobile game either, but we don't have to worry about that now. Even end of service has its consolations.

An Announcement for Confused Fate Grand Order Players

That Waver guy all the guides are telling you to get is called Zhuge Liang (El Melloi II) in game. Also, you should get Zhuge Liang (El Melloi II) if you don't have him.

Addendum

"It was only a dream," the book begins. Would you read a book like that? Me neither, but it might just be crazy enough to work.

The Logical Implication

Put the ending at the front of the book, then write, "But how did this happen? Read on to find out!" The only problem is that then you actually have to write a good ending. Might be a little tough.

What Makes for a Good Ending?

Doesn't matter. Nobody's going to make it that far anyway.

Never Refuse the Call

An ordinary young person on an ordinary day woke up, showered, ate, the usual. Who knew, who could have imagined, that soon everything would change?

"Shouldn't everything be changing?"
"Should be. I had the mysterious package sent over to the chosen one as planned."
"Huh." The mysterious entity checked its watch. "Huh."

Hours passed. Soon that typical, protagonist-looking person would be thrust into a new life of danger and sacrifice, but also triumph and a lifetime of memories.

"Is this site ever wrong?"
"Not that I've seen."
"It says 'already delivered.' Well? Something should have happened by now."
"Some new heroes take things more calmly than others."
"No way. Maybe. I don't know. Should I go over there? I think I should go over there."
"That doesn't sound like all that mysterious a thing to do."
"We'll give it another hour then."

Elsewhere, the invaders met their match. "Who is this Earthling who opposes us, and how does he have equipment that allows him to resist our extradimensional technology?" They were forced back through their latest portal without ever learning the name of Arnold T. Porchthief, whose name answered both questions.
Finis

A Helpful Tip for Translators

Good: Kneel.
Good: Genuflect.
Bad: Bend the knee. A Song of Ice and Fire is not reference material. It is a fiction series with terms the author used or invented for his own purposes.

Bitter Memories

Speaking of XP distribution, all my guys in Final Fantasy were the same level. Until we met Astos. No videogame villain has incurred such deep enmity as that.

A Mechanical Question

Did Grand Moff Tarkin get all the XP for blowing up Alderaan, or did he share it with everyone on the Death Star? I bet he had to share it. Should have given all the Imperial Navy guys shore leave first.

Non-Human Politics

A dragon who wins election ten times becomes a dracodecagogue obviously, which is twice as good as a demidracodecagogue. But what do adventurers in non-electoral polities do? Level up off of aristocrats and tyrants? That sounds plausibly bloody. The best method is to have a ton of kids so your heir can farm his half-brothers for XP.

Origin Story

You have to win election at least ten times to become a decagogue, of course. Unfortunately, you're usually old by then, which restrains your power. Semagogues require elevation to a naval position, which is pretty specific, but the abilities are generally useful. Nothing's free in a well crafted system, after all.

Political Musings

Who's stronger? A demagogue or a semagogue? They'd both lose to a decagogue, obviously, but there are a lot of unanswered questions here.

The Internal Ocean

No one went to an Otthe Evanfor demonstration with any prediction as to the subject or results, not after one or two experiences. The gallery spectators settled themselves and waited for the latest thing.
"The latest thing! This is it! I have invented a fish." Otthe Evanfor moved among the blackboards and jars of the experiment theater, pointing, waving, and poking. "A special fish that swims in a special ocean: the ocean of memory. That's right."
The audience thought perhaps he wanted it to gasp, and it obliged him. After all the entertainment he had provided, how could it desert him then?
"Yes, it swims in human memories, and for its food? Especially tasty memories. The kind you can't stop remembering. Look!" He pointed at the only other person who had been allowed in the theater proper. "The first subject! Tell us your experiences! Are you remembering anything right now?"
"Well, matter of fact, right now what's coming to mind is a time when, you know, we were all enjoying ourselves . . ." The nervous man turned red, but he was being paid. "I enjoyed myself a lot, and when I went back to my room to, uh, well, I did feel like there was an ocean in me, but not in the memory part."
The audience laughed, but the presenter glowed. "Yes? And then?"
"And then I realized I wasn't in my room. I was in somebody else's house. What a day. They asked me to leave, but I needed to do something before I did."
More laughter. "And you still have this memory? Not for long, I think."
"Sure I do. Only now I remember a fish in the toilet, which I don't think is what happened."
So much entertainment.

The entertainment turned into something else when the dictator heard about the invention and arranged to have fish trail likenesses of himself behind them into every citizen's memory, but such is the delayed price of amusement.
Finis

Addendum

As for Sword of Shannara, some kind of John Denver-like songs should make up most of the score.

Musical Musings

Q. What kind of soundtrack should a Wheel of Time TV show have?
A. Either baroque or grinding PC-98 death music.

An Unobjectionable Pitch

Here's the newest hit: Perry Mason . . . but with ghosts!

Edit: We have decided to retract this pitch after being informed of the existence of the Phoenix Wright series of games as well as its spinoffs.