Unicorn Hierarchy

Do you suppose killing the master unicorn will change all the unicorns it turned back into regular horses? I think that might be too optimistic.

The First Shaping of the Land

Shortly after the world was created, there was land and nothing else, and flat land to boot. There was nothing of interest. Animals roamed without purpose.
By miraculous chance, First Horse and First Bee. Bored, they exchanged a few boasts.
"Behold how I fly," First Bee proclaimed. "What do your legs do?"
First Horse snorted and kicked the ground, crumpling it up into valleys and hills. "So much for not having strong legs. What can you do?" He showed his contempt further by spitting. The salive dribbled into the valleys and started up the rivers.
"Lord! Master! Great one! I admire what you did. I'll make a new home for you to rest half the day after you perform your feats." First Bee flew up and made the first beehive for First Horse. We call it the sun.
That was how the work of creation began. As for everything else, the oceans, the mountains, the lakes, plateaus, forests, clouds, corn, all else there is, First Pig was busy inventing it at the same time but he never got much honor for it. Things usually go similarly today.
Finis

Genuine Contributions of Ancient Astronauts

Everybody's always going on about pyramids and such, but what are the chances those helpful old aliens imported chickens, horses, wheat, and good stuff of that sort? And durian as a prank. I think parsley is probably native though. It's nice to have, but who would think to move it around?

One Horsepower

The only two things keeping horses alive are rich people and racing. Once we have cheetahs genetically engineered to have a little staying power and congenial personalities, it's all over.

Progress and the Losses Incurred Thereby

Lights came on to illuminate the stage opposite the speaker. On it stood a bewildered horse, an distracted turkey, a stoic mule, and a guinea pig in a cage.
"There are the guests of honor folks, but what's this? Party crashers?"
While the crowd laughed, another of each species came out (the guinea pig had to be wheeled by an assistant). The animals were of course kept separate to prevent incidents.
"There they are, and don't they all look lovely? Just like the real thing. In fact, they are real! The cloning process is as good as it's going to get and cheap too. That means, heh, we don't need to keep these fellows around! Get your bibs on!"
Thus began the feast to commemorate the first four species people decided to get rid of on purpose, not that there were many more, for few species are so easy to replace and to cook both.
Finis

Furor and Nobility

The page sent to investigate the dismal clouds hanging over the route returned with his report too late to save his master the trouble of mounting but comfortably in time to avert disaster. "Your Lordship, please stop! The rain is a very flood, and the storm barons smite the wetted earth with their terrible bolts!"
"What of it, if barons have their trifling sport? We who have higher duties are not dissuaded from touring our lands by that." Saying that, Count Fandeghen rode forward. He dismissed his retinue, but no other concession did he make.
The tempest did not prove the page a liar, nor did it dissuade the count. The missiles of the storm barons struck the ground closer and closer, and never did he honor them with his attention till his steed forced the issue, for it shied when a bolt came too close for its animal courage to bear. The rider wrested his horse back to placidity, but he himself was wroth. He dismounted and declared this.
"The fright you caused my beast will have its consequence, vassal!" He stretched his great bow and loosed a shaft upward to the bolt's originating point. The roar which followed was not thunder. Soon the wounded storm baron appeared and gave notice of challenge by raising his furious mace.
The battle ended this way, that Count Fandeghen was too much for any baron of whatever realm. He pinned his foe to the ground and made of him a prisoner. The ransom the count gained was seven talents of silver, for that baron's bolt forked seven times, and a fulgent lance difficult to withstand on the battlefield. If you go to the current count and ask to see it you will be refused, for the grandson of the man who won it gave it as a gift to a knight who did him great service, and that was well done.
Finis

A Common Misapprehension

Many people think horse armor is properly called barding, but it's actually panzer equine. That is, if you want to make a rail shooter out of it, and if you don't, use something other than a horse.

The Downfall

I tried to wean us off horses before it was too late, but I failed. Uma Musume global has been announced, and the hippocracy is neigh.

The Simple Things

When you think about non-horse riding animals, obviously you go to lions, dragons, dinosaurs, and ostriches, but don't forget the humble camel. Camels are, one, stupid-looking, and two, ludicrous.

Science Fiction Terminology Issue

In the future, when we've made ponies even littler, what do we call them? Double ponies? Micro-ponies? Horse minus minus? Xonies?

Fruit Hanging Above Reach

Future Year 57886. Mankind has spread far beyond Earth, technology has advanced beyond imagination, horse racing was banned when nobody could think of dumb names for the horses not yet in use, and stores put up their Christmas decorations in Space August. A time of endless adventure.
"Captain, there's a space hurricane!" the guy in charge of detecting harmful cosmic phenomena yelled.
"Check that one, archive person," ordered the captain. In the equal society of the future, only the captain needed an actual job title.
"Space Hurricane. That one's taken."
The captain snorted. "Of course it is. Check 'Captain There's a Space Hurricane.'"
"Taken."
"'Hey Captain How's That Space Hurricane Running Yellow Socks.'"
"Taken."
Such are the hardships of exploration in Future Year 57886.
"'My Name's Hurricane My Brother's Name Is Space and We Have a Show for You Today.'"
"Taken."
All the songs are covers, too, and all the movies are sequels. Where will mankind find its rest, when it has grown old?
Finis

Addendum

It's important to wear a comically tall hat when you're riding a horse, because if it falls off, you can ride by and pick it up without dismounting.

The Least Exciting Thing That Ever Happened to This Guy

A water-darkened day, a genuine heaven-faller, and over there? Warmth, hay, a horse perhaps? Horse rides ought to be planned beforehand, but the loving sun promised pleasure for all the day until it ran off. That sort of capricious behavior the man who shivered his way into the stable expected more from celestial beings than from neighborhood bright eyes, but he had many mistakes left to make.
The hay was there, and the warmth, but not a musty horse-warmth, but the stinging kind from man-sanctioned flames that played around and threatened to run wild but knew their place too well to extract concessions from concerned stable hands. The stable hands had no concerns at all given the horse-poorness of the scene, though human-richness made up for it.
"I suppose there is no chance of doing business, then?" The man's fishing expedition went as well as such things usually go. The stable hands all shook their heads, even popping out from stalls and around corners to make ripples all over the fishless pond, a glittering thing where it was not in shadow, a dark thing where the light was not. "When might you be expecting a horse to be returned?"
"Expecting?" One of the hands expectorated, but only he knew if that was wordplay. "We don't expect around here. No horse coming back, not for the length of your thread. Offer up a chicken or a pheasant for that. How'd you even get in here?"
"The door."
"Huh." The stable hands walked with the low steps of men with no place to be and examined the door. "Huh huh huh. You a sage? Enchanter?"
"Why, I can't say that I am, no."
"Might be now. Have a nice day."
The man left, and he never saw one of those horses, and he never learned sagecraft either, though he did conquer the world, and after he died the horses came.
Finis

Important Reminder

You can't spell knight without ht, which stands for hot to trot. Trotting is what horses do, sometimes.