A Little Precaution

To avert the inevitable accidents when people realize the equivalent of "airspace" must be "spacespace" and the resulting hesitation to bring it up, we should change space's name now. I like "firmament," but it's too long to resist abbreviation, and "firmspace" and "firm elevator" aren't inspiring me to hand over the Pulitzer. "Ether" would be good but has appropriated. "Empyrean" doesn't shorten very well either. We could retrace our steps and go with "spatium," or "spat" for short, which has meanings already that are more likely to amuse than confuse.

Addendum

Be careful. Just because Reginald is right about the Bermuda Triangle doesn't mean you should invest in his company which intends to build a space elevator there. It's not even that close to the equator.

Addendum

I'm not volunteering to murder anyone or to be murdered, but I will contribute by saying, "Gee, I hope they get the guy that did it" when I hear about it. I'll make sure to say "gee," which I generally do not.

Marchuary

We call it March because it's time to get going. To space. Let's build a space elevator. Come on. We can't have a murder on the space elevator until we have the space elevator.

Straight to the Top

"You have heard of the elevator. You have seen the space elevator. Now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the spacetime elevator." The inventor waved for the curtains to be pulled away from the model. That was the apex of his showmanship, but he was only an inventor, after all.
"The name is indicative, but what precisely does it do?" a judge asked.
"Very simple. Look. The passengers enter a car at the bottom. They ride up." During his narration, the model demonstrated the procedure. "They reach the top, but all the time they've been going up, they've been going back in time as well. That means that when they get there, the spacetime elevator hasn't been built yet, and the car goes . . ." The little model car plunged into the miniature ocean below and sank.
"Amazing! First prize!" The World Execution Expo judges admired the invention greatly, as did the wider community once word of it spread.
Finis

Name Change Suggestion

"Space Elevator" is both prosaic and misleading. Let's switch over to "Cosmic Ribbon."

Fantasy Apocalypse

The survivors have to live in their boring science fiction universe without magic or anything, just space elevators and wacky robots. How horrifying.

On Space Elevators

Before we build one, we'd better decide what sort of uniform the elevator operators will have. I suggest purposefully fraying the elbows to give passengers something to think about during the trip.

Toward More Realistic Science Fiction

If you had the material required to construct a viable space elevator, you would be better off using it to trip people and film prank videos. If we're being honest.