On the Other Side of the Lethe

I was driving toward the herpetology conference when the evening and weather, dismissive of the intellectual as they always are, conspired to obscure the way. I paused at the first establishment which appeared both open and likely to have working wifi, which surprised me.
Not beause of the lack of customers; I anticipated that when I saw it to be a bookstore just large enough to prevent suspicions of a repurposed meat locker. Not on account of the shelves, at first glance, contained little but popular mysteries and fantasy epics popular during a period not indicated by "a couple years back," or the absence of functioning wifi. That it was open was the surprise. That is, open in the sense of existing as a business.
As for employees, it had one, a number I thought a trifle high. He happened to be a friendly man, Kirk Wentworth by name, who was able to describe the best route to the venue once I remembered part of its name, and soon I was underway again.
I am not a man accustomed to becoming lost solely because I check and recheck and 10 GOTO 20. Wishing to review my progress, I paused again at, this is a true tale, a newspaper stand by the roadside. It boasted a roof, to explain my choice.
A patron, the only one, thumbing through a magazine became interested in my mumbling, for I admit my sentiments did not permit a perfect dignified silence. I told him of the circumstances. He exclaimed at them. Kirk Wentworth, it seemed, had passed away some fifteen years earlier.
He therefore could not have known about certain construction projects which had altered the traffic situation. By contrast, the person to whom I was then speaking had died a mere eight years prior and accordingly was able to instruct me better. I arrived well in time. Several attendees shared similar incidents. We interpreted them as proof of the importance of the field of study which had captivated our mental energies.
Finis

Enigmas in Play

In a fantasy world somewhere, people are playing a board game. One of the pieces is a car. Nobody recognizes it as such. That's just what the piece looks like.

Marchuary

We call it March because it's time to get going. To space. Let's build a space elevator. Come on. We can't have a murder on the space elevator until we have the space elevator.

Surely Somebody's Done This Already

Fairy Mason

The Case of the Beleaguered Blackguard

The justiciar bashed through the door and entered the tavern, six men behind him and six more who waited outside at each entrance. He ignored the proprietor's objections as he surveyed the room, but not the inhabitants. Three in particular he marked out because of their strength and skill which both were obvious to him at a glance.
"I'm pressing you three to assist in the capture of this man." Saying that, he held up a proclamation of outlawry. The subject was nobody else but the blackguard Lobic. "What about it? Speak up."
The first of the three, a man of fierce looks who sat alone and intimidated any who thought to change that, grunted and said, "The blackguard Lobic. Fine. Let's hurry."
The second of the three, a man quick to smile and to put a hand on a weapon, turned from his seat at the busy bar and chuckled. "I had plans myself. The blackguard Lobic, is it? Doubt you'll ever catch him, no insult intended."
The third of the three, a man who had the air of one who has studied causes and effects, the powers of substances, and the intricacies of steel stood up from his crowded table and said, "It will be a diversion at least. I hope an instructive one. What is known of the blackguard Lobic?"
The justiciar smiled. "Arrest that false scholar. Oh, are you surprised, Lobic? Distressed? Didn't you notice? These two don't know how to say 'blackguard.' They've only seen the word. You're the one man here who's ever been called it!"
Finis

How to Integrate Mechs Into Your Setting

Do it on page one.

It's Almost Halloween

Did you remember to make out your wills? I advise against it. Do you know many people are murdered because they changed their wills so somebody kills them and destroys or hides the new will? About a third of all murder victims based on the literature.

Genre Confusion

Is a cozy mystery a story in which nobody much cares that somebody got murdered? That's the impression I've gotten, but maybe there's more to it. For instance, does it have to star Angela Lansbury? That could present problems for the subgenre in the future.

Challenge of the Flavorful Dish

"No, inspector. There are no signs of violence and no indication of poisoning. The cause of death is natural."
"I have reason to doubt that," Inspector Iagius said. What reason need there be aside from the intuition of that veteran avenger of crime? Nevertheless, grounds existed! The dead man had not gone through life without enemies or without making a will. That will . . . was missing!
The doctor cared about physiological signs and not motive. And rightly so. He shook his learned head. "The sole unusual fact about this corpse is how much garlic he must have eaten!"
"Garlic, you say?"
"Crates of it!"

*****

"Well, Mr. Modusta, I only have one question for you before I stop wasting your time."
"Not at all, Inspector. Happy to help."
"Is it true that the victim dined here the night of the murder?"
"It is."
"Falgunus! Arrest this man!"
"What?"
An escape attempt! Mr. Modusta made his try, but Custos Falgunus was too fast for him in body just as Inspector Iagius was in mind. He struggled, but he might as well have wrestled against a mountain!
"He's full of energy, sir!"
"I am! Because this is outrageous!"
"And deviltry. Mr. Modusta, I talked to your other guests. They reported tasting no garlic at all. You knew the victim had worn a vampire costume for a party once! That made him vulnerable to garlic in sufficient amounts, larger of course than what the true vampire requires, and that's why you had your chief load his dish alone with all the garlic in the house! Take him away, Falgunus."
Another triumph for Inspector Iagius!
Finis

Addendum

You can use "unprepossessing" too, but your main character had better be a priest who solves crimes or something of that sort.

Addendum

A C thug is worth one battle clue, R 2, SR 4, and SSR 7. So get your wallets out, fellas.

How Do We Bridge the Gap Between Action and Mystery?

Battle clues. Figure out the rest on your own. I don't know why you want that bridge in the first place. Can't sit still for a mystery? Come on.

Addender

A train between planets, like a space elevator, but slightly longer. What happens during the trip? A murder.

Addendum

More likely, the murderer planted the 3 to discredit the victim's ability to come up with good numerals.

The Problem with 2023

3 is the worst numeral. So unsightly. It's like the guy making it stopped halfway through. Maybe he was murdered. What a mystery!

Happy December

December facts:

1. This month is named after a dragon named Ecembe.
2. Snow.
3. Some think this is the tenth month of the year. They are correct.
4. The authorities use the lie of twelve months to create extra centuries of history filled with propaganda.
5. December is one of the best months for a murder mystery. June is good as well.
6. The weapon of December is the fusion beam.

Addendum

Hey! This emerald is a fake!

Challenge of the Secret Poison

"Far, far, and far again to the east and the south, it is said, there is a tree that bears on its extraordinary branches fruit that will never produce another such tree, for there is and ever will be only one. The fruits instead are full solid and flash blue, shine red, and glisten green. No tunnels dug into the wealth-hoarding earth brings forth finer material for jewelry.
"That was the story as told for centuries. Make up your mind, call it true or false on those words alone, for the journey was too long and too deadly for any but the most death-courting of adventurers. And one there was, in time. He trekked over every river and forded every danger, reaching the other side with a bit less blood than before, but with every grain of his intrepid nature. He reached the tree that stood just as legends told, except the ones about circling manticores or a jealous witch. Nothing guarded its fruit. An ordinary man would have taken a load of treasure and left, but who of that sort would ever have made it that far? The adventurer plucked a ruby, bit into it, and died. The fruit of that tree is poisoned.
"And that was the poison used in this case!" Inspector Iagius declared, and as always, he was correct.
Finis

Addendum

The obvious conclusion is that if you're ever sent to another world and don't know what genre it is, a good start is to murder the first few people you see and find out what happens. Better hope it's not a detective story, idiot!

Our Lawyers Suggested We Add This

It is not the position of this blog or its writers that anyone ought to invent a time machine and use it to commit crimes. Thank you for your understanding.