An Experiment in Horror

Weird tales of a certain sort rely on subtle feelings of wrongness and such. I wasn't convinced that's actually scary, but I know better than to allow my beliefs to go untested. That's why I made sure the Flash Sunday post would be up on Sunday. It certainly was an eerie and offputting circumstance, and I felt the full impact of non-Euclidean post timing as if from some alien world known perhaps to our ancestors but distorted by myth, for no human intellect could fathom it. I suppose it's impossible for me to tell if I've gone insane, but I'm definitely not terrified. The experience has merely confirmed me in my resolve to post at a different time next week, the equivalent of nudging a picture so that it looks straight though in fact it already was.

The Character of a Conqueror

"My councilors, I have decided to apportion my land among my sons. There will also be a little for my nephews."
"Your Majesty! If you split this immense empire you have created, surely the recipients will each try to attain the supreme position, to say nothing of envious foreigners who will grab as much as they can in our weakness! There can be nothing after your proposal but harvests of war and treachery."
The habit of the great man was to trust his own judgment. Those he had elevated to be his advisors said nothing worthless, and after directing his mind at the objection, he came to agree with it. "I almost made an absurd error. Instead of disposing of the empire in my will, I will divide it now, abdicate, and watch over the chaos. I might write a few poems about battles. The better ones."
Finis

Oft Overlooked Tendency in Pre-Modern Societies

In most times, in most places, and in most stories, people gave or exchanged presents. Often. Even when they maybe shouldn't have, what with all the curses and such. When writing fantasy, try to remember the last time one of your characters gave another something.

De-Archaisizing

I bet if you throw "erst" in, people will get what it means. I'm starting to think "erstwhile" was a mistake altogether. Let's look for more words of that type to use and stand out thereby.

Technology Defeats Itself

In the future, we'll be able to play different sports on the floor, ceiling, and walls of a gym simultaneously, but we won't have to because of the practically infinite room available in space. This is only one example explaining why we don't do everything we could, but it suffices to teach the inherent tragedy of the human condition.

Upcoming Job Opportunities

Soon we'll all have productive work throwing pails of water on people to simulate rain in ships and colonies so that we don't succumb to space madness. Innovators will get ahead by finding ways to get people to sneeze during terrestrial allergy season and rig sirens to play during simulated night.

The Hardships of Life in Space

During the clothes-drying hour, the station will have to spin really fast, which will disrupt ongoing backgammon games, not to mention the near-constant touch football required to stave off muscle deterioration.

An Everyday Incident, Oddly

A man with hopes was hurrying along the road, but not with such hurry that he continued under the sudden rain. He found a shed at some distance from which he might wait it out, apologizing to the owner for any mess silently and remotely.
From the half-open door he could see the road and far beyond, then the road, then little at all, so thick was the rain and so dark the clouds which made the day a second night. Therefore he doubted he saw a company march down the road opposite his former direction; he doubted, but he shrank back and closed the door by a quarter. He was not so disturbed that he stopped watching.
He doubted even more his interpretation of what succeeded, for he thought that the figures (to call them "people" seemed a presumption) produced shovels or trowels and dug into the road, whereupon one brought forward a sapling and set it there. The figures joined in patting down the upturned soil though the road was paved. They then stood back.
The sapling grew swiftly into a full tree, or something with branches, and the figures waited under those branches, arms upstretched, save for one among them who withdrew a few paces. Above the waiting planters, nuts grew, and then the nuts were swords, and then the swords fell to impale the figures below. But not the one who withdrew; to him the tree bowed. The lone figure stepped forward, removed something from the crown of the tree, turned, and returned up the road. Behind him, the tree bowed lower, touched the ground, and dissolved.
The man, hopeful but not audacious, did not stir till the clouds cleared, or for a time after, but everyone must see to his own affairs. He went on. When first he came across another person, a local he supposed, he wondered whether to inquire about the scene. A decision however was unneeded, for somewhere in his manner or voice as he greeted the local was cause for the latter to smile and ask, "You've had a time, haven't you? Was it the tree, the procession? Else?"
"It may have been a tree."
"Ha! That's the right way to put it."
The local passed by, laughing. Perceiving he intended to say nothing more, the man tried to continue the conversation but had this as the response. "No, it's good news! Good news for you, be glad, but you have to keep going!"
The man did reach his destination. There he did receive the position he hoped to have. Whether the scene during the storm was a portent he never knew, though he thought on it from time to time.
Finis

The Future of Valentine's Day

This will be the day when the reproduction chambers are activated. It won't be terribly romantic, but you'll be far too dead and replaced by a conditioned ultra-citizen to care.

Mapmaking Tip

Draw it in crayon so people will assume your niece did it and not be too critical or think much about distances.