The Catalogue of Beasts

The hunter, great in prowess and local fame, repaired to a shrine to give thanks. There he heard this.
"Go and slay one of every kind of creature!"
He departed without complaint or question. For years he wandered, bringing down ferocious beasts to acclaim and trapping pests to ridicule. He learned the name of every animal and spared none of them, excepting not even man, though as it was a cheater at dice whose life he took, he doubted whether he counted as such.
When at last he was able to discover no prey not yet felled, he returned to the shrine, hoping for guidance. There he heard this. "You ran off before I announced the reward for the deed."
"There was to be a reward?" the hunter asked, amazed.
"Good health, everlasting fame, and a few score new kinds of beasts are even now coming into being should you wish to continue your hunt."
Regarding the first two, the hunter had little interest, but hearing the third he wept and praised the god.
Finis

Genuine Contributions of Ancient Astronauts

Everybody's always going on about pyramids and such, but what are the chances those helpful old aliens imported chickens, horses, wheat, and good stuff of that sort? And durian as a prank. I think parsley is probably native though. It's nice to have, but who would think to move it around?

One Horsepower

The only two things keeping horses alive are rich people and racing. Once we have cheetahs genetically engineered to have a little staying power and congenial personalities, it's all over.

Progress and the Losses Incurred Thereby

Lights came on to illuminate the stage opposite the speaker. On it stood a bewildered horse, an distracted turkey, a stoic mule, and a guinea pig in a cage.
"There are the guests of honor folks, but what's this? Party crashers?"
While the crowd laughed, another of each species came out (the guinea pig had to be wheeled by an assistant). The animals were of course kept separate to prevent incidents.
"There they are, and don't they all look lovely? Just like the real thing. In fact, they are real! The cloning process is as good as it's going to get and cheap too. That means, heh, we don't need to keep these fellows around! Get your bibs on!"
Thus began the feast to commemorate the first four species people decided to get rid of on purpose, not that there were many more, for few species are so easy to replace and to cook both.
Finis

Doubts Regarding Space Dragons

If we find space dragons, will scientists be reluctant to call them space dragons, or will they be all for it? Komodo dragons were a long time ago. Long enough to be retro. All right, I've decided, it's all space dragons from here on out. Though the "space" part might be a problem. Star dragons. Void dragons. Vacuum dragons. Stellar dragons.

The World of Prophecy Is Limitless

The oracle declared, "A whale and a lion will fight in the middle of the city!"
The wisest debated the hidden significance, whether it referred to a debate over strengthening the army or the navy for example, until one day a whale and a lion fought in the middle of the city.
"But now we need a reverse oracle to explain why that happened," one of the prominent citizens said, but in the meantime the people consulted the oracle again.
"A whale and a lion will fight in the middle of the city!"
"The same ones?"
To that the oracle had no answer. The citizens therefore waited, and they learned when next the event occurred that it was a different lion, though about the whale they were unsure. The original lion returned for the third match however.
The citizens became so used to tthat state of affairs that they were unprepared when new mines were discovered and a debate began over strengthening the army or the navy, but that struck them as trivial compared to the other matter. In the end, they relied on the lions and whales to dissuade invaders and spent the money on a new racecourse.
Finis

The Will to Secrecy

The customer picked up the sword, reverently it seemed, and admired it before turning the point toward its smith. "Now, if you please, the secret of your peerless weapons."
"Hmph. You aren't the first to try that," the swordsmith said. "It works, too, but once they hear it, they all swear to keep the secret. Of their own volition!"
"We will see. So?"
"It's the metal. Froganite."
"I have never heard of froganite. Are you sacrificing your life for a joke?"
"Of course you haven't heard of it. It's secret. Froganite is exceedingly rare because there's only one way to get it, and not from any mine. First, a steel frog devours gold flies. Then . . ."
"Then?"
"Then my assistants wait a week or so and pick up the, uh, result of the process. Takes a while to get enough."
The customer examined the sword again, somewhat less reverently. "Really?"
"Yep."
"Oh. Well." Saying that, he sheathed the magnificent blade, and nothing needed be said about whether he would tell anyone the truth behind it. On the verge of leaving, he paused. "How did anyone find that out?"
"You aren't the first to ask that, either."
Finis

Animal Comparisons

When you think about it, humans are mice to giants' rats. But then what are hobbits? More littler mice? Meeces? We have to figure out who the good guys are by Redwall rules.

