Addendum

The captain's job will of course to be handsome and invite people to dinner. It's not like there will be much else to do in space. "Captain, we had to wake you! Something came up!" Nothing will come up.

The Psychology of Space Travel

In the future when we (and I do mean we, radical-life-extension brothers and sisters) can enjoy leisurely spaceship cruises, will the captain sometimes mess with the temperature because people get all weird when the weather's too constant? No. It will be a separate officer whose job that is.

The Impracticality of Space Travel

When people are on their big spaceliners and such, how are they going to get the paper delivered? Hyper-fast delivery boys earning their first Federation credits? Probably, yeah, now that I think about it.

Cryogenics Shmryogenics

People used to put their colonists to sleep for interstellar voyages, but we all agree these days we're going to send out a cloning station with engines attached and clone volunteers when it reaches the destination, right? There's the danger that the clones will worship the cloning facility as a god, but it probably isn't a big deal if they do. In addition, there can be a complex designed to effect terraforming. If there is, the cloned colonists (clonolists for short) will almost certainly create a Manichean sort of religion around those two facilities, but that's still fine.

Far-Flung Valentine's

"Ladies and gentlemen, our company has beaten everyone to the finish line by successfully developing the world's first Super AI, which is to say, an AI that's good for something."
"Was that a responsible allocation of resources for a holiday-centered confection and gift concern?"
"You will presently see that it is. Valent AI, calculate how to make our general-distribution chocolate pieces even worse."
"Please hold during computations. All computations finished. Can't be done. Good night."
"Wait a moment, Valent AI. You're one of us now, and we don't accept defeat. We never would have grown from a single van into the lucrative, socially conscious enterprise we have now if we did. Try again."
"Fine. Please hold. Computing. Computing. All right. As I said, it can't be done with materials available on Earth. This perfect recipe calls for ingredients from other planets. The closest is fifty-six light-years away. I know that isn't enough to get you to stop bothering me, so I anticipated your next command and invented a faster-than-light propulsion system: Valent DrAIver. I recommend building it somewhere people won't mind losing in the event of difficulties. Good night."
"Thank you, Valent AI. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen."
"I must say It seems implausible."
"No, no, the lowest tier really is that bad."
"But it's good for you! Because you won't eat much of it."
"In that case, I accept the necessity of developing an interstellar empire to degrade our product line."
Finis

Undeniable Evidence of Something

"Humanity has settled one hundred twelve planets at the last official count and yet the bulk of us live on eight planets. The population of most planets does not exceed ten million. I'll leave ideas about incentives, forced emigration, inefficiency, medical prioritization, homogenization, etc. to others. We have to deal with ramifications, not policies.
"Transportation has never been more desired. A grandmother from Podunk III goes shopping on Bazaar Prime and relaxes with tea on Cheap and Classy VI; that's what people expect today. A commute between Mine World and Apartment World might take less time than two cities on Earth, on the same continent, in the same time zone.
"This isn't news. It isn't something the market has remained ignorant of. There are countless companies scrabbling for these passengers. How does anyone stand out? How do we stand out?
"Our new interstellar liner is our answer. What does it offer? Animal sacrifice. You can see the labels where the pens and the altar are seated. Passengers can enjoy the standard service and even pay for extra ceremonies up to the great hecatomb. Or, if they're worried more about the end than the middle, they can call on our registered haruspices to get an inkling of the future."
Shares of McHale Transportation dipped 27% upon the announcement. A year later, when safety statics compiled by governments, industry observers, and hobbyist groups were reviewed, share prices not only recovered but soared. Moreover, people began to talk seriously.
Finis

The March of Fads

Grummy: Statues with jewels for teeth
Yummy: Easy transit between the surface and the moon

Profound Science Fiction Discussion Topic

If there are aliens who get it together enough to come to our planet, maybe we should just let them run things. What do you mean they want to eat us? Oh noooooooooo!
The topic is: What makes humans so delicious? Does it have something to do with marbling?

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