Appropriate Cast Size for a Novel

It was 108 centuries ago, and that was just the heroes.* Aren't you ashamed if you have fewer than 1,080 today?



*Or "heroes," if you prefer.

Cultural Fragmentation

Soon books will be so optimized that each of them will be readable by only a single person. We will no longer share cultural references. When that day comes, I'm going to tell all you chumps how bad your literary opinions used to be and how glad I am they don't matter any longer.

Microsoft News

Now that videogames are dead, can literature thrive again? Or is this the new age of genre radio? Here's the newest thing: A news podcast that presents news reports about a fictional universe all written by AI and lightly edited by someone who has a vague grasp of the continuity.

Combining Literature and Animation

If we only print words on every other page, almost nobody will notice. Every third and we can still get away with it.

Getting on the Wagon

How can books leech off the continuing success of open-world games? The answer is simple: Lengthy tower-climbing segments followed by even longer descriptions of everything in the vicinity. People love that stuff, no matter what was said in your fiction workshop.

On Originality

People do covers of songs all the time, but if I ctrl-c ctrl-v Lucian, people say I should make up my own material, like an ending. What's that all about?

Ephemeral Technology

Isn't it strange that television, a younger medium than movies or radio, to say nothing of literature, is almost dead already? It had close to a single human lifespan. Who would have predicted that in the 60s without saying something about holograms? Those don't seem as popular as they used to be.

The True Test of Empathy

How bad do you think elves are at writing human characters? The worst part is probably that one of them got a reputation for writing good humans and other elves just repeat that because they heard it once, but really that one is the worst at it. They seem more sympathetic because they aren't even trying to be anything but elves with round ears.

Addendum

And the covers!

The Dreadful Future

One day, authors will realize how easy it is to insert a note about somebody's feet every few chapters and how much of a boost they get from it, and pretty soon the feetsters will run the entire literature industry.

Addendum

We're also way past due for Fist of the North Star to happen. Art just doesn't matter.

The Societal Implications of Art and Literature

Now that everybody's a big Dune-head, when are we going to legalize family atomics? Never? Sometimes I wonder if there's any point to all this.

Literature Corner

Some people ask, does every story really need a theme? Well, let me ask you this. Is every park a theme park? No? I was hoping you'd say yes, but there it is.

How to Determine If a Work Is Serious Literature

Some people treat the main character well when they have a reason to or no reason not to: Puerile escapism.
Nothing good ever happens to the main character, not even a kind word: Realistic with depth.

Addendum

Fiction is already fake. It doesn't gain anything by being double-fake. I decided to add that statement of principle in case anyone didn't share my distaste for those ideas. Now you all agree with me, right?

Debate of the Century

Which is worse, finding out it's all a dream or that it's all a simulation? I'm going with simulation. At least a dream might be prophetic. Meanwhile, over in the simulation thing, you know there's going to be ambiguity about whether the part outside a simulation is also a simulation. Ooh, so tantalizing!

There Are Two Audiences And Here's How You Appeal To Them

1) "We have to go to the demon world!"
2) "We have to go to the demon world, which is made up of seven layers. Each layer is divided into four distrcts, and each district is controlled by a lord who has under him one general and his two captains, a chancellor, and five tribunes."

Time Skip Reminder

You made sure that the stuff that happens during the time skip isn't far more interesting than what's in your story, right? You did, didn't? Are you sure?

How to Use a Prologue Correctly

Include an antilogue so the reader gets both sides.

Literary Advice Q&A

Q. How do I show my main character's development?
A. Give him two swords.
Q. He already has two.
A. Take away one.
Q. What if he's an archer?
A. Give him two quivers. Then it's a reference, too.