Showing posts with label banditry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label banditry. Show all posts
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Dragon Incentives
It's probably Pern's fault that riding dragons and their dragon riders so often have some kind of magic/psychic/empathic bond, but let's be honest: Both parties probably just liking wrecking stuff and pillaging what's left. The will to evil is sufficient without such contrivances.
Monday, August 11, 2025
Visions of Future Anarchy
The first cruel robber asked travelers for the time. When they looked at their watches, he grabbed their feet and swung them against a tree. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?"
"No, but you can look at my watch. I wear it around my ankle."
"Eh?"
Pow! The hero kicked the bandit against the tree and killed him.
The second cruel robber invited travelers to rest in a cottage. When polite visitors removed their shoes and stepped inside, the treacherous floor dropped them into a boiling cauldron. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. You look like someone who needs a break."
"Thank you. I'll just take off my boots."
"Eh?"
Entranced by the valuable watch, studded with gems but nevertheless tasteful, the robber failed to resist in time and was thrown into his own trap. Splash!
The third cruel robber gave travelers a remote control and suggested they watch their favorite program on his gigantic television set. Too bad for them, the remote was a bomb. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. Why not sit down on this couch and watch your favorite program?"
"It isn't on yet. Here, check this watch."
"And a fine watch that is. I bet it could bring . . . eh?"
Smash! The hero brought the TV down on the robber's head. With that, the road was safe at last.
Finis
"Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?"
"No, but you can look at my watch. I wear it around my ankle."
"Eh?"
Pow! The hero kicked the bandit against the tree and killed him.
The second cruel robber invited travelers to rest in a cottage. When polite visitors removed their shoes and stepped inside, the treacherous floor dropped them into a boiling cauldron. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. You look like someone who needs a break."
"Thank you. I'll just take off my boots."
"Eh?"
Entranced by the valuable watch, studded with gems but nevertheless tasteful, the robber failed to resist in time and was thrown into his own trap. Splash!
The third cruel robber gave travelers a remote control and suggested they watch their favorite program on his gigantic television set. Too bad for them, the remote was a bomb. Knowing that, the hero approached him.
"Excuse me, sir. Why not sit down on this couch and watch your favorite program?"
"It isn't on yet. Here, check this watch."
"And a fine watch that is. I bet it could bring . . . eh?"
Smash! The hero brought the TV down on the robber's head. With that, the road was safe at last.
Finis
Monday, April 21, 2025
On Conscientious Governance and Adapting in Response to Circumstances
The provincial capital's most eminent, or those who aspired to that position, had lined up outside the governor's residence earlier than some of them awoke on a typical day. They awaited the new governor.
He came. Striding toward his door, he moved as if unaware anyone was there aside from him, but he began speaking before he passed the first well-wishers in rapid words full of good sense. "Gentlemen, the custom for freshly installed officials is to set out their program for their terms, and I cannot imagine violating it. First is this. The most knowledgeable about local conditions and the most studied in the law will consult for the purpose of creating a code of laws to apply to a group of people which I am told is now over eight percent of the population, higher than the thugs who stand in a field and wait to be killed an looted, another problem our energies must go toward solving. What is that you're wearing?"
The governor had finally stopped, square in front of one young man.
"It's a baseball cap."
"I don't know what that is. Are you one of them? How did you get here?"
"I fell into a canyon and died, then I woke up here."
"My condolences. These people are who I mean, gentlemen. Special skills?"
"Magic-suppressing magic."
"Of course, of course. Stay steady and we'll take care of you." The governor resumed his march to the residence. "Second, the administrators of the magic schools here, a strangely large number it seems to me, are to provide an explanation of why they're always wrong about which talents are good. It saps confidence, gentlemen. Third, I want a justification for the policy of distributing bullies among these schools. Fourth, respecting these multiple reports of amnesia . . ."
Finis
He came. Striding toward his door, he moved as if unaware anyone was there aside from him, but he began speaking before he passed the first well-wishers in rapid words full of good sense. "Gentlemen, the custom for freshly installed officials is to set out their program for their terms, and I cannot imagine violating it. First is this. The most knowledgeable about local conditions and the most studied in the law will consult for the purpose of creating a code of laws to apply to a group of people which I am told is now over eight percent of the population, higher than the thugs who stand in a field and wait to be killed an looted, another problem our energies must go toward solving. What is that you're wearing?"
The governor had finally stopped, square in front of one young man.
"It's a baseball cap."
"I don't know what that is. Are you one of them? How did you get here?"
"I fell into a canyon and died, then I woke up here."
"My condolences. These people are who I mean, gentlemen. Special skills?"
"Magic-suppressing magic."
"Of course, of course. Stay steady and we'll take care of you." The governor resumed his march to the residence. "Second, the administrators of the magic schools here, a strangely large number it seems to me, are to provide an explanation of why they're always wrong about which talents are good. It saps confidence, gentlemen. Third, I want a justification for the policy of distributing bullies among these schools. Fourth, respecting these multiple reports of amnesia . . ."
Finis
Sunday, August 20, 2023
The Consequences of Power
Mothers grabbed their children and fled when the man walked into town over the objections of the helpless sentries. A runner dashed through the streets and dodged the panicking subjects to inform his master of the disturbance and its cause.
"So, Growmaster Denphek is back? I'll go see what he wants." The man who controlled everything in the town laughed. He knew already. How could he not?
They met halfway between the entry and the palace. Neither hurried or tarried, and at last they confronted each other, again. "Well, Mivol."
"Indeed, Denphek."
"Now look, Mivol. I've improved my powers in every way. Urragh!" Denphek grew to triple his height, and every other dimension increased accordingly. He looked down on his enemy of so many years. "You know, I don't think there's much to be gained from our fighting over and over like this. I'm going to give up this worthless feud."
A bold attack, but of course Reflector Mivol sent it back. "Really I could have handled several things better myself. Then we have to think about all the bandits around these days. They're arming themselves with starswords, if you can believe that. This town needs more protection than I can give it."
Long after, Growmasters and Reflectors remembered that battle as the purest expression of what it means to grow and reflect.
Finis
"So, Growmaster Denphek is back? I'll go see what he wants." The man who controlled everything in the town laughed. He knew already. How could he not?
They met halfway between the entry and the palace. Neither hurried or tarried, and at last they confronted each other, again. "Well, Mivol."
"Indeed, Denphek."
"Now look, Mivol. I've improved my powers in every way. Urragh!" Denphek grew to triple his height, and every other dimension increased accordingly. He looked down on his enemy of so many years. "You know, I don't think there's much to be gained from our fighting over and over like this. I'm going to give up this worthless feud."
A bold attack, but of course Reflector Mivol sent it back. "Really I could have handled several things better myself. Then we have to think about all the bandits around these days. They're arming themselves with starswords, if you can believe that. This town needs more protection than I can give it."
Long after, Growmasters and Reflectors remembered that battle as the purest expression of what it means to grow and reflect.
Finis
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