Once there was a lovely little cottage in which nobody lived. A prince took up there for a short time, but he left after finding the secret of the wardrobe. A second prince came later, but he left after he discovered the secret of the attic. A third prince moved after unearthing the secret of the cellar.
"I think we have to give up on this idea of dumping the place on a prince, sir. They have money and not much sense, true, but they aren't stable renters."
"Nonsense," declared Realty Sorcerer Garvaskem. "The secrets you planted there simply were insufficiently fell, my apprentice. Try again."
The cottage is still available.
Finis
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