Monday, July 25, 2022

On the Future of Political Science

Theo straightened up, smiling. The sunflowers were coming in nicely. They looked as close to the pictures as anything he had ever tried to grow, not counting pictures of bombed-out battlefields. Things were looking up for the old lawnissimus.
He was still watering when the government shuttle pulled up. Sleek and dark, made entirely from one-way translucent material, the vehicle stopped on a penny's small change right in front of Theo's standardized domicile.
A man stepped out with a tablet in one hand and a universal surgical device in the other. "You have been reassigned to District 77509. Where would you like your ID chip?"
"Oh, uh, I think there's room under my left armpit. Ouch! Thanks. Why was I reassigned?"
The official answered as he did his paperwork, sans paper. "You know how we developed the ability to detect human happiness remotely?" "Yeah, sure."
"And reconfigured our political system to choose representatives based on happiness directly instead of by proxies such as voting or riots?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, naturally we started new-style gerrymandering the second that happened. And at a house-by-house level, too. You're a little too happy for District 77498. Larson has sufficient approval as it is. All right, done. Have fun in your new district."
"I'm sure I will." Theo waved at the departing shuttle.
Afterwards he discovered some weeds in his backyard. A government shuttle drove up five minutes later.
Finis

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