Against the Four Gates

King Ploutimos gathered up riches from his various conquests and stored them in his citadel at Hosses. He made no secret about it but rather boasted.
"And he who can win entrance can have the whole of it, but it will be too hard for any of you. For the wall has four gates through it. The northern is of iron and is guarded by Kyromedes whose helmet blunts every weapon. At the southern which is of bronze I have set Proimenos whose boots impart such deftness of movement that the ignorant swear he can fly. The west, which is silver, has at it the wielder of the dagger which when sheathed becomes coated in a poison that afflicts every man and monster equally, who is Phaimander. The golden gate to the east is defended by Archeuros, and to speak of him and his spear is useless, because none will challenge him."
The bold and the desperate made attempts on this gate or that, and many were the deaths and shameful retreats that resulted till Telephas son of Diophas came and laid Kyromedes low. He did not enter the citadel then but instead took the helmet and wore it against Phaimander, whose dagger then slew Archeuros, whose spear soon impaled Proimenos.
Even then Telephas did not enter but rather left Hosses entirely, saying he had no means to transport wealth where he had need to go, and that others might enjoy it as they wished.
Finis

Addendum

Axes work great though. They don't even have to be empyreal axes or enchanted in any way.

Lyric Explanation

Remember that song about "tie a power ribbon 'round the old oak tree?" That's how you begin ensorcelling a tree in such a way that it will sheathe itself in empyreal bark, a material capable of producing shields and helmets impossible to overcome with profane arts.

Talons of Braves

Near any crossroads must be an establishment to serve travelers, and in any such establishment, should the bold arrive in numbers, boasts will be heard. One day, brave men going in every direction happened to be in one place, so of course one stood and proclaimed the virtues of his arms.
"This sword you see, and this shorter sword, and this shield as well, are in truth a claw's three talons of the formerly fearsome dragon Grand Madness, and this helmet is of his hide. It was the smith Iriklio who made them."
That was a boast impossible to ignore, for five other braves stood and proclaimed their story the same. Moreover, they compared their arms and saw them identical.
"Six sets! How many claws has a dragon, my friends? I think me what is right for us to do is to chastise that Iriklio who mocks his customers!"
That proposal proud on the outside and filled inside with wrath all six accepted. But then, what was that? A clamor outside of yells and screams! They departed and saw this.
A dragon stood, fierce, his wings spread, and named himself. "I am Edge of Terror, vassals, and who bears the dragon's arms, the talons of Grand Madness, today he dies! For I am his son." And he stood on six feet and six claws.
The braves therefore prepared for the fight.
Finis

Speaking of Minotaurs

Riding a minotaur into battle is a waste of a good minotaur, so just ride a bull or a warcow instead. Don't forget to equip your warcow with a helmet that has more horns on it.

The Big Question About Submarine Fantasy

Should people have big fishbowl helmets so it's like old scifi, or not? I think probably not. They should be equipped with sharksuits.