Addendum

You can use "unprepossessing" too, but your main character had better be a priest who solves crimes or something of that sort.

Describing Your Main Character

It's tricky, isn't it? Red hair or fiery red? Flashing eyes, glinting eyes, sparkling eyes, piercing eyes? That's what you might think, but you're wrong. The answer is "heroic." Heroic hair, heroic eyes, a heroic build and heroic height, heroic hands which end in heroic figures. Nobody actually pictures this stuff, they just want to know the guy's role in the story so they know whether to cast Sean Connery or old Sean Connery.

Approaches to Proselytization

One day came a prophet to the city who already in the country had inspired many followers, and he said, "Heed! He exists, the god who is called Ryabunav because of his thunder and because of his rain, Tulanav. As Ptiggo he causes the sun to rise and while Ohheph watches its setting, and between he is Xwud the judge. Heed the preventer of rout Quordn and Bhaeg the router! He gives to the faithful and takes from the unfaithful, and in either case he calculates perfectly, for he is Ithrew."
The people of the city listened and said this. "Who has more names than one?"
"An exile does."
"A criminal certainly. A heinous one who has been driven out from every other city."
"Think you rather that he is an indecisive god and childish? My son one day thinks he is a bull and the next a hound."
"Whoever he is, he will forgive me for refusing him my prayers, for I have not the time for them that are as lengthy as that."
The prophet withdrew among jeers such as those.
The following day, a prophet to the city came and spoke in this wise. "Heed the word of the mightiest god!" Then he shrugged. "But why should I speak of it? Likely you have never heard of him and are ignorant in all matters. Which road takes me to the next city?"
The people of the city, without exception, soon worshipped that god.
Finis

More Monster Problems

The issue with using rocs is that people will think you spelled rock wrong, and half the time they'll be right. Spellcheck exceptions are a dangerous thing.

Addendum

Centaur doesn't refer to King Cen, but maybe it should

Minotaur Musings

The only problem with minotaurs is that their name refers to King Minos, and not a single person cares.

Monster Musings

Would giants be more popular if giant weren't a general adjective? Think about it. Suppose you start your story in this wise: "Thraddeus had a giant sword and a bigger attitude." Whoa, settle down, Thraddeus! Anyway, the reader concludes he has a big sword. But what if the story has giants in it? Now there's ambiguity. Did he steal the sword from a giant? Did a giant give it to him as a sign of friendship and receive a bracelet he wears as a ring? Minotaurs don't have this problem.

Special Word

If you want the cool people to know you, too, are cool, make sure to include "hortatory" in your story. Just kidding. There's nothing cool about "hortatory." The real one is "contumacious."




Actually it's "disperse."

Joke Corner

Q. Why aren't there more horror science fiction stories?
A. Because they're post-scarity!
Q. There are quite a few horror science fiction stories.
A. Shut up.

Straight to the Top

"You have heard of the elevator. You have seen the space elevator. Now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the spacetime elevator." The inventor waved for the curtains to be pulled away from the model. That was the apex of his showmanship, but he was only an inventor, after all.
"The name is indicative, but what precisely does it do?" a judge asked.
"Very simple. Look. The passengers enter a car at the bottom. They ride up." During his narration, the model demonstrated the procedure. "They reach the top, but all the time they've been going up, they've been going back in time as well. That means that when they get there, the spacetime elevator hasn't been built yet, and the car goes . . ." The little model car plunged into the miniature ocean below and sank.
"Amazing! First prize!" The World Execution Expo judges admired the invention greatly, as did the wider community once word of it spread.
Finis