Ruins of the Good Old Lost Age

Your fantasy characters found something which informs the audience this is a post-apocalyptic story! You hack! But what is it? Unearth your random number generator, a technology soon to be lost in the flames, and find out.

1. Television set
2. Gas station
3. Gun
4. Office building
5. Modern doctor's office
6. Gun (futuristic)
7. Library
8. Lincoln Memorial
~~~Bonus chance! Pick twelve countries from an atlas and roll again, then look up twelve landmarks and roll a third time.~~~
9. Amazon warehouse
10. Tank
11. Scuba gear
12. Fancy modern bow

The twelfth would be the most impressive to your characters, but that doesn't mean they should get it. Life's funny that way.

Addendum

We'll reuse the cover as well aside from adding the name of the expansion to it. "So what?" I heard that! Certainly covers today are disposable and mostly ugly, but knowing that we'll be getting more out of them, we'll invest more. We might even go so far as to make it look like something in the book, though quite frankly that's liable to decrease sales.

Sequels Take Too Long

We all know examples. I'll pass over them and get straight to the solution: Expansion packs. Why should a sequel be as long as the original? Or be written by the same author? And not come with a balance patch? To ask is to realize we've been caught up in foolish convention this entire time.

Addendum

Obviously the surface will be coated with glue so the aliens get stuck when they land, but much also will be written of the Mousetraps of Mars.

The Ultimate Fate of Mars

Sorry Mars, but we're going to have to turn you into a fake Earth so that aliens will attack that one instead. I'm sure you understand.

An Unconventional Form of Direct Subsidy

When every other method failed, the lonely subject of Huthany had recourse to the professional matchmaker. One suffering heart had a recommendation from no less a personage than Commodore Frangest. "Uncle Teddy's the one you want to see. New in the field, but has resources beyond most."
This person was not to stubborn to accept advice and therefore took himself to Uncle Teddy's store; the fact that such existed already impressed. A secretary, another surprise, took his name and entered the depths soon to be replaced by Uncle Teddy himself holding a sheaf of papers, a sight which astonished for several reasons.
"I see you completed militia service and are adequately tall. Excellent. I'll put you with someone nice and tall forthwith."
"May I ask a question?"
"Certainly."
"Aren't you, I hope this doesn't sound absurd, the king?"
"We are Theodoric IV, correct. Now I expect a pregnancy reported within eight months or else there will be additional fee for wasting our time."
"Your Majesty, why, I beg upon your mercy leave to ask a second question, why are you working as a matchmaker?"
"You noticed everyone's height in the militia of course. Nothing is more strategically important. Two inches taller at the minimum, three inches at the average, and no army on the continent will match ours," the king explained. "We are not unreasonable however. No penalty fee applies should your children fail to measure up. If, on the contrary, you produce acceptable army candidates, you will receive a bounty per head. It's amazing we can stay in business, but you'd be a fool not to take advantage."
"I do see that, Your Majesty."
Finis

Addendum

If it's a magical talking mace, give each flange a different personality. Perhaps they're former wielders, the sages who gave their lives to infuse it with power, or the villains it was created to vanquish.

How to Make Maces Cool

Concentrate on the flanges. Interchangeable flanges for different kinds of creatures, legendary flanges which require a quest to collect, oversized flanges that scream and drip blood. The principle is the same as that behind a baseball bat with nails in it.

Challenging Literature

If you call every country in your setting an empire, people will struggle to figure out which is the bad one. Get ready for all the awards that'll pour in!

The Problem With Being Trapped in an Online Game

It was plausible you could survive in an MMORPG, but nowadays you'd be trapped in Fortnite or Marvel Rivals and be dead in seconds.