A Contemptible Industry

Board games are released with all these chits and miniatures these days and we expect people to buy a book with no add-ons, not even a detachable map and character dossiers like G.I. Joe. No wonder the people have given up on literacy.

The Expeditious Court

The minister approached the Great Decider with this problem.
"A space has opened in the Gold Bazaar. Which of these two merchants from the Silver Bazaar should be permitted there? One is of a respectable lineage and has never been accused of dishonesty. The other has faced complaints but defeated them; moreover, he contributed to the recent naval rebuilding." Saying that, he placed two tokens before the Great Decider, knelt, and waited.
A servant chosen for his muscle approached the Great Decider to give the thing a good spin. It revolved and revolved, at last stopping with the pointer on "left." The matter was decided.
"These decisions certainly go smoothly now," a functionary noted. "I wonder that anyone thinks a king to be necessary."
"But what if someday not just speed and impartiality but also perspicacious judgment is required?" his companion fretted, unaware how often a similar question occurred to subjects of kings with the sole difference that speed and impartiality made no appearance.
Finis

Another Marketing Failure

I don't see cooper as a fantasy profession too often, and I suspect the reason is that it doesn't sound at all like what it is. Contrast that with smiths or vintners. Admittedly I don't see many vintners, but I think we should all ignore that for the time being.

An Argument Against Orbital Bombardment

If your doomships can even achieve orbit, your space empire isn't cool enough. Quite frankly, planets should be orbiting them.

A Haunting Thought

Somewhere, a superintelligence is watching us, recording everything we do in its infinite memory, and putting us all in a tier list for the amusement of its fellow superintelligences. I don't think most of us are doing too hot.

How to Revive Science Fiction

Friends but in space. I don't mean a show like Friends, I mean reuse the scripts with computer-generated members of the cast wearing shirts with moons and rockets on them.

The Dire Warning of Highguard

The newest sensation seems not to be doing so hot. Since it has elements of both science fiction and fantasy, we'd better all switch over to alt history or romantic comedy for the next fifteen years or so. Keep your detailed settings under the pillow and await the changed wind.

An Observation on Recent Weather Patterns

Winter? More like wintest!

Intervention of the Dungeon Sage

Calamity! There was no other word for it outside of synonyms. Dozens of miners were trapped below, and worse than that, the mine might not resume operations for years. Owners and managers could do nothing but stand apart and compete in frowning.
"Pardon me." Normally people gawked without introducing themselves, but one look at this man precluded any idea he could be normal. "I came to investigate the new dungeon. Is that it over there?"
"Dungeon Sage Hesperno!"
"I suppose a mine could be used as a dungeon . . ."
"Please use your magic to make a stable new opening! And save the miners if it's convenient. Don't forget the opening, please!"
"If they're on the way. So that is the new dungeon?" Receiving confirmation, the sage advanced and, using proprietary techniques, descended. Within the day awed miners began emerging. Not more than a week later, Hesperno came out, wiped his hands, and sought the nearest owner.
"I've cleared everything out. Thank you for the nice dungeon. I liked the sorcerer-slug that was sinking curses into all the ore. It was different."
"The what?"
"It was a little exotic but not self-indulgent. Goodbye. I'll come back after you've expanded it some."
And so it transpired.
Finis

Warhammer 40k Seems to Be Doing Well These Days

Is it because it keeps having the same problems it's always had while other genre franchises have been trying to kill themselves as inventively as possible? Yes.