The Transfer of Brilliance

You think stealing is good to do so long as you aren't caught? Listen to this story then. Formerly the sun resented the moon's greater brightness. It therefore went to all the animals, telling them, "Take away the moon's cloak and give it to me! I will reward you for it."
Of all the animals, only Salmon, Herring, Trout, and their relatives were stupid enough to listen. They entered the bower where the moon rests during the day as easily as laughing, for the moon was not on guard against such foolishness. They hurried back to the sun with the stolen cloak.
"Put it on me right away! The honor of doing so is the first of your rewards."
The silly fish did so, and forthwith the cloak gave forth radiance and heat too great for any animal to bear. The fish screamed and ran. They didn't stop even after they jumped into lakes, rivers, and oceans to relieve their pain, and they swam so far that they lost their legs. Now they can't come back on the land. The moon never caught them, but do you envy their fate?
Finis

Addendum

Radscorpion, however, is a less rad name than scorpion by itself.

About Scorpions

Would scorpions be as popular if their name weren't as cool? No. They would not. Scorpion is a rad word for a mediocre animal.

Addendum

Don't they have predators? Who can hear?

Building Atmosphere

Every once in a while, when your heroes are out in the late eveningn, remember to mention how loud insects get. I can't believe they survive like that. It's ridiculous.

Novel Research

I'm just saying a fantasy writer isn't respectable till he's cut the liver out of a bull. No, it doesn't matter if the story features haruspicy. Why would it?

Addendum

Whereas the wind sage on the eagle and the one on the arctic tern get along famously.

Natural Rivalries

I bet the water sage who rides on a dolphin and the one who rides on a jellyfish compete all the time, just complete loggerheads.

Animal Sacrifice

I think animal sacrifice might make a comeback in the future, but for the time being, be sure to consider including it in your fantasy or scifi setting. You don't gotta, but at least make a deliberate choice.

Journey of the Frog Prince

Once upon a time there was a frog prince, and he was troubled for he had no subjects. "I must subject frogs to my government if I am to be a true prince," he said to no one, for he had as yet no court. He sought frogs to rule over, and while doing so, of course he ran into an adventure.
There was a castle, and outside it a knight wept for all the magnificence of his arms and his steed, and moreover he had many followers. The frog hopped to him and asked the cause of his sorrow.
"I see that you are a prince among frogs, Your Highness," the knight said and bowed. "Inside this castle lives a coward who has kidnapped my wife, my parents, my brothers and sisters, and that is to speak only of my own woes. He loves ransom and nothing else. The solution to the problem would be easy if ever he came to face me, but knowing that he hides himself behind those walls that were enchanted by a sorcerer for whom the coward did some wicked deed. I cannot bring them down no matter the engines I bring against them."
"I'm minded to chastise this fellow," the frog replied. "Array your people outside the gate and observe." After bidding the knight in that fashion, the frog hopped up to the walls and with a princely leap crossed over entirely. Soon he had the gate open, for though there were guards, the event surprised them so much that they fainted.
The knight stormed the castle and soon proved the truth of his earlier boast by beheading the cruel lord of the place. Everyone was free of that menace, whereupon the frog prince received much praise.
The knight further asked if there was anything they might do for the frog, whereupon the animal replied, "Certainly, if you might tell me where to find common frogs, for it is quite improper for me, a prince, not to rule over subjects."
"That is true, Your Highness, but I cannot see why they must be frogs that you rule." The knight said that and did homage on the spot, and everyone in the castle followed. As the years passed, the frog prince's power only grew. When next you wonder why we are ruled by frogs, remember there was a good reason for it, whatever you think of the arrangement now.
Finis

The Future's Sole Preoccupation

There it was, the lamentable routine. The distant curve forbade anyone from forgetting he lived inside a space colony, the dream of generations, but closer up, everything was as it ever was. Roger marched toward his designated external trash receptacle, rake in hand, ready to repel the scavengers the engineers back on Earth insisted were necessary for sustainable life beyond the planet. "They spent trillions to make, get out of here, space rats and space raccoons! Get out of here! Get!"
It was the indignity he hated most, Roger thought during the indignity of leaning over to poke the trash cart with the rake at maximum distance. He hated whichever part of the routine he was in the most. Regardless, the raccoon made that weird hissing noise, jumped out, and skittered away. Roger sighed and began composing mentally another request to let colonists put lids on the carts.

That scene was captured by recording equipment miles away. The operative checked the setup, confirmed, and activated his communicator. "I have the combat data," he reported.
"Good. Return immediately to the secondary . . . what's that sound?"
Helicopters deactivated their optical camouflage, eight of them. Through a loudspeaker on the lead, someone demanded, "Leave the combat data there. This is your warning."
By the end of the warning, the operative was hanging from the building's side, about to crash through a top-floor window, when bullets going the other way shattered the glass. "That combat data is ours," the lead power armor declared.
The battle soon became general the way it did every day. As new as life in space was, the routine was already old.
Finis

Addendum

Parakeets? Paralyzekeets.