Discussion Prompt

Most Lord of the Rings movies and games are secretly Wheel of Time adaptations. Discuss.

The Future of Humanity

I don't even know what the point of space travel is if we can't have Star Wars, or at least The Last Starfighter.

Space Battles

"What is it that humanity dreamed of when we set out for the stars?"
"Beachfront property."
"No."
"Religious and ideological freedom."
"No."
"Ensuring the survival of humanity somewhere in the galaxy in the face of possible annihilation by asteroid impacts, plagues, nanomachine swarms, AI threat, and who knows what else."
"No! So we could have space wars! With cool spaceships shooting torpedoes and mass drivers and stuff at each other. Cocky fighter pilots serving under stoic captains with brilliant tactical minds. Glory and romance on the endless stellar sea."
"Yeah, I don't know. I think most of them wanted nice property with good weather, shorter tee times, and to give their kids silly names without it being seen as low class." Manfred Borninspace Winkler leaned back in his chair. "At least the ones I know. And they got it. So I don't think anybody's going to war across space."
"That's easy to say now," Alexandros Ilias Werther-Patel said. "Discord can arise anywhere, anytime. Just look at all this xenolily being loaded." He waved at the manifest. "Those bigshots back on Earth are crazy about its culinary properties and alleged medicinal benefits! Just think what would happen if the supply were interrupted."
"I'm thinking absolutely nothing. Xenolily is a marketing name; it's just a kind of lily that could grow on Earth if they wanted. Growing it here and moving it in container freighters is a tiny bit more efficient. Even that's only true because nobody's in a hurry to get any of the luxury goods we send out."
Alexandros was scowling harder than Manfred thought a non-cartoon person could. "Fine, sure. What about this, though: The next freighter crashes into the depot! Clearly an act of war."
"Nothing will be clear about that when nobody from here invades Earth's lily fields in the confusion or whatever you think we're going to do. It'd be ruled an accident and they'd put some more items on our safety checklists. Unless you're going to arrange it yourself, which you don't know how to do, and also I would rat you out."
"Are dreams dead?" Alexandros asked. Manfred snorted.

"The machine empire!" Alexandros had regained his optimism the next day.
"What is it this time?"
"Imagine this: An inorganic civilization governed by AIs bent on human destruction. Their superior technology renders their fleets all but invincible. How will humanity defeat them?"
"Space battles, I imagine," Manfred said.
Alexandros was beaming. "Right! So what do you think?"
"I think fights way out in space don't become any more likely with AIs calling the shots. Less so, since they don't have your attachment to the concept."
"Fine, well, just accept the exercise for a second. What would get them to build and use space fleets?"
"Uh, maybe if they were programmed by some mad scientist to do cool stuff instead of smart stuff, but you're the only person who wants space war, and you can't do it."
"I can't, huh? We'll see about that."
"Sure we will, buddy."

Months later, Alexandros had something to show Manfred. "I rented a slot around a moon and set up a camera satellite."
"You rented what? How rich are you?"
"Pretty rich. I only have a job to get out of the house. Anyway, look at this."
The recording showed two spaceships which looked unlike anything in use. Bereft of mounts for containers, satellites, or tether repair equipment, it would be unclear what their purpose was to anyone not involved in the earlier conversations. Manfred said, "You actually built warships? How? You'd better not be a genius as well as rich or I'll have some things to say to the universe."
"Well, they're just small drones, but I can build and program them to fight." While Alexandros spoke, the ships maneuvered and launched tiny missiles at each other and generally carried on a thrilling space battle.
"See? Space fights are both possible and ultra cool. I mean, they're not real AIs, and the ships are tiny, but I could make them attack Earth I guess. That would start a real war."
"Well, no. You'd need the whole machine empire, not a proof of concept. Now let's suppose a mad scientist, we'll call him 'you,' did create a machine empire to attack Earth for fun. If you lose, the show's over. Worse than that, it's over if you win, too. Even if you can instigate a war, you can't keep it going."
"Oh, yeah."
"Don't act like your puppy died. Make your drones fight each other."
"Oh, yeah!" Alexandros frowned. "No, but, that will get old fast. The tactics and technology will be completely stagnant if I'm running both sides. And I'm not rich enough to build enough of these things. There should be hundreds on each side. Thousands even. They have to blow up too, or it's pointless."
"You're right. You'd better get other people involved."
"The problem is, I've been asking around and I think maybe not a lot of people do want space wars. Not enough, anyway." "So give them what they do want. Buy a bunch of stuff and offer it as prizes. Get your own ski lodge and set up vacations for the winning team."
"Make fun of me all you want," Alexandros said, "but I'm doing it."

