Saturday, July 31, 2021
Don't Get Any Ideas
Raising corpses is going to be ultra-illegal pretty much everywhere, you aspiring necromancers, you.
Friday, July 30, 2021
A Legal Question
Is being a demon king even illegal? How about trying to become a god? Reactivating ancient war machines? Suppose you awaken a lich from his thousand-year slumber, what kind of fine are we looking at?
Thursday, July 29, 2021
The New Golden Age of Mystery
Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and Tears of Themis? Lawyer-detectives are everywhere these days, so be on your guard.
Wednesday, July 28, 2021
Getting Inspiration From Current Events
New scifi idea: Great Space Attorney. How do I come up with these things?
Tuesday, July 27, 2021
Increase the Fantasy
You've put all your islands in the sky and made every sword magic. You think you're all done fantastasizing your world. Consider this, though: Dire purple. Underwednesday. No'on.
Monday, July 26, 2021
Unseen Guests
I accepted the invitation to stay at Fernley House against the warnings of my friends on the basis that their warnings, while both sincere and repeatedly urged, lacked specifics, and therefore appeared vague next to the much more detailed fact that my recent labors had quite prepared me for a period of rest and relaxation at some charming country estate such as even my friends allowed Fernley House to be.
After a trip which gave no reason to record it, I was welcomed most hospitably and spent an affable afternoon with the host and other guests whose names, I am sure all will agree, I ought not to expose to public attention without more cause than I have. Afterwards, I was shown to my room, which impressed me by its size as I calculated it based on the length between its door and the next. The other doors in that hall, I noticed, were similarly distant from one another. I asked the servant who had conducted me there, who shall also remain unidentified, if the rooms were truly so large as they appeared.
"Not at all, sir. They are only half the size you think. The other half is taken up by, well, the 'other room,' sir."
I am not unacquainted with the ways of the world, I think, and yet I had at that time no clue what the man might mean. I inquired further.
"The 'other room,' sir. For the 'other you' as well as the 'other guests.' We certainly cannot neglect their accommodations, can we? But do not concern yourself, sir. You are quite unable to reach the doors to their rooms, just as they, yours. I hope you have a good night, sir."
Feeling no more informed, I entered my room, which lacked nothing as far as amenities or comfort. I attempted to sleep, and I succeeded despite my suspicions I would not. However, I was awakened several times during the night by sounds such as voices and thumps which I do not care to describe out of an inability to do so first, and second out of concern for the sensibilities of any who might read this. Suffice it to say I would not have been surprised to hear of a corpse or even a scandal the next day, but nothing of the sort came to my attention. My excursion continued pleasantly enough, though I suspected from their expressions and mannerisms that some of the other guests had also experienced a troubling night.
When my stay came to an end, the host told me he was always unsure which guest truly left, between the one he had invited and the 'other you.' He then laughed and said of course both left together by necessity, and that I should think nothing more of it, which of course caused me to worry when I had no reason to before.
Nevertheless, I resumed my accustomed occupation and over time all but forgot the incident till years later, when I happened to find myself to Duke S_, who had been a guest at Fernley House at the same time as I. We talked of nothing important, as people do when there is a topic they fear to broach. Eventually Duke S_ exercised the privilege of his profession and asked what I thought of that 'other you' business.
"At the least," I responded, "I take solace in the assurance that 'me' is in fact 'other.'"
"Quite right, that is something, isn't it. Glad I asked."
Even so, I sometimes wonder what sort of life the 'other me' leads, and I shudder.
Finis
After a trip which gave no reason to record it, I was welcomed most hospitably and spent an affable afternoon with the host and other guests whose names, I am sure all will agree, I ought not to expose to public attention without more cause than I have. Afterwards, I was shown to my room, which impressed me by its size as I calculated it based on the length between its door and the next. The other doors in that hall, I noticed, were similarly distant from one another. I asked the servant who had conducted me there, who shall also remain unidentified, if the rooms were truly so large as they appeared.
"Not at all, sir. They are only half the size you think. The other half is taken up by, well, the 'other room,' sir."
I am not unacquainted with the ways of the world, I think, and yet I had at that time no clue what the man might mean. I inquired further.
"The 'other room,' sir. For the 'other you' as well as the 'other guests.' We certainly cannot neglect their accommodations, can we? But do not concern yourself, sir. You are quite unable to reach the doors to their rooms, just as they, yours. I hope you have a good night, sir."
