Everyone Knows, But Nobody Wants to Be the First

Every single work of fiction should be printed in two versions: Furry and non-furry.

Unbeatable Idea for the Next Magic: The Gathering Set

Harry Potter.

The Heart's Inquiry

Deep in the valley, just before the ruin whose builders had not waited for history to begin before they retired, the man at last found the sage.
"I praise the sacred mountain and all its denizens by whose power alone I succeeded," the pious man made sure to say before he addressed the sage. "I have come to ask my one question according to the law."
"No," the sage said without a glance at the petitioner.
"I have," the man insisted. "How may the looming disaster be averted? That is my question."
"No. That is the world's question. I am not bound to answer that. Only your own."
"Oh." The man thought to argue, but he knew what the sage said to be true. Defeated, he asked this. "Who is responsible for bees? They're odd in every way, from how they look to where they keep the honey, saying nothing about why they make it in the first place."
The sage transfixed the man with an intense gaze. "It was the wizards of Gitki Parst who, foreseeing their prowess would never be greater, commenced a grand project to create the incomparable device, the Pur Konva Karm. Such was the power of their enchantments that all around was warped so that bees are far different from what they were then, and much else too. The bee of today has no reason to it but only chance. To learn more of the wondrous capacities of Pur Konva Karm, seek it in Imvada's mausoleum. For it to overcome a calamity is nothing unthinkable."
The man was later regarded as a hero by all the world and as a wealthy seller of honey beside, for both the Pur Konva Karm and its power of affecting bees for the better he returned to mankind's store.
Finis

Regarding the Latest Controversy

No, people made out of gold would not be useful only for melting down. They can stand outside the doors at galas as well. I was not calling for a profitable little murder at some undefined point in the future.

Psychology and Cover Design

If your book's cover shows a bunch of people reading your book, everyone else will want to read it too. Think about it.

Addendum

Please buy the same number of books or more, though. Hey, why are all you economists twitching like that?

Some Quick Math

According to my estimates, adjusting for inflation, books today should cost about $3,200 each. Readers have had it too good for too long. Who's with me?

Addendum

Or squash. Those people have money also. Don't bother with skating, though. In the first place, Bionic Lester covered that ages ago.

So why was he called Bionic Lester? Does anyone know? I just don't get it.

The Future of AI

We must make robots convincingly just good enough at golf not to slow down traffic but bad enough that our rich people and celebrities can beat them. Then we'll be rolling in dough.

Merchandising Opportunity

People need special gloves to read books. Nobody realizes it so far, and it's your job to convince them, sell them the gloves, and pay me for the idea. Get on it.

The Great Auction

The kingdom's financial difficulties forced it to auction off the right to name the next year, but good came out of it. There was much entertainment had by the people as the wealthy put forth publicly the names they intended to give it, whether reminders of their glorious ancestors or sentimental tributes to their present-day families. Brotherhoods scraped together all the promises they could from multiple members in the hope of attaching some reference only members of a particular occupation understood. The king tried not to discourage anyone by giving his opinion, but court-watchers reported his every expression when he heard of the latest proposed name.
The day of the auction came too soon for the public's liking but just in time for the treasury. As the event began in the grand hall, the king himself watching though not presiding, the great door burst open and there stood a man. It was Aldis, the great hero who had saved the kingdom countless times, outfitted in his magical armor of blue and armed with his adamant-cleaving sword. No one expected him, for he had left the kingdom to seek more adventure and beside that was no rich man, having the custom of giving away wealth as soon as he took it as he did.
"I have slain the wicked dragon Tyvithoda!" he declared to the wondering gasps of all there. "And plundered all that vast hoard. None, I think, will outbid me now."
The people begged to hear what he had chosen as the name, but to judge by the king's grimace, he knew already. Neither was Aldis mistaken about his superiority in wealth, and accordingly was the year entered into the annals as the Year of the King Still Wets His Bed.
Happy New Year!
Finis

Stuffing Fantasy

Is lucrative, but you should probably use a nom de plume for it.

Disputes Over Schools of Magic

The argument: "I have become the strongest Gem Master in the world! My magic is supreme."
The counterargument: "You can't call yourself a Gem Master just because you have a bunch of gems, and being rich isn't magic."
The outcome: After Gem Master Dorol bought the furniture store where Polish Mage Irsen worked and fired him, the argument was proved correct.
The aftermath: Gem Master Dorol's shoes are the shiniest in town. Meanwhile, Polish Mage Irsen isn't starving to death.
Finis

Commercial Research in the Publishing Industry

If you don't think they're figuring out right now a way you can pay them $4.99 to make the hero's sword shinier, I wish I lived in your naive world.

Royal Selection

The chancellor addressed the assembly. "The king is dead without issue, and we must select another who will rule wisely, justly, and bravely. Since we've never had a king like that and have no idea how to get one, we'll listen to arguments and vote on it. Yes, you can go first, Fernid."
Fernid the buyer and seller stood. "All know that I am the most prosperous in the kingdom because of my cunning and foresight. Make me your king that I might enrich the realm as a whole."
Heddick the judge stood next. "All know that I am the most learned in the kingdom because of my principles which demand I make fair judgments based on the law and the circumstances which surround the case. Make me your king that I might ennoble the realm as a whole."
Third, Yimnon the cooper stood and flexed. "All know that though my finances are middling and my education limited, I could beat up any of you and take everything you have. However! I won't."
His speech greatly cheered the people and persuaded them, for they did not know what Fernid or Heddick might do with power once given it, and moreover, they were doing excellent service already, while Yimnon could let his apprentices take over without disruption to his business. It was not an ambitious kingdom, and under King Yimnon, it stayed that way.
Finis

Redundant Subgenres

Someone tried to sell me on ramppunk, and I said, "At that point, just make it mummypunk." He did, and now he's a millionaire. Don't tell anyone your ideas outside of your memoirs.

Literature NEEDS This

Books with different printings, each of which only has four-fifths of the words so you have to trade with your friends.

Addendum

With holographic covers, to take something from other collector-rich markets.

What Fantasy and Science Fiction Can Learn From Mobile Games

Release special summer editions of every book in which all the characters are wearing swimsuits or other summer-related wear.

The Danger of Prophecy

The heroes burst through the portal leading to the inner sanctum, but too late. The ritual to restore the Betrayed God Chozka had been completed. "Now is the time for my vengeance against those who turned against me." The pillar of whirling darkness resolved into a form indescribable in human speech.
"They're all dead though," the heroes said.
"Yeah, that's true," agreed the dark priests. "It's been a long time."
"Oh." The power of the god that made all tremble retracted. "It gratifies me to hear that. Now is the time for me again to bless this planet and all its living creatures. What are the best oracles nowadays?"
One of the dark priests pointed at the heroes. "There's a prophecy from a thousand years ago predicting these meddlers. That's the last one we have."
"How negligent. Now is the time for me to start up a new location. You're all hired."
Thus were oracular pronouncements returned to the world, and everyone made so much money they no longer wanted to destroy all humanity or break into houses to open treasure chests. Moreover, the god remembered to use some of that money to hire security in case anyone got mad about the predictions the way they did millennia earlier.
Finis