Moving Halloween

We gotta get this occasion under a full moon, fellas. This gibbous business isn't helping anyone, except people with heart conditions of course.

Addendum

Obviously, "to crosssanction" means to encourage something while in public condemning it. Whether you upsanction or downsanction crosssanctioning is up to you, but it's too useful to give up regardless of public opinion.

Resolving the Sanction Problem

Proposal:
- "to upsanction" means to approve, condone
- "to downsanction" means to censure
Typically we would stick a hyphen in there for an indeterminate time, but we can forgo that, can we not?

The Font of Elevation

One day, the Horrelfot Geyser sprayed gold instead of water. The margrave, thinking of the costs of his current and contemplated entanglements, sent men to dig there, whether for gold or more likely some item strange in its properties.
A few yards of pit later, the men unearthed the cause of it, which was a gnome holding a mass gold. He explained that he realized recently he had neglected to wash his bedding for a few hundred years and nothing less powerful than the geyser would do. The bundle, unrolled, proved to be thick sheets far too heavy for any one of the helpful diggers to lift even when they agreed to assist with the washing.
One among them, not content to suppress his curiosity even when dealing with creatures from whom no sense could be expected, asked the gnome if he would not prefer softer sheets, linen perhaps. The conversation revealed the ignorance gnomes have of comforts. A trade was arranged so that the gnome went away with the softest sheets in the county which were the margrave's own, and his bed too, and his pillows.
The margrave prospered after that, nor did he forget to bestow upon his able servant lands and honors. The new vassal's emblem became a golden sheet in commemoration of that incident, and not because "nobody could think of anything meaningful for that undistinguished family," as you alleged in your scandalous publication. Now that this court has instructed you better, an apology is expected and will reduce the fine from devastating to instructive.
Finis

Halloween Sustainability

The wonks have noticed, but most people are unaware that we have simply run out of mummies. The Egyptians, impressive as the accomplishments of their alien buddies were, produced only so many. For that reason, support the upcoming initiatives to entomb everyone who has ever held national elected office using ancient techniques which inexplicably confer magical powers a few thousand years later that later generations might enjoy what our own cannot.

Approaching Science Fiction Scale

First question: Is a space knight a fighter pilot, a ship officer, a ship captain, a squadron captain, or a fleet captain? Mechs are of course fighters, but as for the equivalency for space dragons or other space monsters, that's the second question.

Addendum

It doesn't have to be top vs. bottom, either. Try some diagonals. Some curves, too. A single mixed field.

On Digital Card Games

Fellas! The cards don't have to look like little cards! Explore the aesthetic space! They can unfold like newspapers, open like pamphlets, just be the monster which ordinarily would be depicted and when you click on it a cartoon speech bubble pops out from it with the rules text, and more.

Arguments for Giving Your Science Fiction Setting One Moon

If most of the galaxy was destroyed in an interstellar war, what do you expect? The remaining one probably has all the wizards on it.

Arguments for Giving Your Fantasy Setting One Moon

1) Nobody cares about the moon unless the story goes there at some point, and going to multiple moons is something accommodated by only a few stories.
2) Plus you gotta name 'em and junk.

On the Other Side of the Lethe

I was driving toward the herpetology conference when the evening and weather, dismissive of the intellectual as they always are, conspired to obscure the way. I paused at the first establishment which appeared both open and likely to have working wifi, which surprised me.
Not beause of the lack of customers; I anticipated that when I saw it to be a bookstore just large enough to prevent suspicions of a repurposed meat locker. Not on account of the shelves, at first glance, contained little but popular mysteries and fantasy epics popular during a period not indicated by "a couple years back," or the absence of functioning wifi. That it was open was the surprise. That is, open in the sense of existing as a business.
As for employees, it had one, a number I thought a trifle high. He happened to be a friendly man, Kirk Wentworth by name, who was able to describe the best route to the venue once I remembered part of its name, and soon I was underway again.
I am not a man accustomed to becoming lost solely because I check and recheck and 10 GOTO 20. Wishing to review my progress, I paused again at, this is a true tale, a newspaper stand by the roadside. It boasted a roof, to explain my choice.
A patron, the only one, thumbing through a magazine became interested in my mumbling, for I admit my sentiments did not permit a perfect dignified silence. I told him of the circumstances. He exclaimed at them. Kirk Wentworth, it seemed, had passed away some fifteen years earlier.
He therefore could not have known about certain construction projects which had altered the traffic situation. By contrast, the person to whom I was then speaking had died a mere eight years prior and accordingly was able to instruct me better. I arrived well in time. Several attendees shared similar incidents. We interpreted them as proof of the importance of the field of study which had captivated our mental energies.
Finis

Today's Halloween Fashion

I'm seeing more yard dragons this year. Is the dragon finally returning to the category of frightening monster instead of walking around in human form all the time? Everybody takes dragon transformations as a given nowadays. I attribute this to Dungeons & Dragons.

The Ignored

I can't remember the last time I read a book in which a character's eyes are described as hazel. Could this mean hazel is fake? That it's just gussied-up brown? I contend that we see here irrefutable proof.

Prospective Technological Solutions

The biggest impediment to broad adoption of an achievement system for reading books is that we have to take participants' word for it. Should we fix this with implants? Nanotechnology? None of that. Eye-tracking will fix it. Of course people will simulate eye movements, of course devices will be calibrated to disqualify speeds above a certain rate, and of course true cheating enthusiasts will master the precise upper bound, just like the fighters in Dune. Once we have those, we won't even need AI.

Movie News

Here's the latest! Movies that aren't horror are still coming out, but they probably shouldn't! That's all! Forever!

