Addendum

If it's a magical talking mace, give each flange a different personality. Perhaps they're former wielders, the sages who gave their lives to infuse it with power, or the villains it was created to vanquish.

Apology for the Maligned

Everybody's always treating arrogant young masters like real foul dudes, but I just want to say if they're both young and masters, maybe they aren't actually arrogant.

Addendum

Yes, it can be the same villain every time with bigger heels or a robot body.

Every Pro Knows This Trick to Make Your New Villain Menacing!

Be sure to mention that he's 1.5 inches taller than the old villain. That what you can have sustainable threat escalation. The first villain should be a short little fellow of course.

2023 Is Still Here

I've been catching a lot of heat from the year after those things I said, so let's all say what we like about 2023. 0 is pretty classy, I think. There's mystery and intrigue in it, but also the chance for a new start. No wonder all those villains keep trying to return the world to it.

Ultima Lore Question

Why didn't the Avatar just call the Guardian "The Fartian" in public? He would have gotten everyone on his side. Also, what kind of villain is a big face? How did he even get followers? At least Andross was a genius scientist, and yes, I am saying Star Fox has a better story than Ultima VII.

Apocalyptic Thinking

We've had the post-apocalypse, we've had the pre-apocalypse, but what about the pro-apocalypse? Sometimes you just gotta clear some stuff out. For instance, suppose the dark lord won and controls the eight pillars, or maybe the author added a character the audience doesn't like. We have to get past this kneejerk response that the apocalypse is bad.

Redwall Question

Why do rats gotta be the bad guys, huh? Just look at this picture of one. It looks so . . . ergh. Ugh. Never mind.

Hopeless Sequels

When is Gawain going to fight the Red, Blue, Yellow, Pink, and Black Knights, anyway? Wait. Hold on. Is Gawain the villain?

Addendum

By good reason, I mean the villain is looking for some ancient artifact that will make him absolutely shredded. Whether he gets it and the hero has to fight him at full power, the hero gets it, or some underling gets it to become the true main villain I leave up to you.

The Best Science Fiction Predicts Future Social Trends

And that's why I'm telling you right now that people will say "Bonanza!" as sort of a slang thing. If not, that's how we'll know humanity took the wrong path. Perhaps we should reset this world to zero.

Christmas Gift Ideas

Attack your friend's village so he can go on a journey to defeat you!
Become a vampire so your friend can feel great sorrow when he has to kill you!
Invent faster-than-light travel so your friend can go on a space adventure!
Buy a truck and hit your friend with it to send him to another world!
Chocolate orange!

Villainous Motivation Table

You've designed a compelling cast of central characters and arranged the setting elements impeccably. You hired an artist to put your villain on the posters as well. But what's this? You forgot to figure out why the villain is so bent on doing what he oughtn't, and the clock is ticking! What can be done? Grab a random number generator and let the internet tell you what to do, of course.

1. Power!
2. The prophecy will be realized by those with the will to see it through.
3. Take credit for my design, will you?
4. On that day, the flames were so beautiful . . .
5. The title, the estate, the revenues. All are mine by right.
6. The secrets of that planet are too much for lesser minds.
7. As long as I make good on these contracts, what does it matter how I do it?
8. Loyalty is a burden when the master doesn't understand what must be done.
9. Wow! A hundred bucks!
10. Lightning powers, in the end, look the coolest.
11. What more may be done with such a device, and would it not be wrong to stop now without ever learning?
12. There's a big space in my trophy cabinet.

Now all that's left is to question your own motivations. If you want. I don't think it's going to get you anywhere.

Words That Are No Good

Contumely and contumacious. Who can remember which is which? Brainiac? Encyclopedia Brown? Not a normal Joe al'Shmoe, that's for sure.

Bitter Memories

Speaking of XP distribution, all my guys in Final Fantasy were the same level. Until we met Astos. No videogame villain has incurred such deep enmity as that.

How To Establish an Unsympathetic Character

Have him get murdered early on. The readers will figure he deserved it. That way there can be plenty of suspects.

Addendum

The Trolls of Gummi Bears. The Ghosts of Pac-Man. The Simon Bar Sinister of Underdog, which sounds like some kind of allegedly deconstructionist remake. Too bad nobody knows what deconstruction means.

A Realization Too Late

Why do those pirates get to be in the title of Pirates of Dark Water? The Pokemon cartoon isn't called Team Rocket of Pokemon, and you could make a better case for that one.

Lance Reminiscences

The first time I played the SNES Mechwarrior, I didn't know what a lance was. I thought the Dark Wing Lance was a vast criminal organization, not four unpleasant fellas.

Don't Think About This Though

Why do they call them the Forsaken when there are more than four of them???????