The Newest Science Fiction Subgenre

400 pages of describing hi-tech equipment such as spaceships, guns, and lathes. No plot. No characters. Pure things.

We Need Dramatic Fantasy

I don't know what that means, but I don't know what it meant when Super Robot Wars was advertised as a Dramatic Simulation either. I think it's that characters talk during the stage sometimes.

Restraint Is Overrated

Right now you're probably thinking, "I can't call something in my story a dragodrake. That's just silly." In two years, somebody's going to do just that and sell six million copies. Restraint is cowardice dressed up real nice.

The Future's Sole Preoccupation

There it was, the lamentable routine. The distant curve forbade anyone from forgetting he lived inside a space colony, the dream of generations, but closer up, everything was as it ever was. Roger marched toward his designated external trash receptacle, rake in hand, ready to repel the scavengers the engineers back on Earth insisted were necessary for sustainable life beyond the planet. "They spent trillions to make, get out of here, space rats and space raccoons! Get out of here! Get!"
It was the indignity he hated most, Roger thought during the indignity of leaning over to poke the trash cart with the rake at maximum distance. He hated whichever part of the routine he was in the most. Regardless, the raccoon made that weird hissing noise, jumped out, and skittered away. Roger sighed and began composing mentally another request to let colonists put lids on the carts.

That scene was captured by recording equipment miles away. The operative checked the setup, confirmed, and activated his communicator. "I have the combat data," he reported.
"Good. Return immediately to the secondary . . . what's that sound?"
Helicopters deactivated their optical camouflage, eight of them. Through a loudspeaker on the lead, someone demanded, "Leave the combat data there. This is your warning."
By the end of the warning, the operative was hanging from the building's side, about to crash through a top-floor window, when bullets going the other way shattered the glass. "That combat data is ours," the lead power armor declared.
The battle soon became general the way it did every day. As new as life in space was, the routine was already old.
Finis

Addendum

Or squash. Those people have money also. Don't bother with skating, though. In the first place, Bionic Lester covered that ages ago.

So why was he called Bionic Lester? Does anyone know? I just don't get it.

The Future of AI

We must make robots convincingly just good enough at golf not to slow down traffic but bad enough that our rich people and celebrities can beat them. Then we'll be rolling in dough.

Addendum

Who else has trouble describing how things smell? I can tell you it's good or bad, but past that, nothing. It's time for us all to take sommelier courses.

The Fundamentals of Worldbuilding

If you don't describe the taste, smell, texture, and viscosity of every single sauce used in your setting, your readers might as well be reading a dictionary. I know most fantasy authors understand that, but you science fiction guys need to get your various acts together.

Metaphor Versus Simile

Similes are better because they use more words. Get up that word count, fellas. For the reader? The audience's happiness is your happiness, my friends.

Apollo Justice Collection

Have you ever seen someone call the Ace Attorney games visual novels but also admit to using walkthroughs to get through them? I have. Those people are allowed to vote.

The Three Bridges

"They say the three bridges over the Basawa river were made by fairies. Three different fairies, in fact, and so you be careful if you ever go that once you use one of the bridges, that's the only one you ever use. You know how fairies are."
On hearing that, three men conceived a desire to test the patience of the fairies. The first believed in fairies as much as he believed in honest judges. The second had purchased at a great price a blade promised to be effective against fairies and wanted to try it out. The third no longer had much use for the world.
The three traveled together to the Basawa and agreed that each would take one bridge, then shuffle themselves and go back over, and then move on to the third, one at a time. There was no particular reason for it except a whim, and since that was behind the whole trip, well.
They arrived at the three bridges. One was made of wood that came from those ever-growing trees that men aren't allowed to see. One was made from that metal that's harder than iron and redder than blood that men can't mine. The giants take care of that. One was made from pearl, the entire thing. They made quite a spectacle, all in all.
The three travelers carried out their plan, and at the end of it, the fairies appeared. "Who are these mortals who try to tease us when they have no ability? They can't pretend they don't know how to act."
The fairies came closer, three at first and then three hundred and three thousand after that. The three men were unafraid, and then the fairies realized.
"Oh yes, it's the gods of the ocean, the earth below, and the verdant surface who told us to build these bridges to remind them who they are when they finished their terms of incarnation. Well, never mind then, never mind."
The gods returned to their thrones, and the new era began.
Finis

There Are Two Audiences And Here's How You Appeal To Them

1) "We have to go to the demon world!"
2) "We have to go to the demon world, which is made up of seven layers. Each layer is divided into four distrcts, and each district is controlled by a lord who has under him one general and his two captains, a chancellor, and five tribunes."

