Dune's Biggest Flaw

Baron isn't even a high rank. The Harkonnens must be small-time. I can't take them seriously as antagonists.

The Grim Gramble

All was decadence and dancing in the palace when the Grim Gramble came to ruin the fun. The footmen tried to throw it out but were thrown out themselves. The head butler was buffeted hard. The stiff doors were revealed as primarily ornamental.
"I am the Grim Gramble," the thing declared as it moved to pacify the ballroom. The barons took up arms, the counts saddled up indoors though they were, and the dukes prepared themselves in every way to defend their significant privileges, but it was too much for them.
"The Grim Gramble is the grummiest," all wailed. "We cannot by any means withstand it."
"You're slow to learn," the thing told them, "but at last you know. I am the Grim Gramble, and I will have what is promised."
"We promised you nothing!" So cried the dukes, who kept track of that sort of thing.
"Did I say promised to me? I am the Grim Gramble, and if something is owed and not claimed, I will have it."
Hearing that, the nobles fled the palace all the way to a small estate where the master himself labored. They begged Edwin to take the throne after all, for they regretted what they had done.
Edwin listened and marched on back. When he stated his claim, the Grim Gramble lost its strength to resist and had a beating such as no more than a few deserve. Then Edwin became a king who ruled with less trouble than most, for the fractious nobles remembered the Grim Gramble, for one generation at least.
Finis

Alternative Titles

Tired of lords, dukes, and space dukes? Try some of these suggestions!

Companion
Upman
Rightman
Leftman
Managist
Brudder
Overguy
Leado
Firsted
Hosterior
Winner
Vigiloso
Plateman
Diceholder
Favorack

Q&A Corner

Q. This noble character should probably have lots of middle names, but I'm pretty sure my readers will sooner watch the new Amazon TV show than read them all. What should I do?
A. Write science fiction instead.
Q. The problem will persist in space.
A. Don't let Spaniards into space.
Q. Too late for that.
A. Then all is lost.

Food for Thought

We all know fantasy can be used to explore ideas unthinkable in the real world and train our intellects to recognize unnatural concepts. But which ones? Try these on for size.

Magic is real, but in a fun way.
Magic is real, but in an unfun way.
People read more than the first of words of anything.
The bones of dead people are a threat for some reason.
Nobles are no better than commoners.
I mean, they managed to die when they still had muscles and brains. What are they going to do now?
Children can be useful.

All these and more are possible. Don't be afraid to dream!

Addendum

Less sassy than their owners that is, not than the town guard or the stuffy noble who's about to get the starch taken out of those ruffles. Shouldn't be starching his ruffles anyway. What's this clown think he's doing?