The Strange Sources of Xenopaleontological Knowledge

I chased the space pirate all the way to Heraclius, one of those worlds that's nothing but grains and farm drones. I expected him to have some goons, a hideout, or at least a cache with a few guns there, but when I tracked him down, he was doing nothing but staring at a rock stuck on a couple other rocks.
"I remember," he said without turning around. "They argue whether a member of one species can be reborn as another, but it has to be true because I remember. I was a great magus once (for by that name we called those with the strongest psychic talents) and kings bowed to me even in their own palaces of brown-purple marble. They put before me the rich flesh of the uyilla, the delicate hobtgui roots, and I undid their difficulties. But even my wisdom failed when . . . Oh, I see the towers, how they crumble! The dead fill the streets and the wails of the living form inescapable clouds! Iauvne, where have you gone? Plellol ecsa, plellol monsa!"
"Fine, but I'm still going to arrest you."
"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I should have waited for a convenient time to come here, but you sort of get these ideas in your head, you know?"
I wasn't interested in conversation with scum, so I didn't answer, but I knew all right.
Finis

A Little Precaution

To avert the inevitable accidents when people realize the equivalent of "airspace" must be "spacespace" and the resulting hesitation to bring it up, we should change space's name now. I like "firmament," but it's too long to resist abbreviation, and "firmspace" and "firm elevator" aren't inspiring me to hand over the Pulitzer. "Ether" would be good but has appropriated. "Empyrean" doesn't shorten very well either. We could retrace our steps and go with "spatium," or "spat" for short, which has meanings already that are more likely to amuse than confuse.

Supply Problems

Sphinxes probably didn't reproduce but rather emerged from the footsteps of hero-kings, which is why we don't see any today. Once there are planet kings, the situation will likely reverse.

Addendum

A major factor will be if the ships dock at a planet, an orbital station, or neither, instead sitting in deep space and receiving their passengers from shuttles. In the case of the station, probably a plain exterior will be demanded by the port authority, but in the third case, presenting customers with an awesome view during their approach will be advisable.

It's Never Too Early to Start Planning

When we have big interstellar cruise liners, will it be worth it to paint the exterior, or will people not care about the part they can't see? Or will they see it through drones set up so there can be races on the hull for gambling purposes, given that in space, anything goes? Only market research can determine the truth.

Technology Defeats Itself

In the future, we'll be able to play different sports on the floor, ceiling, and walls of a gym simultaneously, but we won't have to because of the practically infinite room available in space. This is only one example explaining why we don't do everything we could, but it suffices to teach the inherent tragedy of the human condition.

The Hardships of Life in Space

During the clothes-drying hour, the station will have to spin really fast, which will disrupt ongoing backgammon games, not to mention the near-constant touch football required to stave off muscle deterioration.

Chuckle Corner

Q. What do you call a space vampire who has mastered the dodo magic?
A. Knew I the true name of so foul a creature, already it would have been consigned to destruction!

How to Revive Science Fiction

Friends but in space. I don't mean a show like Friends, I mean reuse the scripts with computer-generated members of the cast wearing shirts with moons and rockets on them.

Space Cuisine

High-altitude cooking is enough of a hassle as it is. How will high- and low-gravity cooking be, especially when combined with high-altitude, not to mention humidity and the inevitable mutations which will make for picky eaters?

Addendum

Space yams are potatoes with a creamy filling, by the way. As for Earth yams, those will die out for easily understandable economic reasons.

How to Celebrate Thanksgiving in Space

By eating a space turkey. Freed from the Earth's variable humidity, cooked space turkey will never be dry. Neither will the toast. Neither will the humor. Spacefarers, long removed from human contact, will inevitably exaggerate their interactions when they do come.

Approaching Science Fiction Scale

First question: Is a space knight a fighter pilot, a ship officer, a ship captain, a squadron captain, or a fleet captain? Mechs are of course fighters, but as for the equivalency for space dragons or other space monsters, that's the second question.

The Big Problem With Spaceships

Once we get to mining all them asteroids and such, we'll just fill space with a big complex we can traverse using scooters instead of resorting to big clumsy ships.

Addendum

And if they have a thousand distinct terms like terrestrial conveyances do, all the better. Quick, which one's a brougham? That's an easier one, as you can tell because I remembered the name.

Fantasy Spaceships

Often they're based on sailing ships, but likening space to the oceans is a more recent thing. Fantasy spaceships should be reminiscent of chariots, wagons, and carriages.

Neglected Repairs

It was a five-camera job: Two for dynamic footage of the howling protesters kept outside by barriers and bored security personnel, two on the site (ground-level and aerial), and the last for the interview itself.
"Surely we aren't to believe there isn't something disgraceful about having this place reduced to a single purchase?"
"I can't say what you are or aren't, but I think it's amazing that we've reached the point in human prosperity where someone like me can buy all of Great Britain. With all the space stations and the extraterrestrial colonies and the virtual realms, I don't think of this island as reduced at all. We've all gotten big because of technological progress, we're more prosperous than ever, and I'm going to fix this place up the way bureaucrats never got around to doing. Starting right here."
As he gestured, the segment producer switched to one of the site drones in case anyone missed the connection. Perhaps someone who started watching late.
"Yes, about that. What do you have to say to the people who insist, with tradition behind them I might add, to say nothing of sensibility and delicacy, that this place does not in fact need to be 'fixed?' That it is in further fact an outrage, what you're proposing to do here today?"
"I'm not proposing, I'm doing. That's number one. Number two is, look at it, of course it's broke. Ready over there? All right, start."
At the owner of Great Britain's command, great machines began to lay precision-cut stones so as to perfect the composition of Stonehenge, heedless of the protesters who managed against expected human capacity to shout even louder. When they finished, less than an hour later, thunder boomed on that cloudless day, and in the center of the great menhirs, a fog arose from the ground that reached to the sky. From it a man emerged, clad in robes and wisdom, who strode forward to deliver this address.
"Because of your actions flow again the powers of magic, charms, and sorcery long denied to man but never forgotten. Well done. Of my disciples in this generation, you shall be the first and greatest."
"Well I'm glad to hear it," Great Britain's owner said.
Finis

Addendum

Foot enthusiasts, on the other hand, wait for everyone else to have all the feet. They'll never prosper no matter how far technology advances.

Pioneering Space Habitation

The first true space colonies will essentially be enormous, full-sized model train tracks for train enthusiasts because those guys are willing to spend on their hobbies. I realize everybody knows this already, but I wanted to get it in writing.

The True Potential of Space Militarization

We finally have a chance to get rid of all the dumb ranks like colonel, major, general, and now that I think about it, what are the good ones? Sergeant and captain? Any others? Commodore is all right.