The Varieties of Maids

1. Clumsy
2. Hyper-competent
3. Gossipy
4. Found the body
5. Loyal
6. Saucy
7. Tyrannical
8. Naive
9. Not actually a maid
10. Flirty
11. Intelligent talking animal
12. Gambling tipster
13. Assassin
14. Unscrupulous
15. Wise in herbal remedies
16. Believes in ghosts
17. Mad scientist
18. Artificial
19. High-level
20. Engaged

Now get out your randomization method of choice. But wait! The discerning reader has already noticed most of these are mutually compatible, while the especially discerning knows all of them are, the first two most of all. Therefore randomize yourself how many traits to assign. I recommend no more than three, duplicates allowed.

The Judgment of the Ages

Wow! What a story! I didn't see that coming! My favorite character is that one, you know the one, I don't have to say the name.

Looking back, it's a little mean to rodents. I bet the author sure hopes those experiments to give rodents super intelligence don't pan out. An author's reputation depends on nothing other than fickle fate, it seems.