One day, the Horrelfot Geyser sprayed gold instead of water. The margrave, thinking of the costs of his current and contemplated entanglements, sent men to dig there, whether for gold or more likely some item strange in its properties.
A few yards of pit later, the men unearthed the cause of it, which was a gnome holding a mass gold. He explained that he realized recently he had neglected to wash his bedding for a few hundred years and nothing less powerful than the geyser would do. The bundle, unrolled, proved to be thick sheets far too heavy for any one of the helpful diggers to lift even when they agreed to assist with the washing.
One among them, not content to suppress his curiosity even when dealing with creatures from whom no sense could be expected, asked the gnome if he would not prefer softer sheets, linen perhaps. The conversation revealed the ignorance gnomes have of comforts. A trade was arranged so that the gnome went away with the softest sheets in the county which were the margrave's own, and his bed too, and his pillows.
The margrave prospered after that, nor did he forget to bestow upon his able servant lands and honors. The new vassal's emblem became a golden sheet in commemoration of that incident, and not because "nobody could think of anything meaningful for that undistinguished family," as you alleged in your scandalous publication. Now that this court has instructed you better, an apology is expected and will reduce the fine from devastating to instructive.
Finis
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