Animal Comparisons

When you think about it, humans are mice to giants' rats. But then what are hobbits? More littler mice? Meeces? We have to figure out who the good guys are by Redwall rules.

Monster Musings

Would giants be more popular if giant weren't a general adjective? Think about it. Suppose you start your story in this wise: "Thraddeus had a giant sword and a bigger attitude." Whoa, settle down, Thraddeus! Anyway, the reader concludes he has a big sword. But what if the story has giants in it? Now there's ambiguity. Did he steal the sword from a giant? Did a giant give it to him as a sign of friendship and receive a bracelet he wears as a ring? Minotaurs don't have this problem.

Addendum

Some of you are going to jump straight to triple giants. How about some restraint? Come on. It won't mean as much until you lay the groundwork.

Supercharge Your Fantasy

What's bigger than giants? Giant giants, or as the elves name them, double giants. Your hero's going to have a tough time with one of those until they become friends after a humorous action sequence.

The Lessons of Giants

Once upon a time, a woodcutter lived in a kingdom that declared all the remaining forest a royal preserve. Deprived of his livelihood, he sold his ax, his house, and after that he had nothing left to sell. He wandered then and knew not whither he went. One day, while the growling of his stomach distracted him, he stumbled upon something. He looked down and marveled, and looked up and marveled even more, for he had, without meaning to, found the end of a glittering rainbow.
Then steps he heard, steps that shook the world, and a giant appeared. The giant greeted him in this way. "Hallo there, sir. What luck this is, finding a rainbow here. I was needing something to tire around a present for my honey. Now just you watch this." So saying, the giant grabbed the rainbow and tied it around a package, which explained why it was called a rainbow in the first place. He tipped his hat to the woodcutter and walked away, whistling.
The woodcutter admired the giant's technique so much that he practiced it with grass and vines until he had it about right. Then he went to the nearest town and became famous for his present-wrapping. Even the king came to have his gifts prepared in the most charming fashion. The woodcutter became a wealthy man, because of the pot of gold of course, and he had a hobby too, which made him almost as happy.
Finis

The Future of Fantasy

We've had enough dark fantasy. It's time for smark fantasy. That's right, secondary world professional wrestling. Think of the gimmicks! The giant guy could be an actual giant. That's all. That's the only extra gimmick. Except for . . . Mummies! I was lying before, because there are many options.

Rainbow Repair

When the news came to Evwig Quarterhand in his hall that the rainbow had again come to such a state that those above must send out for the stone to repair it, he smiled at it and laughed. He was a giant, and more than that a miser who never gave as much as he could but only a fourth of it, and had his name for that. Many times an emissary of those above had gotten more from him than he meant to lose, and so he thought this way. "Nebal Trackless must come to me, and he will pay the penalty after I trap him. As for red stone and yellow stone, there is much, but nowhere but in my hall is there orange stone left from when the world was different."
He waited then, but Nebal Trackless came not, nor any other emissary. Besides being a giant and a miser, he was impatient too, and so he went out to see the state of things. He traveled but a short way before he saw what he could not believe, which was orange stone being hauled through the valley towards the rainbow under the eye of Nebal Trackless.
"How can this be? There is no orange stone but mine." So he said, angered.
"You sound angry, Evwig Quarterhand, but why? The first thought I had when I found this stone was how glad you would be not to be pestered for yours."
The giant touched the stone with iron and silver, but it remained orange stone. "It is unlike mine, I am sure. It is not true orange stone."
Nabel Trackless laughed with great mirth. "It is the same! Or could you tell the difference between them if you brought yours out?"
"I could." And so it was done that Evwig hauled out all the orange stone that he had, for he was strong even among giants, and placed it next to Nabel's. He then closed his eyes and felt the stone as it was brought to him, and licked it, and said whether it was his or otherwise. And each block was marked accordingly.
"Open your eyes so we may learn what is true," Nabel Trackless said, and in Evwig Quarterhand's view he poured water over the stones. And behold, every block that Evwig said was not true orange stone turned green under the water. Nabel laughed again. "Yes, you were right. This is green stone that I painted as a joke. Now I will take it away."
Evwig watched him do it, suspicious he meant some thievery still. But Nabel did as he said, so that Evwig Quarterhand grunted and wondered what the meaning of it was, and only then did he recall that Nabel had poured water only over the blocks marked as false. He poured it over his own stone, and felt it, and tasted it, and learned that it was cheese.
Sogki Twobones happened by then and clapped Evwig Quarterhand on the shoulder. "I heard it from Nabel Trackless but never believed it, that you became a trader of skill! But I see you have all this cheese in fee for your orange stone, worthless as it is except to those above, and I know he was right in what he said. He grumbled at the price, I tell you." And from that day all knew that Evwig was called Quarterhand because he made fourfold profits, but he scowled when he heard that said of him.
Finis

What To Do With Giants?

Mostly they should be killed by knights, but there are other options.

1) Where do giants come from? Genetic engineering.
2) Where do humans come from? Once upon a time all people were giants who lived 800 years, but then . . .
3) If some humans turn into wolves, what kinds of transformations might giants have? Dinosaurs?
4) In a faraway country, they say in each community one person grows into a giant and becomes the chief.
5) Giant bodies mean giant magic, idiot.

You gotta pay me if you use any of those, but they're worth it. You can tell just by looking.

Fantasy-Wide Alert

It seems Guild Wars 2 has ended all dragons. Switch to giants immediately. I repeat, switch to giants now.