"And that's how Space Battle League was founded. This concludes our tour." The tour guide bowed as the lights came back on. "We hope you enjoyed it and will continue to support us through the upcoming 6,500,000 point season and beyond."
"Wow," one of the tour members said. "That was much dumber than I expected. Aren't businesses usually a little more thought out or, I don't know, mature?"
"Maybe in the past." A man sitting in the back of the theater stood up and made himself known.
"Hey, that's Manfred!" The tourists went for their cameras.
"Maybe in the past or on Earth," company co-founder Manfred Borninspace Winkler went on. "I used to think humanity began settling the stars to create picturesque lakes and write crank newsletters. I was right, but I've realized it isn't just that. All those things are expressions of a deeper truth: We left Earth because one planet could never have enough room for all the silly nonsense people want to do. Humanity's capacity for buffoonery is infinite, and so we will continue expanding until the entire galaxy is filled with our stupid junk."

The Next Big Fad

Mummycore!

I don't know what that means, but the first person who figures it out will make a mint. Big old scarab on the cover, author quotations about how this is the finest in mummycore, the whole shebang.

Realism in Villain Motives

"Has deep backstory that makes villain somewhat sympathetic or makes his motives understandable" - unrealistic
"Is a jerk" - realistic
"Wants power" - most realistic

More Realism

Some say geography should conform to realistic forms, but it's even more realistic for nobody to care. Realism isn't always kind, I'm afraid.

The Realistic Basis of Fantasy

As fantastical as fantasy can be, it is vital to have a realistic base where the reader can stand. For instance, in the first Harry Potter book that dude doesn't learn a single thing in class, which if anything is a little too realistic.

Urban Planning

When King Sarmasso returned from his visit to his royal brother, he forthwith convened his magi.
"I am sick at heart," he told them. "I think of my brother's realm and my stomach trembles. How can it be that his city is grander than mine? How can it be that his home floats gently in the beautiful sky while mine is restricted to the ground? I ask you this in hopes you will alleviate my distress."
Magus Relo spoke. "My king, we have investigated these floating cities and how they are made. We can raise your city off the ground if you wish. However, your realm is exceedingly blessed by the wind. Your city will be buffeted violently and give you no pleasure."
"Then I enjoin you to accomplish one of two things. Either solve the problem and create a calmly floating city or devise some other alteration suitable for increasing prosperity." The magicians bowed.

Months later, King Sarmasso made an inspection of the atelier outside the city he had assigned the magi for their project. The building was not where he had ordered it, however. Instead of sitting on the ground it was on the side of a wall made of earth, showing its roof to the king.
"We have created an example, o lion among men," Magus Bemda told the king from above. All the magi's feet were firmly planted, keeping them sideways as though nothing were more natural. A cow and a chicken were performing the same feat. "It is safe to inspect from up here, if you like."
The king walked up a small earthen ramp. His stomach danced for a moment when he started up the sheer wall, but his legs carried him up the side without interruption . He surveyed the ground behind him and the sky all around, untroubled by the wild winds, and said, "I am gratified."

The city's buildings were soon rebuilt on great slabs of earth rising high in the sky. At first the slabs, later called districts, were set in a line with spaces between them so as not to block the west winds entirely. Further districts began curving to guard against the north winds as well, and soon the city assumed a quarter-ring shape.
Complaints about travel arose, since one could not walk from district to district without returning to the ground. To remedy this, the magi put up slats between districts where roads could be built. They further erected an outer ring of slabs covering the gaps between districts in the inner ring.
The city, so constituted, became prosperous. The districts freed most of the ground to be used for other purposes. Farms and orchards protected from strong winds sat at the bottom of the great slabs like supplicants at the feet of a kind master. The double ring calmed the winds that before made it difficult for ships to use the city's port, spurring a surge in commerce. Astrologers flocked to the one city where they could study the stars and planets at unusual angles.
King Sarmasso grew wealthy beyond all measure and beloved beyond all bounds. He invited kings and sages worthy of respect to tour his resplendent capital. One after another praised what he and his magi had done.

When King Saruesko returned from his visit to his royal brother, he forthwith convened his magi . . .

Of all the gods who bless mankind, the most beneficent must be Envy.

The Wide World

Not only did King Arthur conquer the Roman Empire, but Galahad ruled the Holy Land for some years. People looking back today think of Arthurian stories as something taking place in Britain, but for centuries the people telling, writing, hearing, and reading them thought of them as stories taking place in the world.

Back to Basics

Some works become discussed so much the participants come to know the work as discussed rather than the work as written, which can be something else entirely. How many people think the Iliad had a wooden horse in it or are sure The Lord of the Rings is long? How many people remember that time King Arthur conquered the Roman Empire? Even the Romans didn't remember that.

That's why we should read the works as written from time to time and come to fresh conclusions, such as this: Arthurian stories are much better when Lancelot isn't in them.

The State of the Genre

Not enough knights. Who's with me on this one?

A Bundling of Knightly Tales is now available for Kindle. Anyone looking for knightly tales in a knightly style should check it out.