Wisdom Hidden in Remote Cavities

In accordance with custom, the aspirant upon returning to his homeland stood in the square to answer questions about his endeavor.
"Did you succeed in learning the oyster magic, and can you make pearls for us?"
"I learned everything there is, little in fact. The oyster magic causes a feeling of irritation without extending to pearl formation."
"That is no different from your usual attitude. Has the magic enabled other abilities?"
"Certainly. The general mending, the destructive spurt, the imparted lightness of motion, the specialized mending of sores, the—"
"What oyster can do those things? I doubt your claim."
"What man or woman can, and yet the human magic involves these same techniques."
"Well, I am convinced your journey was worthwhile. I perceive the sentiment is universal. Your enrollment as a citizen is assured."
"Thank you. You nincompoop."
"Wait for the enrollment to say that to a citizen."
"It is the irritation, you see."
"Certainly."
Finis

Public Duties

"If anyone seeks an exemption from public duties, make your request now," First Archon Oivers announced. One man covered in glowing golden armor and a shimmering cape woven from a material not known to any mortal artisan stood. "Citizen Aedren, you may speak."
"I don't want an exemption as such," Aedren began.
"Then your business will wait. Who else? No one?"
Only Aedren responded. "No one can request an exemption, because I've been assigned all of them. Every chorus, every ship, every road repair, all of them."
"Ah, that is true. I had not noticed. Well, you are very wealthy. Or do you dispute the wealth assessment?"
"No, I am rich now, but I want to say two things. First, there are still other rich people in the city, so this seems unfair. Second, I would say the way I got that wealth was in the nature of public service, so I deserve some consideration."
Archon Oivers was having none of it. "Oh? And what was this 'public service,' young man?"
"What was . . . I killed hundreds of monsters, slew Warlord Yurzax, destroyed the Annihilation Star, placated the spirit of Sorcerer Gemmat, and destroyed H'clider, the god of evil that turned out to be an ancient machine beyond the control of today's humans." In response to Archon Oivers's blank look he added, "I saved the world! More than once!"
"Well, I am sure you did fine work, but we are not concerned with all that today. We are discussing exemptions for the year's public duties."
And that was when the hero Aedren conquered the city and installed himself as tyrant, and I must say we have all been happier ever since.
Finis