The Puzzle at the Core

A kingdom once suffered from a terrible drought. The king sent a letter to the king of the moon, asking if he could see anything wrong with the weather from up there. The response suggested that the rainclouds he wanted were gathered around Mt. Hustis to the north.
The king went himself to investigate. The clouds there told him this: "We wish to continue on to your kingdom and other lands, but a strange creature asks a question of everyone who tries to pass, even us, turning aside those who get it wrong, as all do."
The king challenged the creature without delay, for at his side he had councilors wise in riddles.
"You wish to pass?" asked the beast, a terrible thing which had two hands, two claws, and two pincers at the end of its mighty arms, and four distinct tails beside. "Then give me the right answer. Where are my glasses? I can't find them anywhere."
"They're on that," the king said while pointing to a flat rock he had passed earlier.
"Oh, thank you. You may pass."
"I would rather the rains pass instead. But tell me, what is the use in asking clouds for help? They cannot see."
"Neither can they speak."
"Ah! That is true!" Starting then the king began to question the nature of the local clouds, leading to consequences unforseeable and widely felt.
Finis

Magic Words

Remember silly magic words and phrases? I don't see much of those nowadays, and that means it's time to bring them back. Specifically, for you to bring them back. I won't be participating.

Guild Wars 3

Guild Wars 3! And it's a prequel! That seems like a terrible idea! I'm not excited about it at all! Go play Guild Wars instead.

Addendum

Now in games it's different so long as you still get XP, which is why Dragon Quest XII can stride confidently.

The Core Problem With Dream Sequences

Many dislike dreams in fantasy and science fiction. Who, and how many exactly? Shut up. Anyway, in a modern materialistic setting, dreams are comparatively fanciful. In fantasy or science fiction, the stuff in them can simply happen, perhaps in the holodeck or fairy world. If anything, fantasy/scifi dreams often seem mundane, and who wants a mundane interruption in the middle of his thrilling and thought-provoking speculative fiction narrative? Many, but possibly fewer than the many mentioned earlier.

Addendum

In the future that feature can expand to allow people to swap your book with a better one, so please look forward to it.

Needed E-Reader Feature

In most books, changing every member of x fantasy race into y fantasy race wouldn't affect much, for which reason that ought to be a toggle included in the device itself. Writers can indicate the level of race-swap compatibility in a file included with the text.

Grass Never Greener

A few poorly aimed blasts down the corridor discouraged the lizron troopers from approaching without more support, which was all Tim Shelton could think to do. "I can't believe I'm stuck dying with you of all people."
"Go right ahead, but I won't be reciprocating." With a final application of his genuine technical skills typically put to less scrupulous purposes, Chester Leffaud brought the strange machine to life. "Now, to which dimension would you like to escape?"
Tim scrambled into the nearer seat. "A peaceful one! Have it find us the one where the best girl always wins!"
"Finally, a sign of real taste." Chester slid into his own seat and instructed the onboard computer. The dislocation effect enfolded the dimension-traveling vehicle just in time to deflect the weapons of the most daring lizrons who burst into the room. The two men waved as the technological marvel faded and disappeared.
*******
Their destination exhibited some differences from the typical alternative dimension. For instance, there was nothing but a wide platform and beyond it a phenomenon which ancient inherited survival instincts not needed for millions of years recognized as the true void. A good third of the platform was occupied by an array of pillars and spires which varied in thickness and height, some a risk to unshod feet and others fit to moor a zeppelin, supposing any still existed out there among the dimensions.
The pillars spoke. At least, several among them became alternately light and dim in a sequence which matched the rising and falling tones of the disembodied voice the men heard. "There is no such dimension as that which you strove to reach. There is much else that is similarly flawed, all because of the calamity which sent the totality of existence down the wrong path. Become Dimensional Guardians, and with you as my agents we can at last begin to set right that ancient mistake."
There was no hesitation from either man.
Finis

Addendum

Also, definitely be working on a children's book.

Fake Swearing and Such

To check if your invented words and phrases of an impolite nature have real bite, post them in forums, Twitch chat, etc. and see how often you get banned. Never? Save that one for your children's book.