Addendum

"Lord CHUMPSANY is at the bookstore again to buy an elf book . . . He doesn't know about [YOURBOOK]!!!" The lady at the counter looks bored and has a thought balloon saying, "I hope that guy who bought [YOURBOOK] comes back next month." Meanwhile, there's a swirly arrow pointing toward the guy's crotch and in crayon there's a message: "Looks like these tights aren't hiding much!"

Everyone Knows This but Nobody Does Anything About It

Novels won't become truly popular until they have a bunch of magazine ads that insult the reader and have people wearing sunglasses. Other authors and publishers must also be assaulted. The clumsier the innuendo the better.