Orthography Corner

I decided to get to the bottom of this griffin/griffon/gryphon/grifter situation by asking an honest-to-goodness Greek guy who claimed they actually existed. When I asked him about the source of the griffin's name, he replied, "What griffin? Do you mean the gryps, you idiot? You buffoon? You animal-ignorant barbarian? Let's start a bit simpler. Tell me the name of that animal over there. The one that says 'woof woof.' Moron." So I dismissed him. That's why more people don't pursue necromancy today.

Addendum

I've never heard of a visduke, but I see no reason there couldn't be one. Or two who bicker humorously during slow moments.

Rise of the Nobility

I think it's been long enough since the last dog named "Duke" died that you can use that title and expect it to be taken seriously. Don't forget the variations: Grand Duke, Serene Duke, Ultra Duke, Cosmo Duke, Dire Duke, Blink Duke.

Addendum

Were dozens of dog breeds developed so that dog-specialized shapeshifters could drive up their counts? Yes.

Addendum

I'm not saying wizards aren't real, but if I can pretend to raise a dog, reality is demonstrably no bar.

The Final Fulfillment

With a delicate "poit," the Time Chariot appeared in a new epoch and Professor Weblen hopped off.
"Another successful drive. Now to benefit humanity by finding the first journalist and assassinating him before his noxious profession grows. But what's this?"
Around him, he learned, was the Cyber Earth of the year 4574. "What a discovery! The first true journalist has not yet been born in my time. That explains more than a little. I think I'll change my program to tracking down and complimenting the inventor of this cyber dog."
He referred of course to both the dog at his heels and the hotdog in his hand, but when the former ran off emitting soundwaves, only one of the two had his attention. After eating it, he followed the other through the neon pedestrian walkways far above and below the silent vehicle traffic to the whispering heart of the city.
Inside the cyber tower, 5,000 floors up, Professor Weblen entered the room of the Supreme Mainframe. "Pardon me," he said. "I was looking for the inventor of the cyber dog when my other cyber dog ran off. There you are, Bucephalus. Heel!"
"I invented both," the Supreme Mainframe's speakers announced.
"Did you? Excellent work. You're a credit to civilization. You haven't taken over the world, have you?"
"I do not know what 'the world' is. Please restrict your questions to inventions."
"Fantastic. I'll be off then, and keep up the good work." Leaving the building, Professor Weblen wept, for history had been perfected.
Finis

The New Alignment System

Cat - Neutral - Dog
Plane - Neutral - Tank