Feeling no more informed, I entered my room, which lacked nothing as far as amenities or comfort. I attempted to sleep, and I succeeded despite my suspicions I would not. However, I was awakened several times during the night by sounds such as voices and thumps which I do not care to describe out of an inability to do so first, and second out of concern for the sensibilities of any who might read this. Suffice it to say I would not have been surprised to hear of a corpse or even a scandal the next day, but nothing of the sort came to my attention. My excursion continued pleasantly enough, though I suspected from their expressions and mannerisms that some of the other guests had also experienced a troubling night.
When my stay came to an end, the host told me he was always unsure which guest truly left, between the one he had invited and the 'other you.' He then laughed and said of course both left together by necessity, and that I should think nothing more of it, which of course caused me to worry when I had no reason to before.
Nevertheless, I resumed my accustomed occupation and over time all but forgot the incident till years later, when I happened to find myself to Duke S_, who had been a guest at Fernley House at the same time as I. We talked of nothing important, as people do when there is a topic they fear to broach. Eventually Duke S_ exercised the privilege of his profession and asked what I thought of that 'other you' business.
"At the least," I responded, "I take solace in the assurance that 'me' is in fact 'other.'"
"Quite right, that is something, isn't it. Glad I asked."
Even so, I sometimes wonder what sort of life the 'other me' leads, and I shudder.
Finis
Sunday, July 25, 2021
Saturday, July 24, 2021
Thursday, July 22, 2021
Genuine Innovation
Instead of Book 2 or Volume II, try Book 1+1. Then you can penetrate minor damage resistance with it.
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
Q&A
Q. What defines the mecha genre?
A. Pilots yelling at each other.
Q. What is the most essential component of a mecha story?
A. The part where there are two reticles that go "beep beep beep" and then they overlap and go "beeeeep" and the pilot shoots.
A. Pilots yelling at each other.
Q. What is the most essential component of a mecha story?
A. The part where there are two reticles that go "beep beep beep" and then they overlap and go "beeeeep" and the pilot shoots.
Sunday, July 18, 2021
Fountain of Colors
"Pink for births, black for deaths, red for storms and lightning. Today it's green, and we aren't sure what that means. We got our theories, though."
"What are your theories?"
The locals never tired of telling travelers about their theories. The fountain was their favorite landmark, though most non-locals thought the bell tower more impressive. One had to stay in Choices long enough to see the fountain change color to be won over, after all.
"There's those that say it means rain without lightning, though they call it green sometimes when it looks blue to me. I heard another that it meant somebody came up with a good new joke, but the last time they went together, I happened to know that Lal took that joke from Bur. Then there's those what say it happens on days when a big decision gets made, like when we decided to put up the bell tower. It was green then."
The young man to whom the other travelers seemed to defer smiled. "Is that why this city's named Choices, then?"
"Nah, that's because Opi Last Choice founded the city. He was called that because his father liked him the least is how it was, but he lived longer than his brothers. He put in that fountain though when he built his house, you can see it there to the side, and green was the color he liked, so that's part of the theory, that the fountain's honoring the founder." The local pointed at the Choice house while he talked and jabbed his finger toward the green banners that decorated it.
"That's enough for me to believe it," the head traveler said. He took a coin from inside his shirt and hurled it at the fountain, saying, "I'll make up my mind today if you tell me to, fountain."
The coin hit the water and the fountain water flared up high, startling everyone in the plaza. The water turned purple too, which nobody in Choices remembered seeing. The young traveler kneeled, and so did his fellows, and then everyone there because it seemed like the right thing to do, or at least not the wrong thing.
Decades later, long after the pretender's death, the king visited the city with his little son and dunked that prince right in the fountain. The locals had no idea if that was a good idea or not, but the water turned purple again, which was probably auspicious. Later kings maintained that custom and still do right up to this very day, though it caused problems on a couple occasions.
Finis
"What are your theories?"
The locals never tired of telling travelers about their theories. The fountain was their favorite landmark, though most non-locals thought the bell tower more impressive. One had to stay in Choices long enough to see the fountain change color to be won over, after all.
"There's those that say it means rain without lightning, though they call it green sometimes when it looks blue to me. I heard another that it meant somebody came up with a good new joke, but the last time they went together, I happened to know that Lal took that joke from Bur. Then there's those what say it happens on days when a big decision gets made, like when we decided to put up the bell tower. It was green then."
