The Future of Trading Card Games

A trading card game that's a crossover of all trading card games so that every trading card game is an advertisement for every other trading card game, multiplying the audience of trading card games outrageously.

Scenery Description

Don't think you have to describe everything equally. If you want to describe pens for three pages each, go right ahead. Add some character to your writing. Cut most of it before you publish it of course. Then offer extended pen descriptions as Patreon incentives. That's modern literature.

Joke Corner

Zero Company? More like zero sales! No, that's too obvious. More like bankrupt company! Well, it's better. This is all an exercise which in no way is intended to describe the actual success of the game, which we're sure will do fine.

The Capital Council

Within the fastness of Haug Heikur was a chamber which none but the master may open. In it were kept eight heads of men long dead which by sorcerous means were preserved and compelled to answer questions put to them in full candor.
This is known when little else of what goes on in that dismal citadel is, for its master Affjesarr boasts often of the excellent advice he had always at hand. One day when Affjesarr again vaunted his chamber, the man Pyolurr furthered a reputation he had won for cleverness.
"Had I occasion to assemble a council, I should prefer men who had not suffered so signal a reduction with regard to their persons."
Within the fastness of Haug Heikur is a chamber which none but the master may open. In it are kept nine heads of men long dead.
Finis

Lunar Obsolescence

The traditional solution to the moon's disappearance is to wait a day, but after the court wizard has solved the sun problem, maybe he should build a moon that isn't on the fritz.

Solar Obsolescence

Traditionally the solution to prevent the sun from being extinguished was human sacrifice, but it might be better to launch a new one every ten years or so. Your court wizard can figure out the details, if he wants to keep his position that is.

Secret Club, Open Invitation

To let people know you're cool, include the keyword "ichor" in your story. With confidence. And insouciance.

Addendum

The preceding advice is for readers as well as writers. To extend it, for each author you read, maintain a .txt file full of his favorite words so you can make fun of him for it on the internet.

Writing Tip

Keep a file called "opulence.txt" or similar and write in the names of gemstones, fancy rocks, and various fabrics so you don't have to go looking it up every time you want to describe a fancy palace or, even worse, call it "opulent" and hope nobody makes fun of you for not being fluent in the language of luxurious display.

Speaking of Demon Swords

If those exists, there's probably a census category for them. Gonna want to keep track of that for sure.