The Fly's Gratitude

One day the great progenitor came upon the fly in distress. "Help me!" it cried. "I'm on this weed over here but I want to be on that one!"
The great progenitor, wise, with no thought of gain, suggested, "Have you tried flying there?"
The fly did so and was amazed at the success of the plan. "Thank you! Someday I'll come to your aid in return!"
"In what way could you ever aid me?"
"I don't know!"
Ever since then flies have flitted about us, hoping one day to be of use.
Finis

Unbelievable Settings

You might think you're clever, having cats be entirely absent from your world. The problem is that people instinctively reject utopias.

Unicorn Hierarchy

Do you suppose killing the master unicorn will change all the unicorns it turned back into regular horses? I think that might be too optimistic.

Pegasus Maintenance

Nobody wants to talk or even think about it, but the fact is, if you're counting on your flying horses to perform at their best, your people will need to get them to drop off their loads before they take to the air. Fortunately, there are always young recruits to do it. It's a priceless learning experience, they'll be told. The best part is they know they'd better pretend to agree unless they're in love with unemployment.

The First Shaping of the Land

Shortly after the world was created, there was land and nothing else, and flat land to boot. There was nothing of interest. Animals roamed without purpose.
By miraculous chance, First Horse and First Bee. Bored, they exchanged a few boasts.
"Behold how I fly," First Bee proclaimed. "What do your legs do?"
First Horse snorted and kicked the ground, crumpling it up into valleys and hills. "So much for not having strong legs. What can you do?" He showed his contempt further by spitting. The salive dribbled into the valleys and started up the rivers.
"Lord! Master! Great one! I admire what you did. I'll make a new home for you to rest half the day after you perform your feats." First Bee flew up and made the first beehive for First Horse. We call it the sun.
That was how the work of creation began. As for everything else, the oceans, the mountains, the lakes, plateaus, forests, clouds, corn, all else there is, First Pig was busy inventing it at the same time but he never got much honor for it. Things usually go similarly today.
Finis

A Matter of Maturity

The promising child studies bunny magic, the apprentice rabbit magic, and the master bunny magic.

Undersea Kingdom Categorization.

1. Formerly a land kingdom but just look what happened.
2. Currently operates like land because of magic, divine providence, supertechnology, etc.
3. Sea creatures.

Those are the categories I can think of. Do they cover everything? Watery aliens are three, ghosts and undead are one, the future is two. Atlantis one, Jabberjaw two, Snorks three. Yeah, I think that just about does it, but I'm open to correction.

The Inscrutable Meed of Valor

After the battle, the great spirit Elgophan addressed Jinios thus: "You, a mortal man, have made an unforgettable exhibition of your might and bravery against these baercaces. I am minded to exchange gifts. Here, I will have that shield, rent to uselessness save as a trophy, and take you this lizard canister."
"A . . . what?" The firmament sent down a single of its jewel-like stars which resolved itself in Jinios's hands as a canister some eight inches long. Its surface had a dull sheen to it. "Oh, a canister, that I suppose contains a lizard possessed of peculiar virtues." "There is no lizard inside it."
"Oh. Can it contain a lizard?"
"Certainly."
"Can it be filled with things other than lizards?"
"It must be so, before the end."
While Jinios examined it the mysterious gift, Elgophan disappeared, and never again did they meet.
Years later, the theft of the Gochish Arract from the despot's vault succeeded as far as the acquisition, but the extraction was another matter. Jinios acted to assist the rash but likable thieves by hiding the Arract on his person, but the thorough guards restricted their examination in no way at all.
"Nothing on this one, but what might he be hiding in here?" The guard held up the canister and shook it.
"Haven't you ever seen a lizard canister? All you're doing is agitating the lizard. And wasting time."
With that, the canister was handed back to Jinios, who, awed at the manifold windings of fate, then recalled the final words of Elgophan.
Finis

Don't Forget This in Your Fantasy Setting!

Are centaurs scared of elephants? How about camels? The ramifications are staggering.

Orthography Corner

I decided to get to the bottom of this griffin/griffon/gryphon/grifter situation by asking an honest-to-goodness Greek guy who claimed they actually existed. When I asked him about the source of the griffin's name, he replied, "What griffin? Do you mean the gryps, you idiot? You buffoon? You animal-ignorant barbarian? Let's start a bit simpler. Tell me the name of that animal over there. The one that says 'woof woof.' Moron." So I dismissed him. That's why more people don't pursue necromancy today.

Addendum

Unless dodo magic facilitates travel between worlds of course, which, upon reflection, it almost certainly does.

Big Idea Fantasy

How about this: In another world, the dodo still exists! Probably not for long, though. Our world doesn't even have dragons, recently, and look how well that dumb bird fared.