Addendum

Be careful. Just because Reginald is right about the Bermuda Triangle doesn't mean you should invest in his company which intends to build a space elevator there. It's not even that close to the equator.

Missing Touchstones

Speaking of ghost and alien sightings, which I was some time ago, when was the last time anyone ever mentioned the Bermuda Triangle? People and cartoons used to be all about the Bermuda Triangle. One might say the matter has been debunked, but another one, we'll call him Reginald, might counter that there wasn't much reason to believe there was anything odd about that region in the first place, and that didn't stop us. Did those Havana spy rays take over? Is there conservation of inexplicable-likely-because-nonexistent phenomena?

The Tale of the Brave Rhino

One day, the rhino conceived envy regarding the many and glorious horns other animals possessed. He went on a journey. Coming across the deer, he asked how he acquired such magnificent antlers.
"I traded for them."
"I understand. Will you trade them to me?"
"There is no chance of that. Last time, I traded away my good sense, and now I can think of nothing that could benefit me." The deer then bounded away.
The rhino wandered. Coming across the goat, he asked how he acquired his distinctive horns.
"Simply by intimidating weaker animals."
"I understand. I am bigger than you. Give me your horns."
But the goat chuckled and hopped up into the mountains.
The rhino sojourned. Coming across the tiger, he saw it engaged in battle with the demon. The tiger was getting the worse of it before the rhino reinforced him. The pair together repelled the demon.
Whereupon the tiger said, "I never knew your courage and prowess, rhino. Let us exchange gifts like heroes." The rhino thereby gained the tiger's mighty horn and friendship while the tiger adopted the rhino's stripes as his own bold emblem.
Moral: What works for one may not for another.
Moral 2: If you see a demon, fight it. Help is coming.
Finis

October Transmutation

For the duration, lightning magic, generally the coolest magic, becomes frightning magic. I suppose that means something morale-based, which tends to be useless or overpowered, flamethrower-like.

Addendum

As for alternate history, I'm not sure that actually exists in our timeline, probably because the Battle of Stamford Bridge turned out the way it did. I don't need to tell you the outcome, same-timeline buddies. Obviously someone whose name begins with "Har" won.

State of Speculative Fiction

Naive portrayals of honorable warrior races have fallen out of favor. That's why nobody likes science fiction anymore. Fantasy is hanging in solely on the double back of thinly disguised erotic fiction (the thinner the better).

Video Game Retrospective

Looking back on it, the Quest for Glory games would have sold double if not quadruple had they been called Quest for Virtue, Quest for Goodness, or Quest for Justice. Did they think they were selling games to vikings or something? To Mycenaean-age Greeks?

Addendum

The only alternative is that ghosts are actually aliens and people just didn't know about space. While that's almost certainly true, supporing novel theories is the way to get ahead. It's not as if I'll endure any penalties if I'm wrong. The papers will have already been published and the citations counted.

October Update

Anybody been spooked to death yet? I'm hoping to confirm my theory that ghosts read blogs all day which is why everyone started reporting alien sightings instead (they can't be entertained by anything short of a cat video).

The Sage and the Exacting Dart

The people implored Grudge Sage Tudin to apply his prodigious knowledge of curses toward allaying their fright at the terrible beast. He was neither unwilling nor incapable.
"The cost however is inestimable," he told them as he explained the terrible armaments he had devised at their request. "Each of these darts makes its demand upon life itself if used, reducing by one the span of years . . ." There he swirled and pointed. "Of that man in particular."
"Such a sacrifice!"
"Why him and not the thrower?"
"We will support your family, sir! Be sure of that."
The whirl of relief and regret failed to rustle the indicated man. "Is this over the fence, Tudin? You didn't come up with this in a month."
"In any case," Tudin continued, "as grim as the matter is, we must ask my dear neighbor Iswar . . ."
"Pay me one dart of a like size in solid gold for each expended and I won't object," the victim declared. The people praised his sacrificing spirit. The monster, meanwhile, suffered what they hoped. It met its death rather sooner than one year per dart, or perhaps exactly as fast, since Tudin impelled several dozen of his cruel missiles, most of them after the thing lay still.
The people anticipated a lavish funeral for the richest man in the region at which they might compete to deliver the most moving eulogy, Grudge Sage Tudin most of all. They continued to anticipate it till the release of the scholarly tract I Discovered the Undying Secret and Here It Is: I Have Known It for Years but I Wanted to Work Out a Curse That Prevents Grudge Sage Tudin From Reading This Explanation Before I Published It by Eternity Sage Iswar.
Finis

The Big Problem With Spaceships

Once we get to mining all them asteroids and such, we'll just fill space with a big complex we can traverse using scooters instead of resorting to big clumsy ships.

For Latecomers

The latest four-book series has finished over on Royal Road for you alpha-omegaists who like to know there's an end before you embrace the beginning.

Fantasy Travel Question

Q. Can riding a dragon or pegasus cause jet lag?
A. No. Dragons and pegasoi never submit to being ridden by someone who might succumb to jet lag.
Q. Suppose however that a passenger is suffered to come along. A rescued princess, perchance.
A. In that case, yes, but the problem can be resolved by curative magic of Rank D or better.

Addendum

That is, if the inheriting family members don't kill one another in the resulting dispute over the priceless legacy, which they most likely will. Whoops!

Future Implementations of Estate Taxes

When spaceships become hereditary, it won't be feasible to break them up and sell the parts. That means a new captain will owe service, possibly a galaxy-ranging quest, a year patroling the space marches, or public transport.