Use This Now!

"Fantasy" is too broad a term. From now on, call the genre "magispec" so we can call James Bond fantasy and nobody will be confused. You might think nobody is confused already, and you're right, but think of all those poor souls who pushed "speculative fiction" and couldn't get it done. What's wrong with a little compromise?

How to End Your Story

"Congratulation! Thanks For Your Reading"

Novel Formatting

How about we put the main narrative on every other page and then fill the other one with a chorus commenting on the action? That's hard to do digitally, which means physical books can have a point again.

The Cursed Voyage of the Ancient King

"Preserve our heritage!" "Save our king!"
Protestors stuffed the streets, they stuffed the waterfront and the piers. The supervisors and bureaucrats in charge of moving the mummy to the ship and away shook their heads and said they would try again later, knowing the futility of it. The protestors did not disperse before the sun's rays did. Even then they left sentinels.
Every protestor who went home fell promptly into a satisfied sleep, and every one had that sleep disturbed. They dreamed together of an empty chamber, bare but for a terrible presence too noble for eyes belonging to people of their sort to resolve into a person. "A curse," the figure proclaimed. "A curse on all who interrupt my vacation. An unyielding curse!"

* * * * *

"Preserve our leisure!" "Save our king's plans!"
Protestors stuffed the side of the streets, they formed lines to the pier. The supervisors and bureaucrats acquiesced to their demands to move the mummy posthaste, wholly mystified.
Finis

Proper Halloween Titles

Sure you want to have skeleton kings and vampire kings, but is king a scary title? How about kaiser, doge, pharaoh, or potentate? Really it's just kaiser, but I wanted to see how the others look in print. Very plain. My goosebumps are gooseflat.

Addendum

The reason is that clowns are far too scary. It was crippling the economy because nobody wanted to come out from under the bed.

Halloween Roundup

Is anyone still trying to pretend clowns are scary? I think that died out, and for good reason.

Halloween Sorting

Let's examing the categories of how people celebrate Halloween in particular and October generally.

Halloween Horror Type: These people watch well-reviewed horror movies and play Alien: Isolation.
Halloween Irony Type: These people watch Friday the 13th movies after the first one and play Unity asset flips.
Halloween Spooky Type: These people carve jack o'lanterns, put skeletons in their yard, and play Castlevania and Disgaea.

There is a group which does nothing at all, but it's better not to say anything about that. The important thing is to find your faction and coordinate to win the Splatoon Splatfest which will have this as its theme any day now. Spooky Type is clearly the most popular, but Irony Type probably has better players.

Addendum

They don't have to be captive, but what you trust them otherwise?

Pre-Modern Solutions

You can still have a conveyor belt in olden times. It just needs to be powered by mules or captive genies.