What the Television Executives Are Missing

They should adapt series nobody likes so people are happy when they're canceled.

Adapting Shannara

Obviously it should already have been a gacha game years ago. Don't ask silly questions. Genre? Who cares?

Wheel of Time Season 3 Date Announced

Now we can ignore it knowingly!

The Next Wave

All these years of making cookbooks based on novels have brought us at last to the point of making novels based on cookbooks. Think of the worldbuilding.

Addendum

I haven't thought of anything better yet, but there just has to be something. What about The Riddle-Master of Hed?

Controversial Statements

I've been holding this in for a long time, but I just have to say it: I don't think Dennis L. McKiernan's The Iron Tower is especially suitable for a fighting game. I think you could find better.

Adaptation Corner

Q. What's the best way to adapt The Skylark of Space?
A. Pinball game.

The New Way to Adapt Fantasy to Film

Make it black and white and so dark that nobody can't see nothing. It will look so arty that nobody will dare complain.

Modern Etiquette

How long is it appropriate to wait before putting up the internet video about how the Borderlands movie was underappreciated in its day? I already have the script written.

Addendum

The ultimate goal is banning all forms of entertainment aside from books and movies based on books, but progress on that needs to be gradual. Overton windows and all. You understand.

Acceptable Changes in Adaptations for Visual Media

Masks don't sound all that cool when they're described, but they look cool. Therefore everyone in the TV show or movie should be masked, regardless of the source material. The Greeks and Romans did it. Just look up what persona actually means.

Addendum

You could really play up the framing device, just bore everybody for no reason. Cast your one big name as the guy who looks at Mercury and give him at least 10 minutes each episode. Better yet, start the actual story in the last episode of the first season as a cliffhanger, then act surprised when there's no season two.

Streaming Pitch

If nobody's going to watch anyway, you might as well adapt The Worm Ouroboros. And don't try to pretend people are going to watch your streaming show. We all know.

How Rifts Can Succeed as a Movie Franchise

I'm surprised it isn't already. Somebody call a rich guy and make it happen.

How Dungeons & Dragons Can Succeed as a Move Franchise

I don't think anybody makes Move games anymore, so the field is open. That's how business works.

How Dungeons & Dragons Can Succeed as a Movie Franchise

Release separate Dungeons movies and Dragons movies. Everyone will see the dragon one and then rent the dungeon one to get the whole story.

The Societal Implications of Art and Literature

Now that everybody's a big Dune-head, when are we going to legalize family atomics? Never? Sometimes I wonder if there's any point to all this.

Survivor Bias in Adaptations

Look around at poor adaptations, regardless of which medium to which other medium, and you'll see they have one factor in common: They're all based on stuff that came out. That's what holds adaptations back. Adapt something that got cancelled if you want to produce something with real imagination.

Adaptable Material

Everybody's seen Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Game: The Chronicles, right? If not, here it is. That's all well and good, but I hear people saying the Albax story would be great to adapt. They're wrong. As much as it may tickle you to see a new card and realize the latest evil clown is actually this jerk from another card, that doesn't mean anything in a TV show. Think about the actual plot and you'll realize it's just a whole series of, "And these guys show up, and these guys show up, and these guys turn into these guys, and these guys show up . . ." Not only is Albaz not the best Yu-Gi-Oh! card set to adapt, it probably isn't even in the top five. Wait, probably? We can check easily enough.
1) Vendread
2) Gold Pride
3) S-Force
4) Rescue-ACE
5) Shiranui
Yup, not even in the top 5.

Wheel of Time Wish Corner

Does anyone else wish it could somehow be arranged for the Wheel of Time TV show to release a season finale every week? I just can't get enough of those things. I don't even have to watch them.