Saturday, November 30, 2024

Negative Howling, for Example

Many think that just because their characters are fighting with tanks or spaceships that they can't have named special attacks. They couldn't be more wrong.

Friday, November 29, 2024

The Sun Is Obsolete

Remember to have your fantasy world orbit the beating heart of a god, the final resting place of heroes, the mixing bowl where monsters are made, or something fun like that instead of dumb atom nonsense.

Addendum

"It was man's sins that choked off the cornucopia, so dirty they are and so many, and only by his blood may those sins be dissolved!" - A prophet or something.

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Thanksgiving Fantasy

I don't have a single idea. Riding turkeys? Is that doing anything for anybody? The cornucopia has promise.

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Horror Has Been Missing This Simple Trick!

Flowerew. Think about it.

I just thought about it and realized this would only work if a bunch of murders were happening in a hippie commune and it turned out one of them was a werewolf, so I think we might have missed the boat on this one.

Monday, November 25, 2024

The Next Wave

All these years of making cookbooks based on novels have brought us at last to the point of making novels based on cookbooks. Think of the worldbuilding.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Talons of Braves

Near any crossroads must be an establishment to serve travelers, and in any such establishment, should the bold arrive in numbers, boasts will be heard. One day, brave men going in every direction happened to be in one place, so of course one stood and proclaimed the virtues of his arms.
"This sword you see, and this shorter sword, and this shield as well, are in truth a claw's three talons of the formerly fearsome dragon Grand Madness, and this helmet is of his hide. It was the smith Iriklio who made them."
That was a boast impossible to ignore, for five other braves stood and proclaimed their story the same. Moreover, they compared their arms and saw them identical.
"Six sets! How many claws has a dragon, my friends? I think me what is right for us to do is to chastise that Iriklio who mocks his customers!"
That proposal proud on the outside and filled inside with wrath all six accepted. But then, what was that? A clamor outside of yells and screams! They departed and saw this.
A dragon stood, fierce, his wings spread, and named himself. "I am Edge of Terror, vassals, and who bears the dragon's arms, the talons of Grand Madness, today he dies! For I am his son." And he stood on six feet and six claws.
The braves therefore prepared for the fight.
Finis

Friday, November 22, 2024

Ranking of Weapons Appropriate for Your Fantasy Main Character

1. Sword
2. Bow
3. Comically Large Hammer
4. Dagger
5. Polearm
6. Ax
7. Razor-Sharp Hoop
8. Normally Sized Hammer
9. Whip
10. Spear

Secret twist ending: Now roll for which one your character gets.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Making Your Science Fiction Less Sterile

Replace the hivemind with a jivemind. Now that your science fiction seems twee instead, it's ready for Tiktok.