The Zoo of Mankind's Yearning

We limped away from the encounter fortunate only by comparison.. The Yuengians, who style themselves independently minded but are in fact pirates, suffered what they intended for us and what still might transpire, unable to resume our course as we were.
Our researches yielded a planet nearby which was registered as habitable. We could do no better. The prospect improved upon approach when we detected signs of not just potential but the thing itself: A vast compound existed near an artifically regular lake easily capable of accommodating our entire convoy.
The job of trying to raise the inhabitants devolved to me based on the reasoning that many who closed their doors to regular strangers opened them for correspondents, particularly ones as famous as the captains pretended me to be. My rejoinder that the opposite often pertained did not win me free from the responsibility. I proved, not the respect accorded my profession, but to have some small knowledge of interstellar celebrity when I recognized Herzerd Klobsarn, the genuinely famous gene theorist. Nor was he displeased at the recognition; in that at least I may have aided my fellow survivors a little.
Klobsarn provided hospitality far beyond the most optimistic projection. The many empty furnished rooms, he said, had been used by laborers who had long since departed. He had seen no reason to bother with tearing down the surplus quarters, negligence which seemed to us a miracle. He maintained stores such as sufficed to feed us and effect repairs out of what he described as two excesses, one of caution and the other of curiosity, for his projects demanded resources.
He was happy to show us one. The complex housed an unthinkable menagerie of creatures created by mingled design and serendipity. If I tell you to imagine horns that are not horns and wings that operate according to unconventional mechanisms, you will not understand me, and in that I have succeeded. For I did not understand what I saw there.
"But why?" I asked. More detail seemed a superfluity.
"Across greater humanity, some seventy-six million sports teams are called the Wildcats. Another twelve million are Bears or Bruins, and barely fewer are the Cardinals. Each planet, each continent, each region must have its own species. I leave it to the denizens to name them, but I take it upon myself to make them."
I was impressed more than ever by the benevolent character of Herzerd Klobsarn.
Finis

Wisdom Hidden in Remote Cavities

In accordance with custom, the aspirant upon returning to his homeland stood in the square to answer questions about his endeavor.
"Did you succeed in learning the oyster magic, and can you make pearls for us?"
"I learned everything there is, little in fact. The oyster magic causes a feeling of irritation without extending to pearl formation."
"That is no different from your usual attitude. Has the magic enabled other abilities?"
"Certainly. The general mending, the destructive spurt, the imparted lightness of motion, the specialized mending of sores, the—"
"What oyster can do those things? I doubt your claim."
"What man or woman can, and yet the human magic involves these same techniques."
"Well, I am convinced your journey was worthwhile. I perceive the sentiment is universal. Your enrollment as a citizen is assured."
"Thank you. You nincompoop."
"Wait for the enrollment to say that to a citizen."
"It is the irritation, you see."
"Certainly."
Finis

The Tale of the Brave Rhino

One day, the rhino conceived envy regarding the many and glorious horns other animals possessed. He went on a journey. Coming across the deer, he asked how he acquired such magnificent antlers.
"I traded for them."
"I understand. Will you trade them to me?"
"There is no chance of that. Last time, I traded away my good sense, and now I can think of nothing that could benefit me." The deer then bounded away.
The rhino wandered. Coming across the goat, he asked how he acquired his distinctive horns.
"Simply by intimidating weaker animals."
"I understand. I am bigger than you. Give me your horns."
But the goat chuckled and hopped up into the mountains.
The rhino sojourned. Coming across the tiger, he saw it engaged in battle with the demon. The tiger was getting the worse of it before the rhino reinforced him. The pair together repelled the demon.
Whereupon the tiger said, "I never knew your courage and prowess, rhino. Let us exchange gifts like heroes." The rhino thereby gained the tiger's mighty horn and friendship while the tiger adopted the rhino's stripes as his own bold emblem.
Moral: What works for one may not for another.
Moral 2: If you see a demon, fight it. Help is coming.
Finis

Addendum

Harnessing war-cheetahs to your chariot is advisable only if flight is anticipated, and people will judge your bravery accordingly.

Military Innovation

If you had a chariot pulled by crabs, you could strafe. There's probably a planet out there which has crabs big enough that hasn't figured this out yet, but soon a great empire will arise.

The Catalogue of Beasts

The hunter, great in prowess and local fame, repaired to a shrine to give thanks. There he heard this.
"Go and slay one of every kind of creature!"
He departed without complaint or question. For years he wandered, bringing down ferocious beasts to acclaim and trapping pests to ridicule. He learned the name of every animal and spared none of them, excepting not even man, though as it was a cheater at dice whose life he took, he doubted whether he counted as such.
When at last he was able to discover no prey not yet felled, he returned to the shrine, hoping for guidance. There he heard this. "You ran off before I announced the reward for the deed."
"There was to be a reward?" the hunter asked, amazed.
"Good health, everlasting fame, and a few score new kinds of beasts are even now coming into being should you wish to continue your hunt."
Regarding the first two, the hunter had little interest, but hearing the third he wept and praised the god.
Finis

Genuine Contributions of Ancient Astronauts

Everybody's always going on about pyramids and such, but what are the chances those helpful old aliens imported chickens, horses, wheat, and good stuff of that sort? And durian as a prank. I think parsley is probably native though. It's nice to have, but who would think to move it around?

One Horsepower

The only two things keeping horses alive are rich people and racing. Once we have cheetahs genetically engineered to have a little staying power and congenial personalities, it's all over.