Q&A Corner

Q. What is the proper genre for a videogame adaptation of The Elfstones of Shannara?
A. Tower defense.

The Cordial Sun

Once upon a time, when things were better than they are now, the people were so grateful for their blessings that they held a great festival. They invited everyone in the world to attend and stocked every food and drink in the world. They put on every kind of entertainment as well. Poetry and pies, races and raisins, music and mutton, and up and down the alphabet.
They did not forget also to invite guests. The dogs came, and the birds of the land, and those of the sea as well. The tallest giraffes and the shortest fairies attended alongside the wisest owls and the most foolish otters. A guest honored above them all appeared when invited, and that was the cordial sun whom the people loved the most.
The birds and bats and butterflies all danced around the radiant sun, and every man and beast asked for a dance. The sun judged all the events as well and made merry all day long and much of the night.
In truth, the sun made too merry for too long, and as a result stumbled, fell into the lake, and drowned. That is why there is now only one sun in the sky, the cruel sun that lashes us with heat and abandons us to the cold.
Finis

Then the Spinoff

A crossover series about people who had cursed weapons at some point. Some stories would be sad, some happy, some bittersweet. Most would end up being comedic. It's hard to take the premise seriously for that long.

Sober Reflection

You can make fun of Re:Zero collaboration events all day, but if there had been a section in The Fires of Heaven where Elric showed up and went on an adventure with Mat, everyone would have voted that the best fantasy book of all time.

A Horror Story

Once a small indie studio made a game. When they tried to test it, they discovered . . . Re:Zero had already collabed with it! Dun dun dun!

Other Gacha News

Should we call Rem, Ram, and Emilia the Three Guest Characters of the Apocalypse or the Unholy Trinity? The White Tri-Stars? The Old Hat Trick?

Review of the Ronin Warriors Collaboration Event in Langrisser Mobile

They played the OP during the second part of the last fight. 10/10.

Trends and Philosophy

I was checking to see if sonicwasnevergood.com was available when disquieting thoughts attacked me. Is Sonic a hero who seems edgy but isn't? He certainly isn't edgy, but does he seem edgy? He certainly has a lot of spikes. Quills. Whatever. And yet, he's a pudgy little guy who looks at his watch all the time. Bankers and railroad personnel aren't edgy.
I don't think anyone today would call Sonic edgy, but maybe that's the highest form of seeming to be edgy but not being so. His true nature shines forth with such strength as to blind us to his spikes and his speed, the special ability of choice for edgelords everywhere.

A Common Scenario

That day, the conditions inside the club were so clear and cool, so conducive to the state between sleep and waking, that the members were able to persuade Gorilla Mage Honorius to tell them a tale about how he learned his gorilla magic.
"I was attending a function in Farther Deul some years back, and I hope you don't want to know its purpose or the host, because I have entirely forgotten. What I remember is that it was a masked affair, and a man wearing a gorilla mask coughed on me. Rude, but I didn't dwell on that. I also didn't worry about the dreams and visions I had afterwards, because everyone has one or two of those, but after a week of it I lost my indifference.
"I asked advice from the learned there. A sage told me I would never find out who the man was or what my dreams meant, but also that I needed to find the Gorilla Pillar if I wanted them to stop. Have any of you heard of it? I hadn't. It turned out to be a place far beyond Farther Deul's borders. The dangers might have dissuaded anyone with sense, but I was young, and I wanted my dreams back.
"I hired men and made the journey. We passed cities, then towns, then villages, then huts of hermits and sages. Those ended, too. We were assaulted by the birds that hunt cameleopards, for they had little prey left, but I thrashed them. We encountered the Eight-Finger Men as well. After some roughhousing, we understood each other. I had to sniff out Chameleon Mage Waltherius and give him a beating when he tried to make mischief."
"No hard feelings, I hope," Waltherius said.
"None at all. I'm sure all those trials had a meaning. At least we came to the Gorilla Pillar, so named from the gorilla statue atop it. I sat under it and meditated for two days and three nights, and when I stood I knew the fundamentals of gorilla magic. That was only the start, but all of you understand that well." The other members all nodded and thanked him for the story.
Finis

The Newest Locked Room Mystery

In a room with no windows that is barred from the inside, a man and a skeleton are found. If that guy didn't raise the skeleton, who did? The detective begins his investigation.