The Struggles of Writing

If you give anything in your fantasy or science fiction world a name half as dumb as haberdasher, everyone will laugh at you.

The Hat Festival

You think the hats we wear are vain frippery, do you? That we ought to have plain wool to cover our heads and nothing more? Let your elders explain to you where you have erred on this, the day of the hat festival.
Once upon a time, when the world had not quite settled in, the sun found itself discontented with its daily journey across the sky for this reason, that the scenery varied little from trip to trip. To relieve its boredom, the sun had recourse to a plan it thought sure to succeed, which was asking the creatures of the land to alter the appearance of their topmost regions, a request all would embrace, the sun believed, on account of their reverence for the celestial disc that made life possible.
It first approached the lions, whom it favored for their golden majesty. "We will not cut our manes or muddy them or dye them either, for we are proud of them," the lions said, and heeded the sun not at all, nor did other hairy beasts respect it more.
Next it beseeched the aurochs, whom it favored for their weight and respect for customs. "We will not trim our horns or shape them, for we have need of them as they are and do not think much of change in any case," the aurochs said, and all other horned beasts said the same and refused the sun's request.
All other creatures scorned the sun as well until finally it asked humans, whom before the sun despised because they hid their heads from it. "We will act in this way, o lord of the sky, that we will design all manner of head coverings and change them regularly, both individually and across entire societies, hoping the variety might please you." The humans kept their word and found such favor with the sun they became the rulers of all other creatures so that the beasts which scorned the sun had cause to regret what they had done, especially the aurochs.
Finis

The Sociology of Space Colonization

On Mars, the internet
Is different.
They don't have pictures of cats.
They have pictures of Mars cats.

Speaking of Familiars

You can put a tophat on a bull and no one will make fun of you. They wouldn't dare.

The Latest Trends

Out: Sexy fortunetellers

In: Familiars wearing tophats

Worst Lost Continents Day 45

Atlantis doesn't have any fantastical animals or a unique pantheon either. It's just cities of boring drowned people.

Worst Lost Continents Day 15

Orichalcum is hard to spell, too.

Three Treasures

When Aren's three sons met in a field to divide his inheritance among themselves, it was not only one another they found but also something not there before, a sword that was sharp indeed and finer than any they had seen in their young lives. No hand was on it and the field was their father's, so there was no question but that one of them would take it.
"I am the oldest, so it is mine by right," said the oldest brother, Oren.
Tyren, the middle brother, disputed his claim. "This sword is nothing of our father's, so that it must go to you is no sure thing. Rather the strongest of us should take it, and I am he."
The youngest brother, Wiren, made his case. "You, brother, are the oldest and you, brother, are the strongest. I admit all that. Therefore I should have the sword. Oren will have the lands and Tyren will have his mighty arm, and what will I have? I need the sword most of all."
"Strike me down if you have not said something full of reason and justice," Oren said. "I will let you have the sword with this understanding, that the first treasure you win with it must go to me and the second to your brother. All later treasures you win will be yours."
Tyren assented as well, so Wiren took the sword and went out into the world to make three fortunes. First he considered what treasure would be best for his oldest brother and came to the surest conclusion in the world, that what a landholder needs is a wife. The best woman he knew of who had no husband was Agrani daughter of Agrawald the king, so he went to his court.
Agrawald was the mightiest king there was and the cruelest. His daughter went unmarried because he slew any suitor who came to her, but not only that, he slew any other traveler he saw as well, sparing not even children or priests. He tried to slay Wiren as well, but the sword Wiren held cut well and made two half-kings of him and everyone was glad at it, his daughter most of all.
Wiren called for his brother and told Oren this. "I won a treasure for you, brother, but I hope I did not do wrong, since I think you must have the whole kingdom if you take Agrani as your wife, for the king is slain." Oren did not balk at the condition but instead told Wiren he judged the debt of the sword fully paid as far as he was concerned.
Next Wiren pondered what treasure was best for a middle son and settled on an answer justified by long and prosperous usage, which was a ship to make his living. He asked around to find out what ship men thought was the best and learned it was the one Pethred had built. He went to that man and asked for his ship that was long and stout and sailed without a crew and had this for his answer.
"I fashioned this ship for one purpose, to take me over the raging ocean to Tolngley, the unknown land of wonders. If you come with me and guard me on the way there, I will see that you come back with the ship in your care, for I will not return by that method."
Pethred set out with Wiren and no other crew, and on the way a terrible creature attacked the ship with flailing tentacles. Wiren cleaved every tentacle as it came near and filled the deck with monstrous, wriggling limbs. Bereft of arms, the monster had no choice but to let them pass. Wiren returned a long time later with the ship and stories of the fabled land of Tolngley where things are different. Tyren took the ship and listened to the stories as well, and made a great fortune by courage and trade so that he considered the debt of the sword fully paid.
Wiren then bethought himself what treasure there was he should win for himself, but decided nothing in the world was so good as what his brothers had. He therefore practiced the arts he learned in Tolngley and refined them further until he made treasures for himself and filled the world with wonders, so that even today we call only the greatest of crafted things wirenworks.
Finis

Worst Lost Continents Day 2

Plus it lost a war to Athens. What kind of continent loses a war against a city and some outlying villages?

Worst Lost Continents Day 1

It's time to count down the worst lost continents to use in fiction. This could take months, so gird yourself and get some lemonade.

Number One: Atlantis. It wasn't even supposed to be real, for crying out loud.