The young man to whom the other travelers seemed to defer smiled. "Is that why this city's named Choices, then?"
"Nah, that's because Opi Last Choice founded the city. He was called that because his father liked him the least is how it was, but he lived longer than his brothers. He put in that fountain though when he built his house, you can see it there to the side, and green was the color he liked, so that's part of the theory, that the fountain's honoring the founder." The local pointed at the Choice house while he talked and jabbed his finger toward the green banners that decorated it.
"That's enough for me to believe it," the head traveler said. He took a coin from inside his shirt and hurled it at the fountain, saying, "I'll make up my mind today if you tell me to, fountain."
The coin hit the water and the fountain water flared up high, startling everyone in the plaza. The water turned purple too, which nobody in Choices remembered seeing. The young traveler kneeled, and so did his fellows, and then everyone there because it seemed like the right thing to do, or at least not the wrong thing.
Decades later, long after the pretender's death, the king visited the city with his little son and dunked that prince right in the fountain. The locals had no idea if that was a good idea or not, but the water turned purple again, which was probably auspicious. Later kings maintained that custom and still do right up to this very day, though it caused problems on a couple occasions.
Finis
Double Addendum
However, if pinball doesn't exist in your setting, have somebody invent it. This is important.
Friday, July 16, 2021
Addendum
Please note that jigsaw puzzles may be swapped out for other kinds of puzzles available in the setting.
Thursday, July 15, 2021
Hobby and Interest Table
Your characters probably care about things other than adventure and subverting expectations, but you don't. What can you do besides prepare some sort of random number-generating device and entrust yourself to fortune?
1. Puppet shows
2. Swimming
3. Natural philosophy
4. Pinball
5. Tickling
6. Folk dancing
7. Tragedy
8. Horse racing
9. Jigsaw puzzles
10. Watching people sleep
11. Falconry
12. Calligraphy
1. Puppet shows
2. Swimming
3. Natural philosophy
4. Pinball
5. Tickling
6. Folk dancing
7. Tragedy
8. Horse racing
9. Jigsaw puzzles
10. Watching people sleep
11. Falconry
12. Calligraphy
A Note for Newcomers
Don't worry, there aren't 29 previous Super Robot Wars games. There are far, far more.
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
And People Thought Pangloss Was Dumb
Super Robot Wars 30 is available for preorder on Steam. Who's the dummy now?
Monday, July 12, 2021
Clarification
So let me get this straight. It's called Super Robot Wars 30, but it doesn't have 30 shows? I see. It won't have 30 stages either, will it? 62 or some ungodly number like that, no doubt. At least let us upgrade bars 30 times.
Dreams of Steel
One day a certain king of a certain land summoned all his priests to his court to his interpret his dream, as it seemed to him portentous. In the dream, he stood atop the castle, on the very highest point while winds blew about his stately robes, and raised his right arm. Then appeared to him a pillar of darkness taller than the castle, and he heard a voice telling him the sentinel of steel had arrived. He asked what this might mean.
The priests conferred with one another and whatever gods listened to them and reported that the interpretation of the dream was simple. The king needed to build a giant robot.
"What is that?" the king asked, and none knew. They insisted, however, the gods had told them that with no room for mistakes or mishearing.
Bewildered but pious, the king ordered all his smiths and craftsmen to build a giant robot. They had no more idea than he what that might mean, but they went to their tables and forges regardless and took up their tools. Miraculous to say, the gods guided their hands for days upon days of measuring, cutting, shaping, and smoothing. For months they worked, and at the end they had fabricated a steel giant with arms like round towers and a kingly crown on its head.
The king inspected it and sat on the throne placed in the middle of the construct, and his hands moved as well by divine inspiration. The giant rose, walked, and then ran around the castle.
White light filled the sky and columns stretched to the earth. All the gods appeared, something never seen before in that kingdom but only in the holy lands far away. They watched the king maneuver the giant robot and clapped.
The king made his giant kneel and spoke, bowing his own head. "O great gods, why did you command me to build this? What more may I do for you?"
The chief of the gods responded. "We just wanted to see a giant robot. Look how cool it is. Man. You don't have to do anything else. Be of good cheer, because nobody's gonna mess with you in that thing."
