To Rejoin Society

One day, three travelers came to the Abdal Springs, and all for the same reason. The caretaker explained the ways of the place.
"There are three chambers here to contain three springs with these properties. One cleanses the pollution of great crimes, one of moderate crimes, and one of petty crimes. Decide yourself which suits you."
The three went each to his own choice, and the caretaker spoke to each when he emerged.
"You chose the great spring for all that no one else would judge your crime to be so enormous as that. There is evidence of a humble and conscientious understanding, and you will be blessed for it."
"You chose the small spring for your small crime. Your perception is unclouded even regarding yourself, the obscurest subject, and you will be blessed for it."
"You chose the middle spring, proof that your way is to find what is easiest. The spring was free, you heard moderation is commendable, and with that decided there was no need to consult remorse, moral judgment, a sense of social responsibility, or anything else that is hard. Your pollution is washed away, but the cloud which hangs about dullards hangs thick on you. You will be the happiest of all."
Finis

Terrestrial Transition

When the generation/hibernation ship gets to the planet and the colony starts, the captain gets to be mayor, right? But it's a purely symbolic position, right? It would be a shame for him to have nothing just because there isn't anything left for him to do. They can even name the capitol after him and force children to memorize it.

Ruins of the Good Old Lost Age

Your fantasy characters found something which informs the audience this is a post-apocalyptic story! You hack! But what is it? Unearth your random number generator, a technology soon to be lost in the flames, and find out.

1. Television set
2. Gas station
3. Gun
4. Office building
5. Modern doctor's office
6. Gun (futuristic)
7. Library
8. Lincoln Memorial ~~~Bonus chance! Pick twelve countries from an atlas and roll again, then look up twelve landmarks and roll a third time.~~~
9. Amazon warehouse
10. Tank
11. Scuba gear
12. Fancy modern bow

The twelfth would be the most impressive to your characters, but that doesn't mean they should get it. Life's funny that way.

Addendum

We'll reuse the cover as well aside from adding the name of the expansion to it. "So what?" I heard that! Certainly covers today are disposable and mostly ugly, but knowing that we'll be getting more out of them, we'll invest more. We might even go so far as to make it look like something in the book, though quite frankly that's liable to decrease sales.

Sequels Take Too Long

We all know examples. I'll pass over them and get straight to the solution: Expansion packs. Why should a sequel be as long as the original? Or be written by the same author? And not come with a balance patch? To ask is to realize we've been caught up in foolish convention this entire time.

Addendum

Obviously the surface will be coated with glue so the aliens get stuck when they land, but much also will be written of the Mousetraps of Mars.

The Ultimate Fate of Mars

Sorry Mars, but we're going to have to turn you into a fake Earth so that aliens will attack that one instead. I'm sure you understand.

An Unconventional Form of Direct Subsidy

When every other method failed, the lonely subject of Huthany had recourse to the professional matchmaker. One suffering heart had a recommendation from no less a personage than Commodore Frangest. "Uncle Teddy's the one you want to see. New in the field, but has resources beyond most."
This person was not to stubborn to accept advice and therefore took himself to Uncle Teddy's store; the fact that such existed already impressed. A secretary, another surprise, took his name and entered the depths soon to be replaced by Uncle Teddy himself holding a sheaf of papers, a sight which astonished for several reasons.
"I see you completed militia service and are adequately tall. Excellent. I'll put you with someone nice and tall forthwith."
"May I ask a question?"
"Certainly."
"Aren't you, I hope this doesn't sound absurd, the king?"
"We are Theodoric IV, correct. Now I expect a pregnancy reported within eight months or else there will be additional fee for wasting our time."
"Your Majesty, why, I beg upon your mercy leave to ask a second question, why are you working as a matchmaker?"
"You noticed everyone's height in the militia of course. Nothing is more strategically important. Two inches taller at the minimum, three inches at the average, and no army on the continent will match ours," the king explained. "We are not unreasonable however. No penalty fee applies should your children fail to measure up. If, on the contrary, you produce acceptable army candidates, you will receive a bounty per head. It's amazing we can stay in business, but you'd be a fool not to take advantage."
"I do see that, Your Majesty."
Finis

Addendum

If it's a magical talking mace, give each flange a different personality. Perhaps they're former wielders, the sages who gave their lives to infuse it with power, or the villains it was created to vanquish.

How to Make Maces Cool

Concentrate on the flanges. Interchangeable flanges for different kinds of creatures, legendary flanges which require a quest to collect, oversized flanges that scream and drip blood. The principle is the same as that behind a baseball bat with nails in it.