Addendum

I'm not saying Wild Scradzer finishes every fight with a Scradzer Slash, but surely some of them end that way.

The Basis of Preference

I'd be more interested in a lot of books if the main character had a name more like Wild Scradzer. Rand and Locke just don't do it for me.

Addendum

Parakeets? Paralyzekeets.

Consider Pets

Your fantasy world has cats? No. It has magicats.

Quick Language Clarification

Could the language everyone understands without being taught it be . . . love? No. That isn't a language.

The Fairy Cottage

Once there was a lovely little cottage in which nobody lived. A prince took up there for a short time, but he left after finding the secret of the wardrobe. A second prince came later, but he left after he discovered the secret of the attic. A third prince moved after unearthing the secret of the cellar.
"I think we have to give up on this idea of dumping the place on a prince, sir. They have money and not much sense, true, but they aren't stable renters."
"Nonsense," declared Realty Sorcerer Garvaskem. "The secrets you planted there simply were insufficiently fell, my apprentice. Try again."
The cottage is still available.
Finis

Merchandising Opportunity

People need special gloves to read books. Nobody realizes it so far, and it's your job to convince them, sell them the gloves, and pay me for the idea. Get on it.

Addendum

"Five-Circuit Seal"
"Neo Jericho"
"Celestial Motte"
"Integument Unassailable"
"V.F.S."

Juicing Up Your Terminology

You were about to write "barrier," weren't you? Don't try to pretend. Try this instead: "Hell Palisade." This fits science fiction better, of course.

Addendum

The language of the gods, sure. A language embedded in our genetic code by the life-seeding civilization, of course. A newly developed language that was refined by linguistic engineers so that everybody understands it instantly in a clear improvement over old models. But don't forget about alignment languages!

Keeping Up With Trends, I Tell You

Rickety: Someone who has lived his entire life on a spaceship.
Victory: A language people understand without having learned it.

The Explosive Planet

"Captain, our initial analysis is complete."
Captain Stenrugger leaned forward and propped his powerful chin on his practiced fist. "Give it to me. No need for the qualifications."
"Yes, sir." The officer consulted his datapad. "Sir, it appears an unknown civilization has laced the planet with a network of machines that, well, they've turned the whole planet into a bomb, sir."
Even the veteran explorers on the vessel were shocked, to say nothing of the newbies. Sternrugger closed his eyes in thought, more to spare them from the embarrassment of being seen disconcerted by their commander than as an aid to concentration.
"Hm. I think we'll . . . just not go there." The captain nodded, sure of his decision.
"It sure is nice that space is so big," the officers and crew all agreed later.
Finis

The Quandaries of Fantasy

Every fantasy writer sooner or later runs into the problem of whether he can call Chantilly lace that given that Chantilly is one of our Earth locations. On the one hand, it's a reference to non-fantasy stuff. On the other, so is lots of stuff. Getting hung up on that is like trying to cut off somebody's skin without getting any of the blood. Here are some points to consider.
- Who's the narrator? Even if you have an omniscient third-person thing going on, think about what kinds of references the narrator might make.
- What's the feel of the thing? Does everything have to be contained within the world, creating a sense perhaps of tension or urgency, or is it a breezier sort of story where digressions are allowed?
- Is there another way to communicate the information? Suppose someone has a pretty face and a ponytail, hanging down, a wiggle in her walk and a giggle in her talk. The reader will get the idea.

Word Frequency

I have the impression "droplet" is used more frequently in fantasy than elsewhere. Check that out, data dogs. By the way, I've just decided to call you data dogs. I think it sounds pretty tough.

Decapolice Corner

Remember when that was supposed to come out in 2023? It didn't. The whole thing is very mysterious.

Mythology Corner

Janus is the god of doors, so make sure to buy new doors and prop them against a wall somewhere. "I'll install those eventually," you say, knowing it to be a lie.

Addendum

Did the kingdom's financial difficulties have to do with all the bedding replacements and excessive soap costs? Probably. But that only raises the issue of how little we, by which I mean I but I bet you two, know about the budgets of pre-modern states. That means no matter what outrageous financial arrangements you invent for your fantasy kingdom, nobody can say a word about it. Go wild in the coming year which already has come.