The gods ascended and left the king and his people there in awed wonderment. Over the years after that, they learned it was true that nobody wanted to mess with the kingdom that owned a big robot, and the kingdom knew such peace and prosperity as it never had before.
Finis
The priests conferred with one another and whatever gods listened to them and reported that the interpretation of the dream was simple. The king needed to build a giant robot.
"What is that?" the king asked, and none knew. They insisted, however, the gods had told them that with no room for mistakes or mishearing.
Bewildered but pious, the king ordered all his smiths and craftsmen to build a giant robot. They had no more idea than he what that might mean, but they went to their tables and forges regardless and took up their tools. Miraculous to say, the gods guided their hands for days upon days of measuring, cutting, shaping, and smoothing. For months they worked, and at the end they had fabricated a steel giant with arms like round towers and a kingly crown on its head.
The king inspected it and sat on the throne placed in the middle of the construct, and his hands moved as well by divine inspiration. The giant rose, walked, and then ran around the castle.
White light filled the sky and columns stretched to the earth. All the gods appeared, something never seen before in that kingdom but only in the holy lands far away. They watched the king maneuver the giant robot and clapped.
The king made his giant kneel and spoke, bowing his own head. "O great gods, why did you command me to build this? What more may I do for you?"
The chief of the gods responded. "We just wanted to see a giant robot. Look how cool it is. Man. You don't have to do anything else. Be of good cheer, because nobody's gonna mess with you in that thing."
The gods ascended and left the king and his people there in awed wonderment. Over the years after that, they learned it was true that nobody wanted to mess with the kingdom that owned a big robot, and the kingdom knew such peace and prosperity as it never had before.
Finis
Sunday, July 11, 2021
Saturday, July 10, 2021
A Sad Scene
"It's finally time for L-Gaim," you say, weeping into your applesauce. Somewhere, a dog howls.
Friday, July 9, 2021
The Thanksgiving of Steel Approaches
Super Robot Wars announcements are coming in soon, so make your wishlists. It wouldn't do not to be disappointed when Dagwon doesn't make it in again.
Wednesday, July 7, 2021
False Advertsing
I read Prince of Tennis, and even though it had Prince in the title, it wasn't fantasy at all! Well, it kinda was.
The End of Science Fiction
New Switch with an OLED screen? There's nothing left to speculate. We've figured everything out.
Tuesday, July 6, 2021
The Dilemma at the Heart of Man
I think of myself as someone who doesn't care much for non-human fantasy races, but most of my favorite fantasy has non-human races. Can we ever know ourselves?
Monday, July 5, 2021
The First Stars
The crew hauled over another crate and forced off the lid. Two of the men hoisted the dull gray lump and fit it in the cannon, and a susurrus ran up and down the crowd on the hill a safe distance behind. The cannoneers confirmed the direction, assumed their positions, dropped protective bindings over their eyes, and fired.
The inert byproduct of the archsages' miraculous processes activated for the last time, as if it remembered it used to be dragon hearts, unicorn horns, naga skins, and other fabulous items and flared with pride. The cannon propelled the magically active mass into the night sky where it took its place next to the other waste as a light shining forever.
The crowd cheered and marveled that even the refuse of their mighty civilization could decorate the heavens so magnificently. Romantics looked forward to a night sky brighter than the day, while realists asked where they would find enough dragons for that.
The crew worked throughout the night in front of the admiring crowd, and the results persist above us.
Finis
The inert byproduct of the archsages' miraculous processes activated for the last time, as if it remembered it used to be dragon hearts, unicorn horns, naga skins, and other fabulous items and flared with pride. The cannon propelled the magically active mass into the night sky where it took its place next to the other waste as a light shining forever.
The crowd cheered and marveled that even the refuse of their mighty civilization could decorate the heavens so magnificently. Romantics looked forward to a night sky brighter than the day, while realists asked where they would find enough dragons for that.
The crew worked throughout the night in front of the admiring crowd, and the results persist above us.
Finis
Sunday, July 4, 2021
The Fundamentals
Not even a Middle Earth side-scrolling platformer where you wander around open levels until you collect 100 rings!
Friday, July 2, 2021
Priorities
They're making some Middle Earth TV show when they haven't even made a Middle Earth city builder or Middle Earth The Sims yet. What's the big idea?
Thursday, July 1, 2021
Inspirational Quotations
"Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be reincarnated at level one in another world, but you shall still be ugly." - Winston Truckkilled
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