A Ceremony Often Practiced but Never Rehearsed

When people groaned the deepest at their subjection to Tyrant Winter, then arrived resplendent Youthful Spring who with one blow from his gleaming brand laid low the dreadful season.
"Rejoice, for again the time—"
"Watch out," the trembling people warned, and with reason. Tyrant Winter rose and shook himself as if checking for thorns stuck in his clothing.
"This sometimes happens," Youthful Spring assured them. He turned and with one smack from the ivy-wrapped hilt dropped the stubborn foe. "Now rejoice, for again—"
Again indeed, as screams from the people alerted him, but a roundhouse solved the problem, once. Then a knee to the stomach, and a throw, and soon Spring and Winter were locked in a grapple, the former demanding that the latter give up already, had he looked at a calendar? The people marveled to see the contest. From that they invented the sport of wrestling and the art of professional wrestling.
Finis

Addender

I was going to propose extractionlit, but, well, you know.

Addendum

They won't be noble at all, but let's throw our minor factions the bone of dignity, which costs nothing and can be chewed forever without being broken up.

The Next Subgenre

We've all been enjoying litRPG, but now it's time for sokolit. That's right, it's time to push blocks . . . in text! Different styles will emerge. Will pushing boxes be the inciting incident, a background feature, or will there be detailed descriptions of pushing techniques and thought processes? Purists, inevitably and sadly, can be nothing but a noble minority.

Orthography Corner

I decided to get to the bottom of this griffin/griffon/gryphon/grifter situation by asking an honest-to-goodness Greek guy who claimed they actually existed. When I asked him about the source of the griffin's name, he replied, "What griffin? Do you mean the gryps, you idiot? You buffoon? You animal-ignorant barbarian? Let's start a bit simpler. Tell me the name of that animal over there. The one that says 'woof woof.' Moron." So I dismissed him. That's why more people don't pursue necromancy today.

Urgent Warning!

Don't bother naming flowers in your descriptions, 'cause I ain't know what any of them are. Feel free to mention their colors, but only real ones, such as red, yellow, and that's about it as far as flowers go.

Implementing Historically Accurate Thieves' Guilds

If you ask me, the Chandlers are a thieves' guild, with these prices! Criminy! And the Coopers! And the Masons! They're insatiable! And what does it cost to bury someone these days? I can't even afford dying!

The Dynalian Tournament

The contest of warriors, when it was announced, fulfilled the people's expectations that the despot would take measures against the terrible Dynalian Gract which was doing such harm to his belongings, which were the entire country. Surely the strongest warrior could challenge the beast.
Willing to be relieved of their anxiety, crowds filled the stands to watch the many and doughty fighters compete against one another for the prize. Many were injured, some killed, but nothing daunted those men who had bravery as their first virtue, and often their last. Fame was on the auction block and blood was their bids.
On the final day, the despot himself attended, though he had been absent before. The champion, after his magnificent victory, strode to the spot under the great seat and shouted up, "Where now is the Dynalian Gract? I will slay it. It will be no harder I think than winning this contest!"
"It is here!" The despot leapt up and hurled down a sack he had next to him, and from the sack tumbled the monster's grim head. "You may have that as your trophy, since you are so eager to have it. Your second prize will be wealth, your third a weapon unsurpassed, and the fourth your liberty, for this exercise has given the results combats between men of unequal experience levels, a 14 versus a 17, a 21 versus a 33. I have reckoned from them how near someone may come to my level and go unexiled, and I tell you that none of you are close to it!" All trembled at the despot's mastery.

Finis

Addendum

I've never heard of a visduke, but I see no reason there couldn't be one. Or two who bicker humorously during slow moments.

Rise of the Nobility

I think it's been long enough since the last dog named "Duke" died that you can use that title and expect it to be taken seriously. Don't forget the variations: Grand Duke, Serene Duke, Ultra Duke, Cosmo Duke, Dire Duke, Blink Duke.